Published April 21, 2012
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139,521 Literary Works • 672,596 Reviews
I liked your poem! It was about an unusual topic. It was simple in a pleasing way, but it could have used some punctuation and capitalization and the beginning of each verse. I also feel as though it could have used a more strong ending and finish that makes a lasting impression on the reader. the vocabulary was simple as well, but it was a great, thought-provoking poem written from a new perspective. Good job!
I liked your poem! It was about an unusual topic. It was simple in a pleasing way, but it could have used some punctuation and capitalization and the beginning of each verse. I also feel as though it could have used a more strong ending and finish that makes a lasting impression on the reader. the vocabulary was simple as well, but it was a great, thought-provoking poem written from a new perspective. Good job!
Wow this is really good! I think that you did a really amazing job! It has good rhymes and when the rhymes aren't there it has a good rhythm. So, keep up the good work. If I was to give a tip, I would say for this stanza
No love for the orphans
just the firm backhand
of a woman who says she cares
I would change it to:
No love for the orphans
just the firm backhand
of a woman who claims she cares
just because in my opinion it would help the flow a little better, but it's not really much of a change so,
Fantastic job!