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Young Writers Society


12+ Language

LAPIS :Chapter 1: 3RD

by SereneSimpliciT


WARNING:

Sorry, this is a super long chapter |D

Enjoy~

“Alright, move out.”

Isugoro taps Cent’s shoulder as the others in their craft start to stand, looking over to find him lost in thought. As the two walk out, Isugoro leans over, whispering, “You good?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Cent replies, sighing as they follow the other eight out, “Just totally hype about all this.”

Isugoro chuckles, turning back to face frontward, “Oh yeah, totally bursting with excitement, I see.”

Cent grins a little as they make their way down the ramp and into what can they can assume is a holding room. The room is bare metal square with high walls, florescent lights shining a dimmer hue across the space. Their group stops in a single file line, the second of the three ten man sections. In front of them stand two men. One watches them with a warmth to his expression, seemingly pleased by the first impression the group gives. Isugoro appraises him, instantly finding the man’s pale brown eyes. They’re calm, but present, an ere of wisdom in his gaze. The man is a good ten years his senior at least, but with short ebony hair that shows no sign of grey. He’s a bit shorter, but still has a strong presence, backed by the symbol on his collar; Major.

Glancing away a second, Isugoro’s attention is captured by the man beside the Major. Wrinkles are lightly carved into his blank countenance, what hair that can be seen under his cap greyed from time and stress. His presence is different than the Major’s, intimidating in a way that Isugoro hasn’t seen before. His eyes are dark, strangely lifeless. His gaze is hard as he scans over the group, and for an instant, the man’s eyes meet his. The man looks surprised for a moment, then, without a second past, he sends a type of glare toward him. Isugoro doesn’t look away; while a bit taken back, he’s never been the type to back down from something like a stare down. The man is probably just probing, trying to weed out the weak among them. Nothing else happens, the man just continuing on. After a moment, Isugoro glances at Cent, his expression a bit confused as he meets his eye. He had obviously seen the whole thing, but like him, Cent doesn’t seem to have a solid theory on why it had transpired.

“Attention!”

Per usual, they go into a salute, and a grin rises on his darker face. “Well then, it appears that this group is all quite young,” he comments with a strong tone, looking to the man beside him. The man just nods vaguely, seemingly unimpressed by everything he sees. The Major turns his attention back to them, gesturing as he speaks, “At ease.”

They drop their arms, crossing hands behind their backs in unison. “Welcome to your new station; I am Major Julian Sumpti. I oversee our research and engineering sectors here at Gelus,” the Major says, prompting Cent and Isugoro to glance to each other knowingly, “You are one of the few groups chosen to come to Gelus based on your prior accomplishments or contributions, either on the battlefield or in overall performance in the military. I am honored to call you fellow Gelus soldiers from this point forward.”

Behind him, a young woman walks forward, a stack of files in her hands. Major Sumpti grins at her, gesturing to the stack. “These are your Gelus profiles. Inside are details of where you’ll be stationed within Gelus, room number, and in some cases, squad mates,” he explains, “You will receive your stations at the end of a tour of the base.”

Isugoro’s expression falls in confusion, just as do some of the others. Why would they wait?

Major Sumpti seems to sense how they feel as he smirks. “You will all understand in due time, I assure you,” he says, before he looks over, “Now, before we begin, I must introduce the man beside me; Commander Rossa.”

Everyone tenses. Isugoro’s eyes widen. The man beside Major Sumpti with mute eyes, he is the Commander of the base?

The Commander clears his throat, coughing a bit before he steps up some, looking out among them. “I expect nothing but exceptional work from those at Gelus. We are the one of the most influential bases in Vesperia, if not on Earth. Do not do anything lightly here,” the Commander says, his voice higher than expected, considering his commanding presence, “We of Gelus are the strongest of our own. Remember that.”

His eyes find Isugoro again. “Keep your place, and you’ll be fine.”

He salutes the group, all thirty men replying with the same salute, before he drops his hand, looking to Major Sumpti as he turns, “They’re all yours.”

Major Sumpti nods, speaking quietly as the Commander’s pale form walks away, the young woman handing off the files to him before following him, “Of course, Sir.”

His steps are heavy, resonating against the metal with a short clank as he leaves. We all stand stock still as his steps fade off into the distance, before the Major sighs, waving at us. “At ease,” he says, waiting for us to relax before gesturing to a large hangar style door on the far side of the room, “We will be starting by going through the dormitories, then making our way down through the sectors from there. If you’ll follow me.”

With that, the Major walks on, the group forming a living blob as they follow him toward the door. As it opens with a loud clanking, Cent leans over to Isugoro, whispering, “What the hell was up with the Commander glaring you down like that? You met him before?”

“I don’t remember ever seeing him before, I’d imagine I’d know his face,” Isugoro replies quietly, “But he wasn’t doing that to everyone, was he? Was it really just me?”

“From what I could see, it was just you, Man,” Cent replies, patting him on the back, “Tsk, tsk, only been here ten minutes and the superiors here already kinda suck—“

“You can’t say that, people can hear you, idiot!” Isugoro whispers harshly.

“Free country, I can have an opinion,” Cent replies.

“An opinion of what, young man?”

The two freeze, turning to see the Major and a few of the others staring at them. Cent gulps, Isugoro opening his mouth to try to find an answer, but nothing happens. The Major chuckles, then gestures to them, “You two; come forward.”

Isugoro shoots Cent a glare as they work their way to the front of the group, both standing on either side of the Major. The Major hums slightly to himself as he looks through the files, before he pauses. “Ah, Chief Warrant Officer Cent Armasons,” Major Sumpti reads, “Recently promoted I see, after being named a key in three human advancements over captured territory.”

“. . . Yes, Sir,” Cent replies cautiously.

“You’re intelligent it seems. Tested out of all advanced strategic courses and were recorded with the highest score on the technical sciences exam at Academy for someone of your age,” the Major continues, glancing at him, “Tell me, you like to think out loud, Officer?”

