Young Writers Society

Hai here to drop you a quick review ^o^

This is absolutely beautiful! This song truly captures the beauty all women possess. It made me smile. Truly this would make the most insecure girl or women feel beautiful. Its not the outer beauty that matters when it boils down to it. It is the inner beauty that can often be very rare in people. This song makes me think of Mulan (don't ask me why, I just adore disney films!). You have real talent! Keep writing and remember that your beautiful! Inside and out!

~Emma

This is beautiful. This talks about beauty that every woman posseses and it's perfect. This song is enought to make even the most insecure woman or girl feel better. There is beauty within everyone. It only take a very special person to spot it. You have a talent, Thank you for sharing this with us all and I hope to see more of your works soon. Keep your head up and worries down and never ever stop writing.


~Sam

Hello!

I thought this was a rather interesting poem.

I liked the words you used: they were very descriptive and packed with imagery.
I liked the story you told, how this beautiful thing became angry and cruel but still maintained its beauty.

I noticed you tried to rhyme here and there, but (as far as I could tell) you weren't following any rhyming pattern. I think it's important that if you ever have any rhymes that you have them consistently. Consistency is very important in poetry, so I'd recommend using a rhyme pattern, or not rhyming at all. If your rhymes were unintentional, sorry, but you had lots of rhyming lines.

Some of your lines and words were rather cliche. I'm not sure exactly which lines to pull for this, but I'd say read this aloud, and if you've heard the phrase used elsewhere, it's probably cliche. You want to avoid cliches as much as possible. I think this mostly happens toward the middle where she turns cruel?

I noticed that you rated this as E for Everyone. There was a place in here that could definitely be interpreted as a sexual innuendo. I don't know if you were aware of this, and if you weren't, you might want to fix that. sorry for being awkward. >.>


I think that's all I have for this poem.
Good job, keep writing!
~fortis

Thanks BooKWolf, I don't know if I would ever submit another as this was a one off poem and a friend (BabyLa) encouraged me to upload it on the site.

Wow.... That was awesome! I can't find a single thing wrong with this poem. Its so perfect! I quickly found myself enchanted by your writing. The flow was perfect. This poem really spoke to me. I love poems like this. And I look forward to when I can read your stuff again.

Good-bye for now!

~BookWolf