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The Wayfaring-Chapter 4 : An Unexpected Turn (Revised)

by Sillia


Chapter 4: An Unexpected Turn

“You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.”William Faulkner

They awoke the next morning to the sound of Mystic crying below. Will and Alice had been up for hours, moving busily and determinedly between the stables below and the rooms in the back hall. Nathan was the first to awake, blinking as his face was bathed in the bright sunlight of the morning sun. Pushing himself up onto his elbows, he glanced over to where Jason and Griffin were still fast asleep. He looked over to where Alice had walked in, wondering why Anica was not yet awake.

“Alice, where is Anica?”

Alice paused besides him, a bucket of water in her hands. “She went into town a while ago. I’m a little worried that she hasn’t yet returned. Not everyone is as welcome to you forest folk. If you wouldn’t mind, could you go find her?”

He nodded, “That’s a good idea.”

Alice turned away moving gracefully down the hall, entering a room and shutting the door behind her. Nathan turned to Jason shaking his shoulder gently.

“Jason. Jason wake up.”

The boy swatted his hand away sleepily. “Miles knock it off. It’s too early for this.”

“Jason…” he trailed of slightly. “It’s Nathan.”

“Nathan?” Jason’s deep blue eyes opened and he looked up at Nathan. “Oh…Nathan. No offense but I was kinda hoping this had all been a dream.”

Nathan gave him a small smile. “I get it. Wake Griffin would you? Alice says Anica went out a few hours ago and hasn’t returned. We’ll leave him here, I just don’t want him to wake up and find us missing.”

Concern flickered in his eyes. “Alright. We’d better go find her before she gets into trouble.”

“Anica has a temper.” He explained as Jason woke Griffin, “It’s not her I’m worried about, it’s everyone else.”

Jason laughed softly too himself as Griffin pushed himself to his knees, wincing with pain. “What is it?”

“Anica, a friend of mine, seems to have gone missing.” Nathan explained, strapping on his weapons belt. “Jason and I have been asked to go find her.”

“Alright.” Griffin nodded. “I’m coming with you.”

Jason stood, looking down at Griffin as he tried to struggle to his feet. “No way. I bet you can’t even make it down the stairs!” He knelt beside the red-haired boy, meeting his eyes evenly. “You need to rest. Stay here with Alice and Will.”

“I’m fine.” Griffin insisted, grabbing Jason’s arm and pulling himself up. A gasp of pain escaped from between his lips as he stood. He clutched Jason’s arms for a few more moments, holding his head as it spun, black spots appearing in his eyes.

“How do you feel?” Nathan asked as Jason laid his hand on Griffin’s shoulder.

He grimaced. “Like I was shot in the back.” He looked down at his chest. “Ahh my shirt is still gone I see.”

“Did you expect it to magically appear on you?” Alice’s voice came once again from the door way to the kitchen. She held Griffin’s shirt in her hands.

Color flushed his face slightly. “May I have it back now?”

“It’s good to see you awake.” Alice said with a small smile, throwing it too him. “You gave my father and me quite a scare last night. What is your name?”

“Griffin. I assume your Alice?”

She nodded, turning to Jason. “Please keep an eye on Nathan out there Jason. I had meant for Griffin to stay behind, since he cannot possibly be fit for walking.” She locked eyes with Nathan. “Please find Anica.”

Jason looked Griffin over. “Don’t worry Alice, he’s staying here.”

Nathan nodded. “You don’t have to tell me twice. My father will be crushed if he loses his apprentice. Plus,” he added quickly at the look on her face, “She’s sorta grown on me.”

She rolled her eyes and walked back out into the stables, though not before Nathan caught her growing smile. Griffin slid his shirt over his head, wincing slightly as he stretched his back.

“Maybe she’s right Griffin. Maybe you should stay behind.” Nathan said uncertainly.

Griffin shook his head. “You saved my life as much as Jason did. It will take me years to repay that debt- to either of you. At least I can at least start by helping you find your friend.”

Jason stood beside Griffin. “Relax Nathan. He’ll be alright.”

“He’s not going.” Nathan’s voice was flat. “He can walk us to the door to let that dog out but he’s not going any farther than that.”

Griffin huffed, “We’ll see about that.” He muttered.

Nathan just shook his head, heading to the door. He paused beside it, frowning down at Anica’s abandoned weapons belt. “That’s strange…” he muttered to himself.

Jason tipped his head to one side, eyeing the belt. “What is it?”

“The belt.” He gestured to it. “Anica never left home without it. Or at least not without a knife in her boot.” He bent down and examined the knives, startled to see them all in their holsters. “There all here. Something is not right.”

