Young Writers Society

Over all I felt your work was very well written. Almost every line should be ended with a comma, although the first few lines should have been punctuated with a question marks. Only to keep the rhythm of the poem going. Every other aspect of your poem is almost perfect. I think this piece of work is out standing.

Knight r4 here to review this poem for you, Jeesheeran. I certainly hope this helps you!

This poem is probably one of the best poems I have read, especially on YWS. Granted I'm not all that big into poems, but this one was really good. I would definitely read more of your poems if I have the time! . This really conveys the emotion of the person well.

I did have a couple nitpicks. I think that one thing people who write poetry tend to do is fail to use much if any punctuation. If you were to read through it you could find several places where a comma or maybe end mark could be inserted. That just helps the reader know when to pause and so on so they can catch the rhythm of the poem a little bit better.

I also think that you might want to put a rating on this such as twelve because you mention drinking and divorce, even if it is somewhat indirectly.

Overall with a couple of added touches this could be an even better poem than it already is. The words and everything were alright, just add some punctuation to them. . Once again I hope this helps and I definitely look forward to reading more of your poetry!! Happy writing!!!

That was amazing! The rhymes and story and imagery were just perfect. Great job!

Wow, I really enjoyed this piece. I could really feel all the emotion this character is expressing. " How can you sleep so peacefully when you know I'm not alone? I'm drinking out of every bottle gasping your name in every moan." I thought that was a very powerful ending and there was such imagery to it. Nice job, keep up the good work!