Cent gulps, choosing his words carefully, “. . . When it’s best to do so, Sir.”

The Major just laughs. “Well, that won’t do. Everyone I have so far in the engineering program is a “Yes man.” Can get the job done, yeah, but won’t make a peep even if they know they’re right,” the Major says, glancing then to Isugoro, “Tell me, you seem to know him. Is he that kind of man?”

Isugoro meets his gaze, speaking clearly, “Honestly, he’s one of the most opinionated men I’ve ever known.”

Again, his expression warms, his countenance optimistic. “And you’re honest; that’s a good trait . . .” the Major starts, trailing off as he tries to find the file, speaking again once he spots it, “Second Lieutenant Isugoro Jintez.”

“Thank you, Sir,” he replies, giving a knowing glance to Cent that he just saved his ass.

The Major gasps a little, his expression becoming one of surprise as he looks back to Isugoro. Isugoro blinks, curious. “Is something wrong?” he questions.

“Well, I’m just surprised, is all. You don’t come off as someone with over three hundred kills, Lieutenant. . . .” the Major trails as he reads, the men around them quickly looking to Isugoro in amazement, “Also tested out of all advanced strategic courses, extremely high scores in hand-to-hand combat, long and short distance weapons detail. . . . Master level granted for swordplay and long range marksmanship. . . . Deemed leader of squad on 96% of missions.”

“Only 96?” Cent questions without thinking.

“I didn’t lead the first two or three,” Isugoro comments, looking over to Cent, “Remember?”

“Oh yeah; Kino didn’t think you could handle combat or something,” Cent replies, smirking to himself, “Turns out it was him who couldn’t handle it.”

“You two were in the same squad?” the Major asks, surprised.

“We’re contracted together under the Plannis Decree,” Isugoro explains, “Where ever one goes, the other is intended to follow.”

“Oh, I see. That explains a lot . . .” the Major trails, before he clears his throat, closing the files as he turns to face the rest of the group, “Enough small talk; Gelus being as prestigious as it is allows each human soldier their own sleeping quarters with an attached bathroom. The higher in standing, the better the room.”

As he speaks, the group enters a much nicer lengthy hall, tan plaster walls lit with detached AG lights. Along the hall every ten feet is a solid metal door, a number printed on each, with a duffel bag sitting in front of three we pass. “When our tour is done you will be sent to your rooms to be settled and look over your assignments,” the Major says, “Gelus has six human dormitory sections, ranging from five to 13 floors. There’s an additional two for Terrestrial Transfer Soldiers.”

“Interesting, so they do have Terrestrials stationed here permanently,” Cent whispers as his eyes scan over the doors, glancing back to Isugoro, “Seems the theory that the “advanced soldiers” was simply a confused tale of Terrestrials is accurate.”

The Major seems to catch part of Cent’s mumbling, and continues on, “. . . Next, I will be escorting you to meet the advanced soldiers.”

The group members look among each other in confusion, Cent specifically. Isugoro starts to say something to him, but before a word can escape his lips, Cent steps out from the crowd to walk beside the Major. “Wait, so there really are advanced soldiers no one knows about?” Cent questions.

Isugoro face palms.

Cent, we’re going to be kicked out of here before the sun goes down if you keep it up.

Major Sumpti meets his gaze, and grins. “Well, I guess it’s not necessarily something no one knows about if you’re asking me about it, now is it?” he replies.

“They’re believed to be rumors, simple propaganda stories,” Cent answers, “They actually exist?”

While Isugoro does his best to listen in without prying, the rest of the group gels closer together in an attempt to hear the answer. Everyone holds their breath as the Major just watches Cent. Then, he just chuckles, replying simply, “Of course, why would we lie about that?”

Instantly, the rest of the group backs off, breaking into pre-determined cliques to debate what these soldiers could be. Isugoro stays silent, only acknowledging Cent’s gaze of confusion when he turns to face him with a shrug. On the inside, Isugoro starts questioning himself on what they’re about to see, his eyes trailing the floor boards.

What makes these soldiers so advanced? Are they strong? Artificial Intelligence?

Are they human?

The group eventually goes quiet as they walk through the massive hallways, the structure that is Gelus becoming more intimidating in the fact that it’s such a maze, all the halls the same metallic grey with the occasional Vesperian Flag or Crest hanging from the wall. Isugoro’s eyes travel like the rest, but Cent suddenly grabs his attention as they turn to walk down a ramp, pulling on his forearm. Isugoro looks over to him. “Cent—“

“Goro, look to your right, fifty degrees,” Cent interrupts, whispering quietly.

Isugoro’s expression becomes more confused, following Cent’s instructions as his eyes dart up and he turns. It’s only a second before his eyes lock on what Cent must’ve been talking about. Walking down an adjacent hall, there’s two figures. A quick glance, and it’s easy to assume that the two are human, a man and a woman. However, another thing sticks out at short glance.

His hair is gold, hers is purple.

The man turns, and it’s even stranger as Isugoro makes out his eyes, caught off guard by the same golden hue that matches his hair. Immediately, he looks away, puzzled as he tries to understand what he just saw. Cent notices his expression, and leans over, whispering, “You saw them too?”

He finds himself second guessing his eyes, thinking over the situation. They’re walking a good twenty feet apart from the pair in the other hallway. There’s a chance that the lighting may be affecting the tint of what he’s seeing from that far off. That, or he’s having a sudden spurt of color blindness. He glances back to Cent, whispering, “It’s probably just a trick of the eye. . .”

Cent immediately raises an eyebrow, his countenance becoming more of a sarcastic look, his eyes reading something along the lines of “You have got to be kidding me.”

Isugoro just ignores him, following the group until the Major stops them in front of a hangar door, double the size of the one from earlier. As he turns, Major Sumpti looks hesitant, but he sighs, speaking carefully, “Alright, behind this door is where the advanced soldiers are located. The reason they are kept to their own sector is something you will all discover in just a few moments. I will warn you now that what you are about to experience is nothing like what you’ve felt before, so don’t be surprised if your body is unable to handle it. No one’s really can until they adjust to it, and even then, there are few who simply flinch.”

