My Fault-Chapter 1

by shazzaa187

Published June 17, 2014

16+ Language Mature Content

In My Fault

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and mature content.

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I yawned, stretching my arms out before letting out a sigh as I slumped back onto my bed. Another day to face.

Pulling back the covers, I climbed out of bed and headed straight for the en suite bathroom. Flipping the shower on, I quickly got undressed and stepped in, hissing slightly when it was too cold. Adjusting the temperature, I washed myself and my hair before stepping out. Pulling a towel around me, I went over to the mirror and brushed my teeth and washed my face.

"Mel! Hurry up! You're not the only one who has priorities, you know?"

I rolled my eyes at my reflection. "Two minutes, Cade," I told her.

I heard a sigh from the other side of the door, followed by a mumble which sounded like, "You say that every morning," before her footsteps retreated down the hall.

I laughed at her comment before I put moisturiser on my face and dried my hair.

"Free!" I yelled as I walked back into my room. Going straight to my closet, I pulled out my school uniform. A black skirt, red tie and white shirt along with a black cardigan to go over it.

"Melissa! Cadence! Pancakes are ready!" Mum called.

I smiled, grabbing my black heels and rushing out of my room and down the stairs. I could hear heavy footsteps behind me and knew that Cadence was close behind.

A hand gripped my arm and shoved me to the side. "Move!" Cadence exclaimed as she rushed by me.

"No chance, hun," I laughed, grabbing the collar of her compulsory blazer and tugging her to a stand still whilst I rushed in front of her.

"Mel!" she yelled through a laugh.

I giggled. "Snooze you loose," I said, turning to stick my tongue out at her. She raced past me as I'd stopped. "Hey!" I cried, running forward to catch up with her whilst she laughed her head off. "Cade, you are so going to get it!" I said, following her as she ran into the living room. I smiled as she slowed down to weave between the coffee table and the seatee. Speeding up, I shoved her onto the sofa and laughed, straddling her as I tickled her.

"Mel! Stop it!" she choked through her giggles.

"Never!" I shouted in a battle cry as I tickled her more. She twisted and squirmed underneath me but couldn't escape.

"Mum!" she yelled.

"Melissa, get off of her," Mum sighed, appearing in the doorway. Her face was void of emotion as she glared at Cadence, making me sigh and stand up, releasing Cade from my grasp. Some would never guess that me and Cade were sisters. She was just hitting five foot with brown hair and hazel eyes which she got from dad. In comparison, I was only one inch taller than her at 5"1 but other than that, we differed greatly. I was the complete opposite of Cadence, with my naturally bleach blonde hair and blue eyes which I'd obtained from my mother. Cadence, though, had light brown hair and hazel eyes in comparison. In addition to that, we both had completely different personalities. For example, whilst I'd gone for a nice natural look for my make up and had a nice, plain French manicure on my nails, Cadence had gone all out. She'd got pink eye shadow on and dark pink lipstick, along with thick black eye liner that winged out at the sides as well as block black nail varnish. I had gone with no tights and nice, black heels which were just a plain, shiny black and four or so inches tall. On the other hand, Cadence had black fishnet tights on along with a pair of black combat boots. For jewellery, I had on a Pandora bracelet on my right arm, a Pandora crown ring on my middle finger, a nomination bracelet on my left arm and a pair of Pandora crown studs that matched my ring and one of the charms on my bracelet. Looking at Cadence, she had black bangles lining her arms, along with those black rubber band things, she then had on a pair of black studs in her ears.

Mum and Dad despised Cadence for this. I think that it wasn't the fact that she wasn't afraid to be who she was that they hated, but they hated who she was in general. Cadence wasn't one of those who grades came easy too. She struggled every day to maintain a grade C, which is what she would need in her upcoming exams to have any chance of getting into college or sixth form. I felt extremely guilty for this because I passed through all of my exams with A-stars. I took everything in and barely even had to revise, but Cadence struggles every day and I hate it. Cadence would always be chastised for just being herself. Whilst I was the perfect child, Cadence was constantly grounded for not passing an end of term paper, or getting home a few minutes after curfew. We both hate it because we know that if it was me in that position, they would let me off without so much as a warning. I mean, yeah, if I was to start doing drugs or something extreme they would probably tell me off, but then they would most likely apologize for being "too harsh" and tell me that "I know better" and "shouldn't get involved in things like that". It was all unfair but there was nothing that we could do about it, they were our parents and, until we were at least 18, they were in charge.