“It’s a new place, new town. You guys haven’t been out before. Maybe she was just unsure if she was allowed to carry a weapon.” Jason offered.

“Maybe…” he said softly.

I know Anica. He thought to himself. She wouldn’t leave her belt here unless she had good reason. He shook his head and walked down the small landing, stepping lightly down the stairs.Jason and Griffin followed behind, their footsteps heavy and uneven. Nathan, lost in his own thoughts, ran headfirst into Will, causing them to both stumble backwards. Jason caught Nathan under the arms as he fell backwards, a small laugh escaping his throat. He pushed the boy to his feet, brushing his black hair from his eyes.

“Good morning Will.” Nathan bowed politely. “I didn’t see you coming, I apologize.”

Will’s lips curved up into a slight smile, though his face appeared tense and anxious. “It’s alright my boy.” His eyes trailed up to where Griffin stood. “Ah I see he’s awake. Where you three off too this early? He should be resting.” He pointed a heavy finger at Griffin accusingly.

Griffin dipped his head politely. “Thank you for offering us safe harbor for the night, sir. I’m Griffin Alizono. I am forever in your debt.”

Will bit his bottom lip, waving away the gratitude. “Jason here didn’t give me much of a choice.” He forced a smile at Jason.

“To answer your question sir,” Jason replied, “Alice said Anica went out this morning and had not yet returned. She asked us to go search for her. Griffin’s going to be staying here with you and Alice. Nathan here won’t let him leave.”

Will laughed nervously. “It’s a big city boys! Extremely big to forest folk like yourselves.” He nodded to Nathan.

Jason’s mouth turned down in a small frown. “We’ll all the same, your daughter asked us to look for her, and that’s what we’re going to do.”

Nathan made to brush past him, but Will stepped hastily in front of him, blocking their exit from the stairs. “Why don’t you boys stay behind? Help out down here? Alice has some errands she needs to run. She can find Anica, no worries.”

Nathan’s eyes narrowed. “I won’t risk Anica being out alone in a city like this. She has a temper and is easily offended. The last thing we need is for her to get into a fight somewhere. I made a promise to my father that I’d keep her safe, and right now your preventing me from doing that.” His voice held a tinge of anger.

“Why aren’t you letting us leave sir?” Griffin’s voice, full of unsaid accusation and suspicion came from behind them.

Will laughed again, his laugh cracking with nervous and sweat trickling down his temple. “I’m just concerned for you lot. Alice seems to be takin’ to Anica like a fish to water. I could ‘ear them talking’ all night. Just don’t want you all getting injured somewhere and not bein’ able to make it back before nightfall.”

Nathan spoke again, his voice and eyes growing cold. “While I appreciate the concern, Anica and I agreed that we’d be gone already. We were going to pay you for your hospitality, leave instructions on how to care for Griffin’s wounds, and be on our way. We have a Wayfaring to complete.”

Will’s eyes darted around, as if he were trying to find another argument why they shouldn’t go. Finally he stepped back. “Alright alright. Off you go.” He locked eyes with Griffin. “But he’s staying here.”

Nathan darted past him before he could change his mind, heading to his stalled horse. Jason and Griffin followed behind quickly. Griffin headed to the caged dog, throwing the pen open. The black she-dog darted into the aisle, growling at both Nathan and Will. She thrust her way in front of Jason, backing up against him, forcing him to walk back until he was side-by-side with Griffin.

Griffin smiled, tipping his head. “She likes you.” He said to Jason.

“Can you get her to like Nathan?” Jason asked, slight worry in his voice.

“Mystic no. It’s safe. Nathan’s a friend.” He paused for a moment. “And so is Will.”

Mystic swung her head around to stare at Nathan. Her dark eyes bore into Nathan’s for several minutes before she bobbed her head, seeming to give him her approval. She turned next to Will, the growl growing once more in her throat.

“Mystic I said no.” Griffin’s voice was stern.

She ignored her master, crouching low to the ground and growling at an increasingly nervous and scared Will. Behind them, Spirit pawed the ground nervously, snorting and shaking his mane. Dusk reared suddenly, his hooves slamming into the ground. Dawn whined, stomping her hooves against the ground. River shook his mane, twitching her tail nervously.

Nathan threw open Dusk’s stall, waving his arms in front of his steed in an effort to calm him. “Whoa! Whoa boy! Down! Dusk what’s gotten into you?!” he cried, anxiety creeping into his voice.

Alice ran down the stairs then, her blond hair coming free of her carefully placed braids. “Nathan? You’re still here? I thought you’d already left!” she rushed towards Nathan, not seeing Mystic nearby.