Everyone looks among each other, unsure how to respond. The Major looks among the group, until his eyes fall on Isugoro, and he turns. He snaps his fingers, clanking noises starting over which they can barely hear him say,

“Welcome to the Jeweloid Sector.”

What follows is a blinding force that plows into everyone. Some shout in surprise, others just fall straight to the ground without a word able to escape their lips. Cent falls to his knees, panting heavily as the surge overtakes them. He coughs, unable to look up for a few moments, until the worst of it seems to pass. He glances over to see those who weren’t knocked out helping a few others, but the rest are all staring past his head. His brow furrows, and he follows their gaze, shock taking over him as he finds what they’re staring at is Isugoro. He wasn’t knocked out, but he also wasn’t taken to his knees, the breath taken from him.

He stands straight, his expression perplexed as he finds that for him, nothing happened. He glances around, then meets Cent’s eyes, searching his gaze as if one of them could figure out why he didn’t react. Isugoro holds his hand out to him, and after a moment, Cent takes a tight grip of it, allowing him to pull him to his feet. Both of their attention is pulled from the other however as they see Major Sumpti walking toward them with a speechless look on his face. “J-Jintez, you didn’t react?”

“Uh, n-no,” Isugoro replies, a bit confused by the situation.

“So, he’s impervious to Power Shocks? Interesting.”

Everyone turns to see two figures walking up. Isugoro and Cent glance to each other as they realize who they are. The pair is the same they had caught a glimpse of in the nearby hallway. Isugoro’s brow furrows as he finds his reasoning destroyed. Clear as day, the man’s hair and eyes are a bright gold, while the woman’s are a bluish purple. Both also have strange tattoos on their cheeks beside their eyes. The man’s are zig-zagged, similar to lightning bolts. The woman’s tattoos look like abstracted checkmarks, a random short line sticking out on the other side. Despite them having such strange qualities, their overall appearance is human. In fact, the man, older, laugh lines etched into his pale skin, is the kindest looking person they’ve seen thus far. His eyes are warm, as if lit by his very soul. The woman, while definitely a bit more contained than the man, also looks quite kind, only a bit older than Cent and Isugoro with a very elegant aura to her.

When the man finds Isugoro, however, another odd thing happens. His breath seems to catch, his lips mouthing something Isugoro can’t make out. He looks to the woman, her expression falling in concern once she meets his gaze. Though, she too makes a similar expression to the man when she also finds Isugoro in her sight, but unlike the man, something escapes her lips, “D-Der—“

“No, no, it’s a trick of the eye,” the man replies, taking a deep breath as he looks to the woman, “A very good trick.”

The woman glances back to Isugoro, and nods, not saying another word as the man steps up to him, holding out his hand. “You must be quite strong to be able to withstand a power shock, young man.”

Isugoro stands awkwardly a moment, before he takes the man’s hand, speaking a bit cautiously so his confusion doesn’t get the best of him. “Thank you . . . if I may ask—“

“Don’t know what a Power Shock is, Son?” the man says with a slight chuckle, looking over his shoulder to Major Sumpti, “Sumpti, I’m guessing you’re going to have me explain.”

“If that’s alright with you. Being one yourself, I thought you’d have a better handle on all of this, GOLD,” Major Sumpti replies as he walks over.

“No, not at all, common sense, really,” he replies as he turns his attention back to Isugoro, “A power shock is basically the release of a Jeweloid’s raw energy. Depending on the power level of the Jeweloid, power shocks can be very dangerous to enemies. Or, in your situation, new soldiers.”

“Uh, if I may ask for him . . .” Cent interjects, releasing Isugoro to stand on his own.

The man blinks in surprise, looking to Cent. “My, you certainly didn’t stay affected by it too long. Seems that you’re both very strong people,” he comments, “But yes?”

Cent glances to Isugoro, swallowing hard before he speaks. “Um, what exactly . . . is a Jeweloid?” Cent asks slowly.

The man’s eyes widen, before he suddenly starts laughing. Major Sumpti steps closer, looking among the others who’re just now coming to. “Alright, the advanced soldiers tend to be a bit of complicated thing to explain.“

Wait.

Isugoro looks from Major Sumpti to the man and woman, and blurts, “Y-You’re the advanced soldiers?”

The man chuckles, “Well, yes. We’re Jeweloids.”

“But you’re human, Sir,” Cent interjects, following Isugoro’s lead in blurting out his thoughts.

The words send a hush over everyone. The man and woman stand silent, their eyes fixated on Cent with a strange sense of disbelief. The air seems to become thicker in the intense silence, broken only by awkward glances between different people in the group. After what feels like ages, Cent breaks his gaze from the man and woman, finding Isugoro in his sights. His eyes read help, unsure what to do. Isugoro looks from him to the pair, who’ve turned their attention on him, seeming to sense that he had been thinking something along the same lines. Isugoro’s eyes connect with the man’s and an unexpected link forms. The gold of his stare warms, and the man’s expression softens, becoming more of a grimace. “Human . . .” the man trails.

Everyone turns their attention to him, Major Sumpti even watching the man as the suspense builds. The man just sighs, his eyes moving from Isugoro to the rest of the group. “Allow me to explain to you all; Jeweloids are not Human. However, we were Human at one point,” he says.

Mumbling starts to float among the group. Isugoro’s brow falls in confusion. Cent just stares, crossing his arms as the man continues. “Jeweloids are Humans that were introduced to a molecule called Vicis; it thrives specifically off of Human body heat. It exists only in large bodies of water, normally connected to the ocean, and in the event that a Human comes in contact with a large body of the molecules, they instantly attack and attach, trapping the Human in a substance best compared to ice,” the man explains, “As the Human is exposed to the molecule in a type of hyper sleep over a long period of time, the DNA is distorted, changed, and eventually, we become a what is known as a Jeweloid.”

