Hello there, Kylan. It's been a while since I've reviewed anything of yours. It might as well be something that hasn't been reviewed yet, yes?
The first thing I'll note is that the colored punctuation you added in for indentations and such are showing, so, even though this is old, you might want to consider updating this piece to remove them. I believe the new editor preserves spacing, so taking advantage of it would be a good idea (if you're still around).
With that said, I'm not sure what to make of this. It's quite muddled, the meaning obscured, especially at the beginning, and while such obscurity does make sense for the subject of this piece, I felt that in some places, you tried too hard to make things more obscure than they already were. For example, the phrase "building heat like lashes / of raft." is one of those instances I felt you tried too hard to make things more obscure than they already were. Raft lashings aren't part of a lot of people's common knowledge as it is, and so inverting the words feels like just that little extra bit that takes trying into the territory of too hard.
You have a few other phrases and phrasings that feel quite pretentious, which, considering the subject, they should not be, and I found that they really weakened the poem overall. The piece doesn't really gain momentum up until the homemaker line, but by then, the first three lines would probably have scared away most readers with their opaqueness.
The ending lines are the strongest for their clinical simplicity, combined with the negotiations. They painted the clearest picture of her situation and her struggle, which I felt was what the rest of the piece was trying to do, but didn't quite accomplish due to density and obscurity.
Basically, I think this piece would really benefit from a bit less obscuring and more highlighting through simplicity.
Points: 72525
Reviews: 1220
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