“Alice wait!” Griffin cried his voice sharp with fear.

Mystic’s dark eyes followed her as she ran by, but the she-dog made no move to attack. Instead she stepped to the side, standing between Alice and Nathan and Griffin and Jason, facing Will.

Griffin stepped forward, pulling at his dog’s collar, his face twisting with pain as he bent down. “Mystic! C’mon girl! Nothing’s wrong! What’s gotten into you? Calm down will ya’?

You’re getting Spirit riled up!”

Mystic snarled, snapping at Griffin. He sprang backwards, his eyes wide with surprise, his mouth a dark ‘o’. Alice saw her now, and tried to inch around the dog, towards her father. Mystic rounded at her, snarling at her. Nathan grabbed her arm and jerked her back, pushing her behind him.

“You’re dog’s gone crazy boy.” Will’s voice shook with fear, his eyes glued to the dog.

Jason’s eyes narrowed. “She only has a problem with you.” He told the stable master.

“What?” his voice was shocked, his eyes darting between Jason and the dog.

“Yesterday she was trying to rip my arm off. She was snarling at Nathan and Anica when they came in. Now she’s perfectly fine with all of us, even Alice. You’d think a crazed dog would have been spooked by her running down the stairs, enough to attack her at least. No. You did something to make her this way.”

Will’s eyes widened slightly. “I haven’t done anything to that dog, nor the horses.” He protested.

Nathan’s eyes widened slightly. “Anica.” Her name slipped from his lips.

“What?” His brown eyes flicked to Nathan.

“I said Anica.” Anger began to grow in Nathan’s voice. “She’s missing. You’ve been acting odd all morning. Granted we do not know you, but you denied us access to leave. You didn’t want us to go looking for Anica. One would think you’d want us gone as fast as possible, we’re intruders in your home.” His eyes darkened with fury. “You did something to her. She’s gone now and I get the feeling that you know why.”

Alice stiffened. “Nathan stop it!” she cried. “My father would never hurt her! How could you accuse him of such a thing?!” Her voice held her own fury.

Griffin looked between Alice, Nathan, Mystic and Will. “Alice…Nathan’s right. I’ve never seen her act like this. Spirit’s excited too. Something would have had to spook the both of them for them to act like this.” He waved his hand towards Dusk and Dawn and River. “And those three are acting the exact same. Nathan and Jason are right. Your father did something.”

Alice turned to him. “Stop it! Stop! Just stop!” Tears had sprung into her eyes. “Father please! Tell them you have nothing to do with this.”

“He can’t do that girl.” A voice came from the shadows in the last stall.



Jason gasped, whipping around. “Gillion!” he cried, fear striking a note in his voice.

The man emerged from the shadows, his deep sunken blue eyes staring out at them. “Can’t run forever Jason.” His eyes slid to Nathan and Alice, who were the closest.

Nathan pushed Alice farther behind him. She whimpered with fear, clinging to his shoulder. “Where is she.” Nathan’s voice was deathly still.

“Who?” Gillion pulled out a knife and ran it along his knuckles, the silver blade flashing in a stream of sunlight.

“Anica!” Nathan snarled, leaping forward suddenly, knocking the weapon from Gillion’s hands.

“Nathan!” Alice cried, trying to grab his arm.

His sudden lunge startled Gillion and for a moment Nathan had him pinned up against the pillar of a stable door, his hands at the man’s throat.

We don’t have a quarrel with your or your people!” he bellowed, shoving Gillion harder against the pillar. “WHERE IS SHE?!”

Griffin’s sharp eyes picked out a sudden movement within the stalls, moving silently but quickly to Nathan. “Nathan look out!” he yelled.

Nathan looked over his shoulder, his hold firm on Gillion. He opened his mouth to speak but never got the chance. The figure that Griffin had picked out sneaking among the shadows darted forward, grabbing Nathan by the back of his collar, pulling him backwards and throwing him to the ground. Light hit his face, revealing a boy with smoky black hair and pale skin. Griffin sucked in his breath, looking between Jason and the boy. There were nearly identical. Or so he thought. The boy raised his head and looked Jason in the eye, and Griffin was able to tell the difference immediately. Jason’s eyes were a bright, welcoming blue. A little cold and darkened with age and the things he’d gone through, but they shone when he laughed and seem to have a burning ember inside them, waiting to be prodded into life. Mile’s however, were dark and full of anger and hate. Nathan shoved his hands against the boy’s stomach, fury lighting his hazel eyes. The boy reared back and drove his fist in to Nathan’s face, hitting his nose with a loud crack. Nathan groaned loudly as the boy whipped out a silver knife, pressing it to his throat.