The group just stands in silence, processing what he’s said. Isugoro glances over to Cent, noticing his eyes are focused, staring hard. The science of the man’s explanation seems to play through his head, testing theory and hypothesis alike. The woman steps forward, speaking elegantly, “We appear Human, but there are key differences between us. For starters, our DNA is simply not the same. Another thing is that Jeweloids are usually hundreds of years old.”

Ok, what?

The expressions of those in the group must be something to behold, as the man starts to chuckle. “Yes, that’s an idea that usually gets people. Take myself for example; I may not necessarily look it, but I am 857 years old,” he says, before his expression becomes a bit more serious, “I was born in what was once known as Maui, when this land was still the United States of America.”

“The USA?”

“He’s American?”

“But the United States ceased to exist when the Great Uniting happened five hundred years ago!”

All around, whispers float among everyone, and after a few moments, it seems Cent just can’t contain himself any longer. He starts to laugh to himself, catching the eye of everyone around him. Isugoro’s expression becomes one of concern, and honest uncertainty as he watches the man and woman turn their attention toward him. Cent sighs, before meeting the man’s eyes, speaking bluntly, “This is a joke, right? It’s common that when new soldiers come to a base, the regulars mess with them in some way. A way of passage, if you can call it that.”

Many of those around him seem to nod in agreement with Cent’s logic. Isugoro holds his breath, something in him, while understanding Cent’s reasoning, unable to believe that all of this was simply a ruse to make them all look incompetent. The man’s expression seems to back Isugoro’s line of thought, as his face falls, his eyes losing some of their warmth as he steps forward, holding Cent’s gaze. Cent’s confidence cracks as he watches him, gulping slightly. The man sighs, speaking plainly, “Son, there’s nothing to joke about when it comes to the Jeweloids.”

Cent’s face goes blank, his eyes unable to maintain contact as his pride breaks a bit. The man glances back at the woman, and she nods. Major Sumpti seems to take the exchange as a chance to step in, clearing his throat to get everyone’s attention back on track. “Now then, this man will be leading the tour for the time being. Be respectful now, as he is the leader of the Jeweloid Sector; Major GOLD,” Sumpti says.

At the sound of his title, everyone straightens up a tad. Cent pales slightly, realizing he’s just disregarded an officer of higher standing. Major GOLD glances at him, and grimaces, before his eyes find Isugoro’s again. “Alright, if you will follow me, we have a demonstration to show you,” Major GOLD says, his eyes leaving Isugoro only as he turns toward the door.

Before long, they’re walking down a long corridor, everyone silent as they look around the space. The air is much more electric, alive. Though, it’s not long before the walkway opens up to reveal an amazing labyrinth; seven stories of breezeways and landings under a large skylight, stacked in a Tetris assortment above a concourse on the ground floor. Of course, what makes it amazing are the occupants. As they walk, beings with similar attributes as the first two suddenly appear on certain levels, vanishing just as quickly before reappearing somewhere else. Some even jump from the high floors, only to appear safely on the ground floor below them, unphased by the incredible feat. Soon enough, some of the “Jeweloids” start to pass them, saluting the three leading respectfully before their eyes find the group following.

It’s an odd mix of reactions. Some just stare as they pass, others seemingly startled by the group, hurrying off as quickly as possible without appearing rude. Then there are those that try to meet their eyes, as if daring the other to look back. Most of those in the group have one of two reactions in response; intimidation or irritation. Considering how the first thing the group encountered was a massive shock that left many of them knocked out for a minute or two, it’s easy to assume that some would be fearful. The rest just see the first impression as rude, and depending on the rank, downright insulting. Major GOLD watches out of his peripheral vision, a shadow crossing over his eyes, an empty acceptance. His eyes then find the two men that had somehow become the most vocal, and his mind pauses.

Cent and Isugoro are slightly different. Cent appears curious, his eyes tracing each person carefully as he seems to make mental notes. He occasionally meets one of the stares, and he nods, showing a respectful grin, even whispering a short hello. Isugoro takes it to a new level. He doesn’t inspect like his best friend, rather, he tries to diffuse the apparent anxiety by giving off an aura of kindness. Many of the Jeweloids are caught by him, stalling as they seem to have the same inherent desire to do a double take. Those who glare meet his eyes, and their expressions soften to a perplexed form of surprise. He just smiles, and says hello as they pass. Major GOLD glances to his associate, and she nods, looking over to Major Sumpti and gesturing to the files.

As if he knew, Major Sumpti replies by giving her the two’s files. She opens one, her eyes scanning the information carefully, before she looks to the Major. “You sure?” she whispers.

“You question me?” he chuckles, “Farah, you’re usually so apprehensive to speak like this.”

The woman, Farah, her purple eyes waver, a small hint of red rising at the tips of her ears. Her brow furrows, closing the file. She moves a tad closer to Major GOLD, whispering, “You mentioned bringing on another Human Representative, but two?”

“Well, I’m still wavering on one. However . . .” Major GOLD replies, his eyes falling away, sneaking a glance back as Isugoro smiles at a pink haired woman, chuckling warmly as her face flushes and she stutters a hello, “. . . it’s as if I’m staring at a photograph. I’d be a fool to let him go.”

Farah’s eyes widen, glancing back herself. Unlike Major GOLD, Isugoro catches her eyes. Farah blinks, caught off guard as she holds his stare. The tranquil blue doesn’t fade in warmth as she’s used to, instead it mirrors the sea, reflecting the sun at midday; kind. Even with her preexisting truths of herself, Farah can’t help her face from heating up, prompting her to whip around. Major GOLD looks over at her as she composes herself, sensing that Isugoro just seems perplexed by the interaction, glancing to Cent. Cent shrugs. Major GOLD holds in a laugh. Truly the men, boys really in comparison to him, show the truth of their bond. They act like brothers, Isugoro promptly rolling his eyes at Cent’s mute input.