"Come on, your pancakes are going to be cold by now," she said, turning and walking into the kitchen. Cadence turned to me and made a face, mocking her, making me laugh before we followed her into the kitchen. "Cadence," mum sighed, placing the plate of pancakes in the microwave and shutting the door as we sat down at the island in the middle of the room, "how many times do I have to tell you that those shoes are not appropriate for school?"

Cadence thought for a moment, twisting her lips and moving her jaw side to side before she said,"Well, to be honest Mother, once should be enough for you to know that I'm not going to listen, maybe twice, just to make sure that you know."

Mum tapped her foot on the floor, crossing her arms as we all waited for the pancakes to warm up. "I have told you twice already and that's just this week!"

Cadence smirked at me, folding her hands on the table. "Third's a charm," she commented, the words coming out slightly choked as she was obviously trying not to laugh. I smiled, holding my hand over her mouth.

Mum turned to me, her glare softening. "Melissa honey, please don't encourage her. I've told her enough times and I don't need people egging her on."

I sighed, looking down at my lap. "Sorry mum," I mumbled, my cheeks reddening.

I heard her sigh. "It's fine, honey."

"Sorry mum," I heard Cade's voice mock, making me let out a small giggle.

"Cadence!" Mum snapped, just before the microwave let out a Ding! letting us know that the pancakes were now warm. She took the plate out of the microwave and placed them on the table between us. Before I could even blink, Cadence had dived forward and grabbed half of the pile with her hands, placing them on the marble of the island. "Cadence! Couldn't you've waited for me to get you a plate and knife and fork?" Mum exclaimed, slamming two plates on the table along with two pairs of knives and forks.

Cadence shrugged. "Too hungry to care," she said, rolling one up and folding it over once before she shoved the whole thing into her mouth.

"For Christ's sake, Cadence! You would've been waiting two seconds! Why can't you be more like-"

"Stop," Cadence said calmly. "Let me finish that off for you. Why couldn't I be more like Melissa?" she said in a bored voice, making me tense up slightly. "Look at how she is sitting nicely, waiting for dear old mummy to bring her and knife and fork and a plate. How she is waiting for mummy to serve her pancakes for her and wait on her day and night. Oh why, oh why can I not be more like my beloved sister who is perfect in every single aspect whilst I am the exact opposite?" I bit my bottom lip, worried by the look on mum's face. "Oh the horror!" Cadence added to the end, flopping back in her seat and placing the back of her hand on her forehead, mocking feeling faint. I let out a small giggle but quickly shut up when mum's eyes flickered to me.

"Cadence Maria Walker, how dare you-" she was interrupted by a car horn.

"Saved by the bell! Never thought the phrase would be so literal!" Cadence laughed as she jumped from her chair and ran to the front door, grabbing her bag from the coat rack. I followed closely behind, slipping my shoes on and then pulling my new, silver River Island bag onto my shoulder as I headed out of the door, calling a quick "bye" to Mum before I shut it behind me.

"I love you so freaking much at the moment CamCam!" I heard Cadence exclaimed as I turned round. I giggled when I saw her hugging him tightly whilst he just lent against the passenger door, unsure of what to do. "Well, hug me back you big idiot," Cadence muttered, smiling widely when he wrapped his arms around her lightly. "See! I don't bite!"

"Much," I heard Cameron mumbled, making Cadence frown and pull back from him.

"Are you scared of me?" she asked, watching him closely with her eyes narrowed. He said nothing, which only seemed to prove her point. "Oh my God! You are! Mel, can you please tell your boyfriend here that I am not a scary person?"

I smiled. "Sorry Cadence, I've told him time and time again but he doesn't believe me."

"Well, tell him again," she pouted. I laughed, walking towards Cam and smiling at his appearance. He had on the same uniform as me but had a jumper instead of a cardigan and trousers instead of a skirt. Cam was tall. And by tall I meant like 5"9 to 6 foot. He had this sandy brown hair and light brown eyes which looked really cute against his olive skin.