“Hello brother.” He said to Jason, a sick smile slipping on his face.

“Let him go!” Jason roared, leaping forward.

Griffin grabbed his arms and pulled him back. “Jason! Jason stop it!” Mystic whipped around, snarling at the boy, sinking into a crouch. Griffin looked at her in a panic, trying to maintain his hold on a struggling Jason, pain shooting through his body. “Mystic stop, knife!” the dog eyed the silver blade and dashed to Alice, standing in front of the girl and snarling with frustration.

“Miles release him! Now! He’s got nothing to do with this and you know that! Griffin let me go!”

Griffin struggled against him, meeting Will’s eyes as he fought Jason. His back burned, as if someone had pressed a smoldering branding iron against it. “This is your fault!” he spat, fury smoldering inside him as his pain increased. “You wouldn’t tell us the truth now Nathan could die!”

Will’s eyes were wide with fear and guilt. “I couldn’t just do nothin’!” he protested. “That man there,” he pointed to where Gillion was nursing his throat, his hand trembling. “He said he’d kill Alice if I didn’t give him the girl.”

Alice’s eyes went wide, shinning with what looked like betrayal. Nathan spoke again, his voice shaking with controlled anger and a hint of fear. “Please. She has nothing to do with this. We don’t even know these people. Keep me if you want. Just let her go.”

Gillion walked forward, placing his foot on Nathan’s knee and pressing down on it. “Don’t think that’s part of the plan.” He said calmly as Nathan howled with pain, arching back and trying to jerk himself away. “You see,” he pointed at Jason and Griffin. “They’re part of a prophecy. All that time I spent grooming him and he still turned out bad. Such a shame!”He leaned down and picked up his knife from the floor, sliding it back into its holster. “Now, Jason either you and your friend there can come with me and I’ll release him and his girl, or I can kill this boy,” He stepped down harder on Nathan’s leg, “ kill both girls and still bring you both back to Drake.”

Jason paled and stopped struggling, though Griffin maintained his weakening hold. “Gillion please. They,” he gestured towards Nathan, Will and Alice. “Have nothing to do with this. Neither does Anica.”

Gillion shrugged, smiling his twisted smile. “You’re right they don’t.” he said. “But it’s up to you boy. They’re lives, especially his,” he pointed to Nathan. “Lay in your hands.” He bowed mockingly.

Jason struggled against Griffin again, looking down at his brother and Nathan. Griffin finally released him; sweat building up on his brow. Gasping with pain, he sunk to the floor, leaning against Mystic’s former cage, his eyes half-closed as he struggled to stay conscious. Jason whipped around as Griffin released him, crying out in alarm and dropping beside him, pressing his hand to Griffin’s newly burning forehead.

“No.” Jason said softly, fear caking his voice. “Come on Griffin, get up.” His raised his eyes and looked at his brother, anger boiling inside him once more.

Miles was avoiding Jason’s gaze now, concentrating on the snarling dog next to him. Nathan’s nose was bleeding rapidly and was starting to throb an ugly purple. Alice looked terrified, her hands shaking and her soft brown eyes wide with fear. She inched closer to Jason, trying to put as much distance between her and Gillion as possible.

“Miles!” He screamed. “Miles you worthless traitor look at me!” his brother turned his head aside, trying not to hear Jason’s screams. “Let. Them. Go.” He breathed heavy, the words falling out of his mouth like stones. “Nathan and Anica have got nothing to do with this!” his words rang with a desperate fury. “Let Nathan go. Tell him where Anica is. They have families that need them. PLEASE MILES! I’ve never asked anything of you before! Release them!! On the blood of the Goddess release them!”

Miles looked up then, his eyes dark with a carefully guarded flame. “I have my orders Jace. There’s nothing I can do.” His last words came out in a hushed whisper, the fire in his eyes flickering for a moment to bring forth a lick of desperation.

“Hey now,” Will injected as Jason opened his mouth to speak again, “You promised you’d leave Alice alone if I gave you that girl.”

Gillion drew his lips back in a sneer. “Well I guess I lied.”

Will’s face paled and Jason rounded on him. “I could have told you he was a lying piece of garbage!”

“Jace just come with us.” Miles spoke again. “We won’t have to hurt him if you come with us.”

Nathan groaned a little more. “Don’t do it Jason.” His voice was muffled and full of pain.

Griffin spoke next, forcing his green eyes open. “We don’t have a choice.” He said weakly. “I won’t let you die.”