Major GOLD glances to Major Sumpti, and after a moment, he hands back one of the files, catching Farah off guard. Major Sumpti even pauses, leaning in as he takes the file, “I assumed you’d take both.”

“That would be greedy, Sir,” Major GOLD replies, before he looks back to him, “Besides, you’re in need of bluntness, aren’t you?”

Major Sumpti blinks, then chuckles, gripping the file tightly as he whispers, “You and that Ability of Mind of yours have my thanks. You had me worried.”

“Well, you keep your mind wide open, Sir. Besides, it would be rude to take the one man you wanted in your personal squadron,” Major GOLD replies.

The two Majors just chuckle. Farah watches silently, her expression calm, though her eyes burn warmly, the only hint of her happiness. Cent’s eyes continue to trace each Jeweloid, before he leans in toward Isugoro, whispering, “Only 20% of the Jeweloids are male.”

“How do you know that?” Isugoro whispers back.

“In the past five minutes, only eight men have walked past, in comparison to the roughly forty women that have walked by or appeared,” Cent replies, his usually relaxed vocabulary becoming more inclined as he theorizes.

“That’s hardly proof that there aren’t more.”

“True, but from what I gather from how the women portray themselves, they’ve been conditioned to fight without male assistance,” Cent elaborates, “They don’t seem at all intimidated, some have more masculine walking patterns, they use types of body language usually associated with men, and the few men I have seen looked extremely respectful of each woman they encountered.”

“What? Being a gentleman means a fewer body count?” Isugoro retorts.

“Not necessarily, just means that inferiority isn’t instilled in these women like at most male-centered bases or institutions,” Cent replies, before a smirk rises on his face, “Rather attractive if I do say so myself.”

It takes every ounce of restraint Isugoro has to keep from groaning. Of course, while Cent usually focuses his mind on numbers and sarcasm, it’s also true that he gets a kick out of flirting. He’s never really chased a girl in their time in the military, but it’d be a lie if he hadn’t charmed a few, his intelligence and easy going demeanor a natural pull to most. In fact, it could be argued that he was the most popular bachelor of Liber during their time there, even with their attempts to keep to themselves.

Still, despite all the admissions and notes he’d received, he never went farther than a kiss, usually a passing interest that would only dissolve after a few days. Isugoro has commented on it a few times, but doesn’t usually intervene. He knows Cent won’t do anything stupid.

Doesn’t mean, however, that he can’t get tiring. “Cent—“ he starts.

“What? It’d be a fun story, romancing an exotic girl, much less a Jeweloid,” Cent comments.

The three leading them pause, catching everyone, including Cent and Isugoro, off guard. None of them move a moment, before Farah turns around, her eyes dulled as she stares down Cent. “Unfortunately, there won’t be an opportunity for that.”

“What? Why—“ Cent starts.

“I will only say this once, men,” Major Sumpti interrupts, his voice much more serious, cutting through Cent’s words straight to his confidence, “The strictest and highest law, the Law of Gelus; under no circumstances are a human and Jeweloid allowed to be in any kind of romantic contact, much less a relationship.”

The majority of the group is unphased by the news, but some are caught off guard by the seemingly unnecessary rule. Isugoro and Cent stand among the confused, Isugoro pushing the question, “But why?”

The Major still doesn’t turn around, speaking plainly, “There are many variables at play when it comes to the reasoning behind the Law. Do not question it. If it is found that someone has broken the rule, they can be penalized severely; demoted to Private without question, dishonorably discharged, or even charged with treason, perhaps worse.”

A new sense of suspense wafts through the group. A pin could be dropped, and ring through the silence. Isugoro can’t help his expression falling into a look of shock, while Cent just stares blankly, his mind unable to understand why there would be such drastic countermeasures for something like romance. Farah, the only one of the three facing the group, fades, her aura becoming fragile. Isugoro traces her face with his eyes, seeing that behind the similarly blank expression, there’s a hint of sadness; almost torment. Curiosity continues to swell within him, but he holds his tongue. It’s easy to tell there’s more to this “law” than meets the eye.

She meets his gaze, and as if to apologize for the topic coming up, he grimaces at her. Her expression lightens with surprise, though it’s short-lived. She acknowledges him with a short nod, then turns, prompting the two Majors to continue forward. The group follows silently. Cent and Isugoro don’t speak another word.

After a few minutes, the group finds itself entering a large shooting range right off of the labyrinth. A few Jeweloids stand at the cubbies, aiming at targets at varying distances with a vast array of firearms. One in particular catches everyone’s eye. A curvy woman, towering in comparison to those around her, leans against a super-sized bazooka, the weapon seeming to be illuminated by an inner fire as it glows warm yellows, oranges, and reds. Her hair is pulled up in an interesting side bun-ponytail hairstyle, fitting in among the odd bunch as her hair is a bright orange. Though she stands out as her skin is the darkest of the Jeweloids they’ve seen thus far, olive perhaps, a tone usually associated with parents of opposite complexion. It peeks through her uniform; a minimal padded jacket that crops at her natural waist, connected to her tighter black pants by leathered straps.

Isugoro turns his attention away, but is caught as he sees that despite the warning they all just heard, Cent is staring at her intently, his eyes seemingly glued to her as they all stop behind her and the other girls she’s with.

Once they all come to a standstill, the girls that surround the woman hastily walk off. Cent watches her closely, his curiosity rising, waiting to see if she turns around. As if to spite that, she doesn’t move to face them, amazingly picking up the large bazooka with only one hand as Major GOLD steps out in front of them.

“This is QUARTZ; she is one of the Jeweloid Sector’s top long range shooters. Today, she is helping out by demonstrating one of the countless ability types Jeweloids possess. The bazooka you see her holding and starting to aim is what is called a Soul Weapon. This weapon is specific to each Jeweloid, and is a manifestation of their powers,” the Major continues as QUARTZ props the weapon expertly on her shoulder, aiming, “In the case of Jeweloids with firearm Soul Weapons, they usually shoot a high density energy blast, the range and accuracy depending solely on the Jeweloid and their power level.”