"Cammy," I said, walking up to him and leaning my body on his, "Cadence is not scary. She's not going to hurt you," I told him, smiling as I looked up at him.

He smirked. "Use my actual name and I might believe you a little."

"Cameron, Cadence is not a person to be scared of," I told him again.

He shook his head. "Nope, still don't believe you."

I turned to Cadence and shrugged at her, smiling as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Sorry Cade, he won't budge."

"Wow Mel, I hope you're happy marrying a wimp," she said, smirking.

I rolled my eyes. "Who said anything about marriage?"

"I like marriage," Cam said, wrapping his arms around me.

I turned to look up at him and gave him a small peck on the lips before saying, "Babe, I'm way too young and in five years you'll probably be shagging some other poor soul." I smiled before pushing myself to standing and moving next to him, rocking my hip to the side to move him out of the way.

"Shotgun!" Cadence exclaimed, making me groan.

"You always sit in the front."

"Snooze you loose," she snickered using my words from earlier against me.

I rolled my eyes before flipping the seat forward and sliding into the back. Cam and Cadence quickly got into the car after me and Cam began the fifteen minute drive to school.

"So Cade," I said, trying to fill the empty silence, "how's things with you and Johnny boy?"

She scowled at me through the side mirror. "I've told you not to call him that," she muttered, making me smirk, "and it's not going anywhere!" she huffed, throwing her arms up before crossing them over her chest.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "What do you mean? Last I checked, you two were getting very cosy."

She rolled her eyes. "I know. I mean, he's kissed me a couple times and I stayed at his once or twice but-"

"Please say that you're still a virgin," I begged.

She turned to look at me in disbelief. "Don't sound so disgusted, I'm not a whore. Does mum know that you've lost your's yet?" I stayed silent, my cheeks going red. "I see."

"What?" Cam asked from the driver's seat, making my cheeks redden further.

"Seriously? You haven't told him either? Unbelievable," she said, though she was laughing slightly and so obviously found the whole thing very humurous.

"What's she talking about Mel?" Cam asked, looking at me through the rear view mirror.

"I-"

"Dear Mel here," Cadence said, cutting me off, "still possesses her precious virginity."

"Seriously?" Cam asked, though he didn't look as surprised as I thought he would, he actually looked like he'd just been told a really cool fact which he found interesting but couldn't really be arsed to find a proper reply.

"Now, the reason that I am surprised dear Cammy is that you haven't stuck it in her yet," Cadence said bluntly.

"Cade!" I exclaimed, turning red again.

She turned to look round her chair at me, dread written all over her face as she said, "Please don't tell me that you're going Christian and are going to wait until marriage?"

"Are we seriously talking about marriage again? Jesus Christ! I'm 16! Not 40! As if I'm going to wait until marriage. I wait until I'm married, I'm going to end up a 70 year old virgin cat lady!" I exclaimed. "Stuff that, I'd rather have sex in this car."

"Then do it!" Cadence said, shrugging as she looked between me and Cam.

"No!" we both said at the same time.

"We have school to get to!" I argued.

"It'd ruin my seats!" Cam exclaimed. Both me and Cade stared at him, making him turn red. "I... I mean, it wouldn't be romantic. It'd be her first time r-right? It should be special and n-not some quickie in a c-car."

"Better," both me and Cadence said, turning to look out of the window in sync.

"God, you two put me on edge," Cam mumbled, making us both laugh.

We turned up at school a few minutes later and we all climbed out of the car.

"We'll come down to your cafeteria for lunch," I told her. We were both in different building because I was in year 12, which was sixth form and she was only in year 11, which was still secondary school.

"Seriously?" she asked, her eyes lighting up.

I shrugged. "Why not? I still got to meet Johnny boy and slap some sense into him."

"Oh God Mel, don't," she said, but she was laughing.

"Why? He needs to get to it and make you his. Beating around the bush isn't going to get that done now, is it?" I asked, smiling.

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, see you then."

"Bye," I said, climbing back into Cam's car as he drove us to the sixth form block, parking in front of the willow tree where all of our friends hung about.

"Ready?" he asked, reaching over the console and grabbing my hands. I nodded my head, biting my lip. He smiled, leaning over and kissed me slowly. "Let's go then."

