z

Young Writers Society


12+ Violence

Chapters 4-6 of the Z.A.A.C. Initiative

by SkyeWalker, CuriosityCat, ForeverWarrior


(Chapter 4)

Zhia’s POV

“NO! Just NO!” I growl, giving Bellatrix and Selene the stink-eye.

This is my reaction when I am told the news: for whatever reason, my friends and I are being booted off to school.

"Back home was bad enough, but HERE?! SERIOUSLY?! We get zapped a bajillion years in the past and we still have to go to school?"

Selene looks at me, exasperated. “It wasn’t that bad, Zhia."

“Are you kidding me? It was horrible!”

"Well, Tony already enrolled us, OK? We legally have to go now," Bellatrix points out, not sounding too thrilled herself.

And so, not without much complaint, I was dragged away to school. We were given normal clothes from the past, because our tattered black clothes that we wore though a wormhole and several S.H.I.E.L.D. heli-carrier windows are going to be maybe a bit conspicuous in a public school. 

It's pretty late in the morning already, so Tony got someone to drive us. Selene reported before we left that we'd be taking the bus starting tomorrow. A large limo slides into the car loop in the front of the school, depositing us in front of some ominous tinted double doors. As soon as I entered the main office, a smiling lady with literally about a gallon of makeup on waved us in.

“Hello! How are you? Are you new here?” she giggles, in a sicky-sweet voice. Her tone is so PATRONIZING. I instantly hate her.

Bellatrix handles this one, because Selene and I are not liking this lady at all.

“Yes we are, thank you. Have you gotten information from Tony about our registration?” She uses her cute face on the office lady. She talks a certain way, and makes herself look younger than she is, and adults just lap it up. She tends to use it to charm  grown-ups who she needs stuff from (as well as cops), and it always works. This time is no different. 

Weird Desk Lady smiles and giggles, “Oh yes, you little sweethearts!" Selene discreetly turns around and pulls a face like she's gagging. 

"Here is your schedule, third period is next! Hurry along to your classes, now!”

We're now all irked, for two reasons: She called us sweethearts (ugh) and then she told us to hurry along. Come on, woman, we’re not BABIES! Even Bellatrix's "cute face" is faltering.

"Thank you! Bye!" Selene interrupts, taking over control and shoving us out the door before Bellatrix and I totally blow our tops at this lady.

We jog through a eerily empty maze of halls to the room that is supposed to be third period, and wait nervously outside the door. For about 20 FREAKING MINUTES. Once I sit down, I start to think about this place to keep my mind off of the wait. It is supposed to be a middle school, which means it only has 3 ages of kids in it. It's a bit of a shock after Z.A.C., where we were all crowded in together. Also, I don't know anyone. Are people going to be totally different here? Will they all be as annoying as Tony, or worse?

Selene looses patience first. “You know, I am really starting to wonder when this bell is going to-”

BRRRRRRIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG!

Bellatrix and I are too busy laughing to notice that people were walking into the classroom. Selene kicks our shins and looks pointedly to the classroom.

“Oh!” I exclaim, feeling more than a little stupid, and rush inside. The others follow suit.

Once inside, the teacher greets us with a smile and a “Hello there, girls!"

Then she leans in, smiling a little less, and asks, "Are you the new, um, exchange students, dears?”

Is it just me, or are all of these teachers overly sweet?

“Yes, we are,” Bellatrix says. The sweet voice may have died today. Now she just sounds normal and slightly worried.

“Ok! Do you have your iPads yet?”

We all give her a confused look. “Um, iPads?” said Selene, tilting her head like a bewildered puppy.

“Ohhhhhh. I forgot! I am so sorry!”

I turn to glare at the chuckling students behind me. They fall silent. I see Selene and Bellatrix suppressing their own giggles.

“Here: now go sit down in the empty seats.”