“Permission to raise power, Sir?” she says, her voice a little lower than the women they’ve seen so far, but warm, as if matching the fiery aura she gives off.

Cent’s brow rises, and he leans, whispering just so Isugoro can make him out, “She’s got an accent; southern.”

“I can hear too,” Isugoro replies, his tone slightly sarcastic.

“What?” he replies, unable to stop a grin from forming as he glances back, “It’s cute.”

“Are you seri—“

“I’m just pointing it out,” Cent interjects, knowing what Isugoro is thinking.

“Permission granted,” Major GOLD says kindly. Immediately, the air becomes more electric. The group is speechless as QUARTZ unexplainably starts to let off an actual glow, a yellow-orange light enveloping her as a sound similar to a jet engine firing up slowly raises in volume. Isugoro glances to Cent, neither sure what to expect. As the sound increases, so does the strange static everyone feels, their skin raising with goosebumps. Distracting everyone a moment, a holographic screen appears above QUARTZ’s head. On the screen they can see three targets, marked at three kilometers away.

“What . . .” Isugoro trails, taking in what is being implied. He looks from the screen to QUARTZ, unable to understand how she could possibly hit –

“Targets locked, power stabilized,” QUARTZ says, “Permission to fire.”

“Granted,” Major GOLD replies.

“Fire in the hole!”

There’s a moment of silence, before a bright spark engulfs them in unison with a roaring boom. At once, almost everyone in the group falls to the ground under the strength of QUARTZ’s power. Even Major Sumpti can’t help but fall to his knees. Cent doesn’t fare any better than he did before, struggling to keep himself from crumbling like the others, much less stay conscious. As the shock subsides, a blaring ringing takes over; Cent, Major Sumpti, and a few others cough, panting as they do their best to look around. Major Sumpti finds Major GOLD and Farah staring, following their eyes to find that impossibly, Isugoro still stands. His breathing is a bit harder, but it can’t be said if it’s from the actual shock of her power, or just, well, being startled.

Farah opens her mouth as if to say something, but nothing comes out. Major GOLD just watches as Isugoro leans over, checking on Cent, a small grin rising on his face as he turns his attention to helping Major Sumpti. “I believe I’ve made a good choice,” Major GOLD comments.

“T-Targets hit . . . Sir.”

Isugoro and Major GOLD look up at the same time, Isugoro’s eyes widening as he finds the screen. Against all odds, the image shows a fading dust cloud, exposing the three targets . . . are no longer there, completely destroyed. His jaw almost drops, totally caught off guard. Major GOLD on the other hand is totally unphased, smiling as he stabilizes Major Sumpti. “Good job, QUARTZ. For helping, I’ll give you the rest of today and tomorrow leave,” he says with a kindness to his voice that’s easy to admire as he helps Major Sumpti to the other side of the room, probably to discuss a decision.

Isugoro’s eyes move from the screen to QUARTZ, seeing that she’s now kneeled on the ground, panting heavily, and mysteriously, her bazooka vanished. After a moment, she laughs a little as she calls after the Major, “Well then, thank ya, Sir. Think you’ll take you up on that.”

“Damn, that packed a punch.”

Isugoro looks down to see Cent finally sitting up, leaning his head back as he breathes a little easier. QUARTZ turns, and she giggles, her warm accent woven through her words, “I’d hope so, that’s one of my best attacks, newbie.”

Cent smirks, enticed by the sound of her laughter. He chuckles himself, moving his head to finally look at her. “Newbie, eh?” he starts, “Well, I must say it’s pretty . . .”

Isugoro’s brow furrows slightly as he hears Cent’s voice trail off, glancing again to get an even greater shock; Cent frozen, his face blank, speechless as he stares. Isugoro follows his gaze, and he’s caught off guard as he finds QUARTZ at the other end. While a majority of the women they’ve passed have been attractive, QUARTZ is beautiful. Her eyes are sharp, but kind, the same warm orange as her hair. The tattoos every Jeweloid seems to have crisscross like abstract barbed wire with tiny circles here and there on the higher part of her cheekbones, standing out just barely against her tanned complexion. She has a few piercings; both ears with double cartilage and lobe piercings, a right nose stud, and a belly button ring exposed by the slight crop off of her uniform jacket. It can even be seen that a beauty mark dots her face, right below her lip on the left side. She’s in shape, but her body is voluptuous. That said, the aura she gives off is elegant, confidant, definitely the kind of woman that deserves respect.

“. . . breathtaking. . . .”

Isugoro’s eyes widen in shock as he turns his attention back to Cent. For the first time in either of their lives, his entire attention has been consumed by a girl; Isugoro’s entire synopsis thrown out in a single moment. An odd mixture of dread and surprise form as he realizes the situation; the impossible has just happened before his very eyes. Cent has a legitimate crush, and on a woman he can’t have; a Jeweloid.

QUARTZ doesn’t seem at all put off by Cent, meeting his eyes with a similar look, except her face is a bit flush. Isugoro glances to the Majors, feeling better that neither of them are paying attention. However, Farah’s expression is alarmed, a bit paler. She seems to sense him watching, turning and meeting his gaze. He swallows hard, unsure what to do. Farah though seems to take it as a signal, and moves toward QUARTZ, leaning over and whispering, “You’re dismissed, go now.”

QUARTZ breaks her trance, glancing at Farah a moment, starting to speak, “AMYTHEST—“

“Go,” Farah says, before her expression softens, whispering lightly, “C’mon Sammy, you know better than to be looking at a Human.”

The comment causes QUARTZ’s expression to harden some, her brow furrowing. She sighs, allowing Farah to help her up. She watches her a moment, then turns her attention back to Cent, who’s still sitting, staring at her, speechless. Those around him are starting to stir, but still aren’t paying attention. She makes a split second decision, and walks away from Farah’s grip, catching her off guard as she steps up to Cent. His face becomes more stunned as she smiles at him, leaning over slightly and extending a hand to him. “Need some help?”