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
Cynder
Review
Cynder wrote a review Review · Jun 29, 2014

Hey! Cynder ready to review. I pove the theme of the story, or at least how. i perceive the theme to be. The main character's attitude is one of my favorite aspects of your story. I think that you have very much stayed to the point with the story and yet portrayed your point without being bland. Very skillful, I would say. However, if I were to say that anything was not as good as it could be, there were a few things. One of those paragraphs was very long and I think it should be shortened somehow. Putting the paragraph that way also loses the reader's attention. Next, I felt. i needed more of a connection to Cam. I could faintly see the love between Mel and him, but the introduction of a character is one of the most important aspects of a story, and I think you lacked in that department a little. Now, these are only tweaks, but I think they will greatly improve your story. Overall, I loved the story and I want to read more. Thank you for the beginning of a wonderful journey.

User avatar
Noelle
Review
Noelle wrote a review Review · Jun 20, 2014

Hi there!

I let out a laugh at her before I put moisturizer on my face and dried my hair.

Usually when someone "lets out a laugh" it's just a laugh. If it's directed at someone specific, you'd say that that person laughed at [insert name here]. So I'd suggest replacing the beginning of the sentence with something like "I laughed at her comment". That seems more natural.

"Two minutes Cade," I told her.

Whenever you use someone's name like this you have to put a comma before their name. It's the whole "Let's eat Grandma" versus "Let's eat, Grandma" thing.

You've got a good start here. One thing I think is very important in first chapters to introduce characters. If we're not introduced to the characters I feel like there's something missing. But not here. We get a good look at Melissa and Cadence (cool name by the way) and their relationship. I like how you made them the stereotypical siblings. Usually writers try to stay away from stereotypes and cliches, but I think it's good that you made Cadence and Mel the stereotypical "good and bad" siblings. Mel is the older sibling who gets perfect grades while Cadence is a bit younger and struggles through school. They're so different from each other, but are super close. So that's an interesting relationship to follow.

So if there was anything I could really say about this chapter it's that there is a lot of dialogue. The dialogue gives us a lot of information, but at the same time it's a lot. Give us some description as well, some narration too. You did a good job with the narration at the beginning of this chapter, but by the end it's nearly gone. Surely Mel has a lot of thoughts about what's going on. Try to add some more of that.

I'll surely read some more when you post it! And I hope you figure out a title for this novel as well.

Keep writing!
**Noelle**

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WillowPaw1
Review
WillowPaw1 wrote a review Review · Jun 17, 2014

Hello! Welcome to YWS!

First off - ignore my age, I know everything you said already and I'm just going to focus on everything but that. Kay? Okay.

I yawned, stretching my arms out before letting out a sigh as I slumped back onto my bed. Another day to face.


I find this a very cliché way to start a story. Maybe you could just make it start with her going to the kitchen to eat and then start it off from there. But please... Not this. I'm glad though you didn't do an alarm clock ;) (thank goodness!)

"Mel! Hurry up! You;re not the only one who has priorities, you know?"

Small typo, *you're

I smiled. "Sorry Cadence, I've told him time and time again but he doesn't believe me."


I think it would sound better as "I've told him over and over again, ....."


Okay, I also noticed you never capitalized Mum or Dad, unless they were at the beginning of a sentence. Remember, you always capitalize it unless it has my/your/our/her/his/their etc in front of it.

There big paragraph where she was describing herself and Cade bothered me. I really think you should write about her slowly, so in each chapter it gives a little more info. You know? Like instead of putting it all in one huge paragraph, it will be spread out and less overused.

My last point of criticism: what's the title? There's a chapter 1 title thing, but nothing else.

I like your characters so far, though. I like how Mel's the perfect one, and not her sister. Usually, stories are always just like "I'm totally not perfect and I'm ugly" etc etc, but this is a nice fresh switch.

I also like your style of writing. It's easy to follow and interesting, and I never got bored when I was reading the story.

Lastly, I love the length of this. It's not too long that I just decide to quit reading, but it's not just three paragraphs either. BUT, there's a lot of information too that could be spread out through out other chapters, so that might just be a great factor of the length of the chapter.

Anyways, keep writing! I hope this helps! Please tell me when the next chapter is out!

Thanks!

~WillowPaw1~



Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.
— Ann Landers