She hands us each a dark plastic square that has three or four buttons stuck to the sides. I have no idea what this weird little thing does, but that's probably to be expected. Z.A.C. didn't bother restoring much past technology that won't save your life in battle. I try to turn it on, but can't. Still, I decide not to mention it to anyone. No sense embarrassing myself more than I have already.

So we go and sit down in the three seats left. The bell rings again, and the rest of the period passes in boredom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zhia's POV

Lunch comes. I eat the lunch that I arranged (PBJ and apple slices, which is kind of a luxury back at home) quickly, to be able to go outside, which seems to be the most interesting part about this place. So outside I go.

I stride through the other students, who clear a path and stare at me nervously. I feel a little proud. First day here and people are already showing me some respect... or are they staring past me?

“Hey, you!”

I turn around, totally unfazed.

“Yes?”

“What’s your name?!”

“What makes you think that I will tell you?”

He turns red for a minute at being stood up to, his two brain cells probably working out something like, Wait a second! That wasn't in the script! A crowd of students starts to form around us. He notices them and fights to regain his composure.

“Why? Because I told you to!”

“I’m sorry, that doesn’t seem like much of a threat.

“Listen here, little girl, you apparently know nothing about how things work around here. I ask for something, you give it.”

“A bully, huh? I know how to deal with you people.”

“Listen! Give me your name, little miss genius, or things WILL get messy!”

“Oh, I’m willing to let things get messy,” I say with a smirk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Selene’s POV

“Oh, I’m willing to let things get messy,” I hear Zhia say from the other side of the basketball court.

We came out the swinging double doors just after our friend, and we already could hear the tension out here. The huge stone building, with it's dark-tinted windows, siphons the sound away from the basketball court like a megaphone.

“You hear that?” I ask Bellatrix, “Sounds like a fight's starting, and Zhia forgot to invite us. We might've missed the end if we hadn't heard.” I feign disappointment.

She grins and replies, “Ha! We already know who’s going to win. Let’s go watch!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zhia’s POV

“FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!” I hear the students chant.

“You’re gonna be an easy fight, little genius,” The bully scoffs.

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” My voice sounds calm. How am I staying this calm?!

He makes the first move, a clumsy punch. I easily dodge. I then counter with a series of quick punches and a kick to push him away. Someone whistles. I smirk, yet again. His big, red face contorts in rage, furious that he was being beaten by a girl.

“Give it up, Mitchell, she’s not worth it! She’s too strong!”

He  whirls around in the direction of the voice. “TOO STRONG?! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! “TOO STRONG”?! NO ONE IS TOO STRONG FOR ME!”

While he was distracted with yelling, I blew him off of his feet in a rather extravagant manner with my foot. Mitchell (what kind of name is that?) flew into the air and landed on his back, hard.

“Never underestimate your opponent, little Mitchell. It will never end well,” I whisper into his ear. He nods quickly, petrified, and I push my way out of the mob of students. I hear some of the people giggle a little, and Mitchell scramble into an sitting position. The crowd disperses behind my back, muttering.

Suddenly, just as I am about to walk back into the building, I hear screams. Screams, and a sickening crunch of bone that I know all too well.

(Chapter 5)

Bellatrix’s POV

I will be haunted forever by that scream. Even at Z.A.C, I had never heard anyone scream like that. Not even if they were dying or being tortured.

I push back through the crowd to find that Zhia is already there, kneeling gently over the same bully that attacked her. He lies there, covered in blood, his arms limp and flat, and his body twisted into a shape that seemed impossible.

“He’s dead," someone whispers, a quiet breath that can barely be heard.

It's true. There are claw marks all over him. The weird thing is that are so thin that you can barely see them. Yet they are so deep that they appeared to have killed him in about 5 seconds.

“He’s dead!” Selene yells so loudly that you could hear her from Stark Tower. 

Teachers swarm around and yell into the screaming mob for silence. Then they start demanding information. I glance back at Zhia. Something is wrong here, worse than some poor kid's death. She looks past scared and shocked, and more like hysterical.