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131 Reviews


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Sun Jul 27, 2014 3:37 pm
MaryEvans wrote a review...



Revise your opening paragraph. Its ok, but you need it perfect since it’s the start of the chapter.

Alice paused besides him

Word choice. Stopped or halted would be better. Paused is more suited for dialogue or when a character stops a certain activity for a moment. Here she actually stops besides him to talk, not just walks, pauses, continues walking.

Read your dialogue outloud to see if it sounds natural. There are places where your structure is hard to actually speak. People usually go for the easiest route when speaking.

Alice turned away moving gracefully down the hall, entering a room and shutting the door behind her. Nathan turned to Jason shaking his shoulder gently.

In the first sentence there are too many things happening making it kind of awkward. And the second is too sudden. In moments like this you need to slow down, really imagine the scene, think about the characters present, and make them interact naturally, don’t miss a detail, give the reader everything they need to visualize and understand what’s happening. So she walked out. What then? Did silence restore? Did Nathan look around? Stretch? Yawn? This kind of thing. What you have now is just too brief and not too clear.

“Anica has a temper.” He explained as Jason woke Griffin,

No. Show, don’t tell. The follow up is ok. But this is too expository/explanatory.
Still on Anica, why does he repeat the same thing to everyone? I know it might seem essential but think of how to go around it. Else it’s just repetitious and adding to count rather than meaning, the reader already knows this, no need to hammer it in.

Looking at the entire thing, you have a lot of dialogue. Not saying that’s bad, but again read it outloud, see if everything is absolutely necessary and whether or not you can convey it in narration. Find that perfect balance between narration and speech.




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Sat Jul 12, 2014 12:10 am
r4p17 wrote a review...



Knight r4 here for yet another review, Sillia! I am hooked on this work; so when I saw it standing unchallenged and unconquered in the Green Room I decided to challenge it. I hope this helps you. Btw when I read the description I thought, Yipes! I am extremely interested to find out what happens to Anica. Also I so that you put this up as Chapter 3.

Nathan was the first to awake, blinking as sunlight stroked his face, fluttering in from a nearby window.
I don't really picture sunlight as fluttering. I think it would be better to say something like, as his face was bathed in the bright sunlight of the morning sun

He nodded, “That’s a good idea.”
Um, there was no idea in the context here for Nathan to refer to.

He grimed. “Like I was shot in the back.” He looked down at his chest. “Ahh my shirt is still gone I see.”
Hehehe! I like how you added a little bit of humor in here to lighten the mood. But I don't really think that Griffin would feel well enough to get up and move around just yet.

“We’ll all the same, your daughter asked us to look for her, and that’s what we’re going to do.”
I am glad to see that Jason has some integrity! Oh and btw you don't need an apostrophe.

Alice has grown quite found of Anica.
All the more reason to go after Anica! But I must say that I don't really understand how Alice could grow fond of someone who she's only known a few hours!

She turned next to Will, the growl growing once more in her throat.
Is this foreshadowing. I have a feeling that it is. It see the plot thickening!

“Anica!” He snarled, leaping forward suddenly, knocking the weapon from his hands.
Based on the context I know who you are talking about though your pronoun antecedent agreement is rather jumbled here. You need to use the character's names.

His suddenly lunge startled Gillion and for a moment Nathan had him pinned up against the pillar of a stable door, his hands at the man’s throat.
I think you meant to say sudden instead of suddenly here.

Griffin struggled against him, meeting Will’s eyes as he fought Jason.
After being shot I don't think that I could hold some one else back!

I would dwell more on your weak pronoun usage, but this was so filled with action that, that is more of a minor thing. I can't wait to see what will happen. My only concern is that this is only chapter four, and you have already had a ton of action. I like this book so far but I think that you need to slow it down a little. However I commend you for the decent length of your chapters which kind of makes up for that. Happy writing!!! :D




Sillia says...


Thank you for your review!! I appreciate your constant help towards my story!!! And things will slow down after this chapter, but I jut wanted to get some things out of the way. Thanks for your input on Griffin. -nods- that needs to be changed. the part about Anica and Alice i'll edit maybe to say she likes her alot as a oerson so far or something along those lines. I really do appreciate the constant reviews, as I do intend to publish this work IRL I'm working on chapter 5 so you may have to wait a day or two to be able to get enough points and finish the chapter. Also, the per about the "good idea" I originally had Alice asking them to go find Anica. I don't know how that got cut out but I'll be sure to fix it, thanks for pointing it out.

- Sillia




The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitudes.
— Viktor Frankl