He’s frozen, before it clicks in his head what’s happening, and he quickly nods, taking her hand as he stutters out a response, “T-Thanks.”

QUARTZ giggles as she pulls, helping Cent to his feet. Her grip is warm, gentle, just like the rest of her presence. Cent just watches her; unable to look away from her eyes as he gains his bearings on his feet. He does acknowledge though that they’re actually close to the same height, a minimal difference of centimeters, which is pretty tall considering Cent is around 185-186. Her cheeks warm as he stumbles slightly, falling against her some. His expression becomes one of embarrassment, and he looks away at last. She just responds by leaning a bit as she helps him, whispering in his ear, “My real name is Sammy.”

Cent blinks, face flush. He pulls away, meeting her eyes and sees her smiling, before she raises her free hand up, putting her index finger to her lips as a sign to stay quiet. Finally, the awkwardness in his body subsides some, as he grins, nodding slightly. Isugoro, seeing that the majors are about to walk back, turns and lightly nudges Cent, catching him off guard. He jumps a bit, jerking his head around to look at him. He gestures to the Majors, and Cent’s expression falls. QUARTZ, Sammy, watches the exchange, and glances down, her eyes widening when she realizes the two are still holding hands, Cent’s grip not showing any sign of releasing. Her face reddens more, but then, a grimace forms; a shadow falls over her eyes.

Farah, who by this point is almost red with embarrassment from watching the illegal intimacy, strides forward, pulling on Sammy’s shoulder, whispering a bit harsher, “Go . . ! If Kasami sees—“

“I know,” she replies, glancing back at her, before her eyes find Cent once more, her expression softening, “Bye. . .”

Cent’s expression actually saddens as Sammy finally loosens her grip, though her fingers linger around his as she starts to walk off, falling limply to her side as their hold finally breaks. Isugoro notices, as well as makes note of something else. He sighs, making sure the Majors haven’t turned back yet before he grabs her wrist. Sammy jerks, Cent immediately looking to him in confusion. Even Farah seems surprised, holding her breath. As Sammy looks back at him, she’s caught off guard as a grin rises on his lips, and he whispers, “His name is Cent.”

Sammy blinks in surprise while Cent face palms in embarrassment, realizing his mess up. After a moment though, she smirks a little, chuckling some as Isugoro releases his grip. She nods in acknowledgement, then glances back one last time at Cent, watching as he takes a deep breath, his face flush again. As her cheeks warm, she looks back to Isugoro, before she finally walks off, passing the Majors as they finally walk back. Farah stands flabbergasted as Isugoro smirks, leaning some as he whispers to Cent, “You’re welcome—“

“Oh shut up,” Cent interrupts, even his voice notably affected by his embarrassment; quieter, but quick, flustered. Isugoro just grins, before he looks to Farah, his expression falling as they make eye contact. Her eyes are sad, almost guilty. Then, of course, what they were just told runs through Isugoro’s head.

“. . .under no circumstances are a human and Jeweloid allowed to be in any kind of romantic contact, much less a relationship.”

Isugoro looks back to Cent, his expression harder as he seems lost in thought.

Major Sumpti claps, grabbing everyone’s attention as the others finally start to stand themselves, no one aware of the predicament that just arose. Major GOLD grins as he speaks, “As you can see, Jeweloids are quite capable. QUARTZ’s abilities are only one of the many Jeweloids have, so each if important in their own way to the cause.”

He gestures towards the entrance, continuing to speak, “The rest of the sector is private, due to the Jeweloids’ current situation. Only the Human Representatives have access to the other areas, so with this, I will turn over your tour back to Major Sumpti.”

Major Sumpti grins as he steps forward, pausing until everyone is standing. “Alright men, we are going to exit the Jeweloid Sector and head to the gyms,” Major Sumpti says, stopping and looking directly at Isugoro, “Except for you, Jintez.”

Cent snaps out of his thoughts as Isugoro is called out, Isugoro himself becoming stock still as everyone stares at him. Major Sumpti gestures to him to step forward, and Isugoro follows hesitantly, glancing over at Cent. Major Sumpti chuckles, “You’re not in trouble. Actually, I should congratulate you.”

Isugoro’s eyes widen in surprise. “Why, Sir?” he questions.

Major Sumpti looks to Major GOLD, smiling brighter. “The Jeweloid Sector is in need of a new Human Representative. You were already on a short list of choices, but it was officially decided that you will fill that position,” Major Sumpti replies, before he gestures to Major GOLD, “Major GOLD will be your supervising officer from here on out. Your room is going to be changed so that you are in the wing closest to the Jeweloid Sector, so when you get your file, ignore the number printed originally; Major GOLD will give you the correct number. While the rest of the group goes to tour their areas of work, you are to stay here with the Major to tour yours. Does that make sense?”

He just stands there, speechless. He hadn’t expected to be chosen for anything like this; a position personally working with the Jeweloids. Cent seems off, his brow furrowed, realizing that the two are going to be separated from here on out. Considering what just happened, it’s a low blow. They won’t be able to discuss anything.

Isugoro nods. “Yes, Sir.”

Major GOLD grins, while Major Sumpti looks to the rest of the group. “Alright men, the rest of you follow me,” Major Sumpti says as he turns, walking toward the entrance.

The group follows like a herd, some glancing at Isugoro only to lose interest. Isugoro watches silently, turning a little to see Cent hesitating. They make eye contact, and it’s easy to tell Cent still has a lot on his mind. Isugoro grimaces, gesturing to the group. “Don’t fall behind. I’ll see ya.”

“. . . You better,” Cent trails, his voice quiet as he turns. Isugoro’s expression falters, watching as Cent follows after the group, alone.

Major GOLD watches the exchange, but waits until Cent is gone, as is everyone else, before he sighs, stepping up and patting Isugoro on the shoulder. “It’s easy to see that you two have known each other for quite some time,” he says as Isugoro looks over to him, showing a kind expression, “You will see him again before you know it. Come, let’s get started.