“Chitauri.” This came out as another whisper, one so quiet I thought I had misheard. I suddenly realize Zhia had said it. She whimpers loudly, and a tear drops on the tarmac of the court. Then she bolts, pushing out of the mob and running as fast as her legs could take her (which is actually extremely fast. Having the powers of the wind has it’s uses).

Selene steps forward to go after her, but I grab her shoulder and shake my head.

”No.”

Zhia’s POV

“Dead... Dead... DEAD!” The word keeps on replaying over and over in my head.

“Dead... Like your parents... Like your sister... The sister that YOU killed...”

“NO!” I clutch my head in pain and remember...

*Flashback*

A happy little girl, playing in a field

A set of screams, 

a fire, 

an explosion

A girl clutching the dead bodies of her parents, a toddler hovering beside her

Leading her sister, the toddler, into the forest

The zombie apocalypse

Seeing the sister turn

A grief-forsaken girl running away from the corpse of the toddler...

...A katana sticking out of the mutated child's body

“NO!”

The dream of a metal alien with a sword

“Chitauri... I will get revenge...”

Waking up in a lab

Needles piercing everywhere

I cringe in remembered pain.

Testing the power

The final realization

I AM ALONE!!!

*Back to present*

I am sobbing as I run. I thought nothing could hurt me anymore. Nothing!

“NO!” I scream.

I use my powers to levitate up to the top of the nearest tree.

And there I stay.

Selene’s POV

Where did she go? I mean Zhia was attacked by that boy, Mitchell, so why is she so upset that he was gone? I mean, he didn't deserve to die, sure, but it wasn't like WE had died. She barely knew him, and the for the entire five minutes she did, he was a total jerk!

"Well, I guess that we should go find her... even if it means getting blown off of a cliff."

We (Bellatrix and I) race towards the spot where Zhia was last. We follow her trail, until we see the dirt was blown up around us. You know in cartoons when someone runs so fast a dust trail blows up behind them? Well Zhia just made a dust trail. She can go REALLY fast. Air powers help, I guess. Ever heard the expression "She runs like the wind?"

Suddenly, I look up and see her, crying in the boughs of the highest tree.

"ZHIA!" I call excitedly, happy to have found her.

Immediatly, a hugely powerful gust of wind blows us back, about twenty feet. We struggle forwards, but it isn't easy. Another blast of air grabs us and throws us. We get buffeted around so hard we can barely stand. Soon, a huge windstorm is steadily blasting us, whipping us around, radiating from a small, dark figure huddled in the branches of the tree: Zhia.

“What do you want?!" she screams over her storm, her voice cracking.

“We want answers!" I yell at her, "Who are you, Zhia? WHO ARE YOU?!”

The storm stops, the air settling so fast, it's like time has stopped. Everything is perfectly still. She glares at us through a tear-streaked face. She floats down, wiping her eyes on her sweater sleeve.

“Fine," she says painfully. "This is my story…”

(Chapter 6)

Zhia’s POV

“When I was little, around eight, I was a normal, happy child. But that all changed a year later, when the Zombie Apocalypse started. I was only 9 years old."

I hear that fatal conversation all over again:

“Mom!”

”Yes, sweetie?”

”I’m going out to the field to play!”

“I would always go out to the flower field behind our house to play. It was a perfect place, where calm, light breezes would always blow my hair around, mingling it along with the long grasses that grew there. But one day while I was out, I heard an explosion, and saw a ship or plane soar off in speeds that I thought were impossible.”

"Mom! MOM! Where are you?! DAD! SARAH!”

“Sarah was my little sister. She was two when this all started.

“We had to flee that place. We fled into the woods, but were attacked by zombies. We didn’t know beforehand that the Apocalypse had started. I fought for both of our lives, and we luckily made it out - that time.

“About a month later, I went out, leaving my sister in the small shelter that I built. I went hunting, but when I went, I saw a tree with a mark on it. The mark was two crossed swords… no, not swords," I paused, thinking. "They were definitely katanas. Anyway, I ran back to my shelter, grabbed the rusty axe that was left there, and ran to the tree. I cut it down, and found my current weapons, my dual katanas.”

