I let go of my mother’s tearstained blouse, I look into her deep blue eyes reminding myself to be brave. I watch her shadow fade into the distance, I duck behind a wall to take cover, I hear millions of gunshots but the one that killed her stood out from them all. I half-heartedly run through the maze of the dead and stumble onto my mother, lying limp on the floor. I see a giant wound where her heart should be, blood coming from all directions. I’m blinded by grief. Her eyes linger open, I know she’s gone. I shut her eyelids trying to be peaceful but someone drags me off my feet. A single tear lands on my mother’s cheek I quickly bid her goodbye as my kidnapper takes me away. I don’t bother struggling as there is no point. I have lost everything. My head is covered and my limbs bound together by an immense force squeezing all nerves out of my body to welcome numbness.
That was 5 years ago
I stand in front of the thousands of graves that sit in this church yard. Only a few I know. Yet all of them died for me, for the divergent. I gaze among them my eyes linger upon the very few I know, the very few that stand out among the thousands.
I see my mother and father lie romantically side by side under the layers of rock and dirt that separates us. They died for me. The rest had a choice, they could have saved their necks but they didn’t and it has got them in a mess. A mess they can never be rid of. Death. They saved me and for that I am eternally grateful however it’s the price you have to pay when you are divergent. Like me.
I see his silhouette standing in the graves over head, I see him sink to his knees. He has probably found his own parents. Even from here his tears are faintly visible. I stroll over to him not bothering to take my time to look at the shameless names on the rotting graves. To read them I must be able to stop. Look. Read. Something I haven’t got time for.
“Tobias” I whisper so quietly I don’t think he heard but he did. He stands up keeping his back to me. I run up to him. The dead names wiz past in about 3 seconds. Gradually I get closer I hear sobs, soft sobs echoing from Tobias. He turns round showing me is blotched face tears rolling freely down his cheeks marking out his cheekbones. Even in the dead of night I can still make out his swollen bloodshot eyes. He looks down at me not bothering to turn back around to face his dead parents. I don’t think I could turn around again to face the parents that died for me. We share the same terrible burden; it just adds to the rest we carry along with us, yet why this one standing out from the rest? Why does this one seem like my fault?
“Irresponsible, they could have lived saved their own necks” he finally says in his croaky voice.
“Even Marcus, he saved me by sacrificing himself, irresponsible” he continues.
I look in to his deep dark eyes unable to make them out in the dark yet I know they’re there.
“No” I say planting a kiss on his forehead
“No, they were brave something you have to be” I continue
“They were selfish; selfishness has nothing to do with bravery”
“It can be” I say giving him a lingering kiss on his full lips. Nothing can separate us when we are bound together. You my call it a coincidence, I call it fate.
We creep in to the bureau unnoticed. We head towards the dorm but nobody is there. I look for Lynn, I call out Marlene yet no one comes. I start shivering in my blue shorts and shirt. I feel Tobias’s fingers curl into my palm. At his touch I suddenly feel warm again, the second he lets go I’m struck with grief and I start shivering again.
We search around the bureau for what seems like forever. I hear a faint scream; from the corner of my eye I see dead bodies or what seem to be bodies. The shape, the motions of them seem familiar like I have seen them before. I tug on Tobias’s t-shirt and point in the direction of the dead. He gasps and rushes towards them, I follow.
There on the floor I see my brother Caleb lying limp on the floor blood poring out of him like a water fall, a waterfall of blood. I see his stone cold face his eyes looking up at me, without blinking, I fumble around for his hands not caring if I touch any blood. Cold, cold as ice, his pointy finger tips carve the groove in my palm. I feel my adrenaline fueled heart pounding effortlessly against my chest. A single tear stains his almost perfect face sleeping in tranquillity forever. More tears leave my eyes when I see who’s lying next to him, Lynn. I gasp at the sight of her war-battered face. No more crying I tell my self. No more. Be brave Tris I tell my self. I must be strong. For her. For them. No more. Lynn looks even more peaceful. What was once a happy glowing face full of life is now a limp, thin dirty face showing no life at all.
I get up and leave the corridor and run. Far, far away from where my dead brother and best friend fell. I hear Tobias’s thundering footsteps behind me threatening to catch me up lingering closer and closer until he finally does. I stop, grief stricken and lonely. My parent’s grave to see earlier today, and now I have just lost my brother and my best friend, whoever did this is going to pay, and they are going to pay big-time! Everything I had, all gone I have to find out what happened here.
We don’t see any more dead bodies lying on the floor. When we reach the lab we find David, Christina, Matthew, Cara, Amar and Marlene. They look about as worn-down as we do. Their clothes ripped and torn also they all have greasy hair and smell of old urine and sweat. A draft flows through a hole in the wall, it tickels my ears so I squirm. All the lights are switched off giving the room an eerie effect, a shiver spirals down my spine so I clutch Tobias's hand, harder, harder, I swear he winced.
"Have you guys been living here?", I ask not wanting to hear the answer but an eerie silence that falls over us all like a thick blanket answers my question. We sit in the small stuffy room for what seems for a year but it was only twenty minuets.
“There was a war”! Matthew finnally decided to say. I want to hide in a dark corner, all alone. Another war means more dying, more injuries and most of all alot more grief. I know I must say something.
“We must prepare for another attack! Everything we do now counts on our lives, to the very last detail, costs our lives” I say. (It sounded better in my head.) A tear falls on to my tear stained cheek. Oh no I just remebered Caleb and Lynn, I wipe the tell tale tear away with the palm of my sweaty hand and concentrate on giving a speech.
“Double the guards, double security, double everything because ladies and gentlemen we are going to war!!!” I say yet again. (It sounded a lot better aloud than in my head). Tobias gives me an awkward smile, which then turns to a smile that is probably hurting his cheeks, to a full on kiss on the lips. I smile with gee. Faith is everything right now!