You have a lot to learn.”


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Sun Aug 27, 2017 4:49 am
Rosendorn wrote a review...



Hello.

Sci fi is normally not my strong point, so everything here should be taken with a grain of salt.

The head jumping Kyll mentioned definitely made this hard to follow for me, and I feel it robbed your descriptions of any punch. Your opening paragraphs are dry, giving us a full overview of everything physical but there is a certain lack of context to everything that makes this hard for me to get into.

Up until they're called to attention, I thought they were prisoners, to give you an idea. Because everything is so stark, cold, and everyone moves as a unit, there was the lack of friendliness and sense of all-in-this-together that tends to be the hallmark of the military. I'm not talking witty banter, but more the fact the dialogue or early description doesn't have any sense of either routine new base or of any hint at bonds between members. The dialogue could be anyone or anything, from strangers to new squad mates who share a common history but don't know each other to tense acquaintances to friends.

Because there's a lack of context, there's no sense of why I should care or even a hint as to what type of story this is. I get nothing until seven or eight paragraphs, and there really isn't any personality to be had in those seven or eight paragraphs. It's all too clinical, without anything that seems out of place I should be curious about. It's "a day in the life" as a day in the life plays, where you just note everything but don't say why or who or what or anything of the sort.

All in all, I want something to grab my attention that doesn't run up against "standard sci fi setting." I want to know what makes this setting interesting, what makes this set of characters interesting, and what makes this story worth reading. I'm not getting that right now.

Hope this helps. Let me know if you have any questions or comments.

~Rosey






Wow, I'm really late responding to this! So sorry! College is being . . . well, college.

So I honestly agree with a lot of what you said. As mentioned in Kyll's comment, I have written this out as a full novel once before, but it was in 1st person (from Isugoro's pov) and when I took it to a publisher, they requested it be written in 3rd, which unfortunately (and apparently, oddly) is not what I'm really that versed in, or great at, so that's mainly why it sounds so robotic (especially at the beginning, so sorry |D). I mainly published these to see what the response would be in comparison to the original, and as I expected, it was more mixed than overly positive since I'm writing in a pov I'm not used to.

If you have any suggestions I'd love to hear them, if you know of any books that could help, that'd be awesome. I'm still trying to edit these chapters (which is mainly why I never posted the ones that follow) because like you, I do believe in having a strong beginning, and I will take any feedback that'll help me accomplish it!

Thanks!
~Maddie



Rosendorn says...


I'd suggest taking the story to limited third. So basically, it's only one level removed from first person, and the story is still written with a heavy tint of the character's narration.

Right now it seems like you're getting tangled up in first's distance from the protagonist, which is causing you to zoom out way too far. Try focusing on the closeness and inserting your protagonist's narrative slant everywhere you can.

As for books, I read Characters, Emotion, and Viewpoint when I started writing and it was wonderful. All of Nancy Kress' writing books were books I swore by for years, and I should probably revisit them.



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Sun Aug 27, 2017 3:10 am
Kale wrote a review...



First things first, I am so so so so happy that you're still working on this because oh man does it speak to your commitment to making this story the best it can be, and I am so on board to see where you go with this iteration.

I'm also kind of super hyped to read this because I enjoyed the previous version, even as I picked apart quite a bit in my reviews. XD

And so, in the vein of that tradition, and in celebration of Review Day, here's another review from me. ;P

There were a few typos, and I caught at least once instance where you forgot to switch the pronouns to be third-person instead of first-person, but those minor things aside, there is a lot of head-hopping between character PoVs, which made following the action and keeping track of the characters a bit interesting. Right now, you haven't quite made it all the way to third-person since much of this reads as a straight switching of pronouns, and with all the hopping between characters, it looks to me like you're aiming for omniscient, but due to the original being written in first-person, the third-person in here is too close to be omniscient.

There are two main options that I see you having at this point: going fully omniscient, which would involve adding a bit more distance between the characters' thoughts and the narration, or sticking with a close third-limited with scene breaks to signal switches between characters. Alternatively, you could stick to a close third-limited told entirely from a single character's perspective (probably Goro's).

I do think that sticking with some form of third-person is the way to go though because it allows you to incorporate more details and information than the first-person version, which I think the story really needs.






Yeahhhhhhhhhh (I honestly haven't been able to get on since school started last August, I'm so awful |D)

So hi! I'm not dead!

And I 1000% agree that this pales in comparison to my first version, at least in terms of emotion. I honestly don't have much experience writing in 3rd and due to that, this has been the hardest thing ever for me to write. I published these two (being the intro and this) back to back mainly because I wanted to get a feel for how people felt about these in comparison to the first version, and as I expected, this one was seen as worse because it does get robotic and kinda confusing (plus I've made a lot of changes to plot points so in this rewrite I had to go back and change scenes and it's been greaaaaaaaat)

Right now, the biggest issue I have with LAPIS isn't even the plot, it's how to go about writing it. I don't want to return to 1st (even though that's what I'm good at) because I do want more interaction with Cent and the other side characters, especially as we get into the third book eventually. However, it's hard because especially for the first two books or so, a lot of the events focus on Isugoro and Maggie and whatnot (idr if you read what I put up of DUET) so I'm especially unsure how to go about writing it in a way that isn't hopelessly confusing.

I do like the scene breaks idea. I'm currently in an advanced fiction writing class and we had to do an entire assignment with them, and they were pretty easy once I got into writing. I should honestly update this chapter to incorporate what I know now to see if it's improved/what I can cut (cause I do know my chapters are pretty long, especially for YWS)

If you know of any books that I could reference that involve a lot of characters that would be wonderful. I'm building a list so this summer I can dive in and really attack this thing.

Any other feedback about LAPIS in general would be great and as always, happy to see your comment!

~Maddie




"Who am I? I'm just a writer. I write things down. I walk through your dreams and invent the future."
— Richard Siken