“And I always wondered why they had wood chips in them...” Bellatrix murmured.

I glare.

"Kidding!" she cried, raising her hands in an I surrender motion.

“Listen, do you want to hear my story, or not?”

“Sorry.”

“Anyway, I went back. Surviving for another year, training with my katanas every morning. I was ten, and my sister was three. I had started training her with the bow and arrow, and she was a natural at it.

“Another year, and we were basically becoming wild children. Hunting for our food, killing zombies, and so on. I was a master with my dual katanas, and my sister was an excellent four year old archer.

"But one day, I went out on my own. I stayed out for about an hour, but when I came back, my sister was gone. Not disappeared, but gone. Changed into the very thing that took most of human life as we knew it away, including our own parents. I was forced to kill her! I had to stab her in the heart. I killed her quickly, but it was more like stabbing myself. Those zombies were shattering my already glass-like heart and spreading it across the floor. I crafted a small necklace out of one of Sarah's arrowheads." Shined with my tears, melted with my anger and my sorrow, I think bitterly. "It is on the necklace that you always wondered about.”

“I survived on my own for a few more years, slowly going insane. When I was thirteen, I was captured, and taken to a zombie stronghold. I was tested on, forced to experience the memories that nearly killed me. Again and again and again and again. Do you understand me, Selene? Bellatrix? I had to relive those thoughts constantly. FOR YEARS. But I, with my newfound strength, broke out, found my weapons, and fled into the woods. I was back to my surviving ways.

“I decided that I would get revenge for my sister. Sweet, loving little Sarah. So I let loose my rage on the zombie camp, the one you were set on a mission to destroy. That was when you found me in the middle of the burning ruins. Remember? I was crying. Then, because the zombies weren't enough, I had to let let loose my rage on you two, on Mici, and on Xavier. You know the rest.”

By this time, I was silently crying. I had told no one about this, not even my friends, until now. Selene was looking at me with horror and sadness, and Bellatrix’s hand was on fire, slowly burning a sad purple, flickering with each time she blinked. I hiccuped, feeling pathetic.

“What are you, the Human Torch?” muttered Selene to Bellatrix. "Extinguish your stupid hand."

We burst out in feeble laughter, making us all feel better.

“I swear, Zhia,” Bellatrix replied, “We, together, as a team, will destroy them.”

“Yes, we will, but we first have to get out of this place,” Selene said, now solemn, looking around. "This isn't where we belong."


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324 Reviews


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Tue May 20, 2014 2:47 pm
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Evander wrote a review...



Hello,

Raven here for a review.

Nitpicks!

a smiling(too much) lady with TONS of makeup on waved us in.

Space between the left parentheses and 'smiling'.

“Yes, we are(Bellatrix again).”

How about you change that too: Bellatrix spoke again, "Yes, we are."
Bellatrix was speaking, right? Because that part a dialogue was very confusing.

We ran to third period, and waited outside the door. For 20 MINUTES.

Okay, in this chapter you use CAPS a lot. Unless it is for a title, like : Z.A.A.C.
I would recommend using italics to emphasize words.

A happy little girl, playing in a field

I had a problem with this part in the chapter. You forget to put a period at the end of the sentence.

“BRRRRRRIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG!”

Now this part confused me, can the school bell talk? Is it another supernatural part of your story? I would just simply say: The school bell rang loudly.

We (Bellatrix and I) race towards the spot where Zhia was last.

While that is acceptable, I would do this: Bellatrix and I race towards the spot Zhia was last.

Again, I shall say your story is mostly dialogue. While the plot is interesting, reading all dialogue is a bore.

And as Niraco said, if you add more description and take out some unnecessary dialogue this would be a lot better!

Keep on typing,

Raven,




Zhia says...


About the period thing%u2026 It's not supposed to be there. and ok.



Evander says...


Okay!



CuriosityCat says...


Hey, Raven! I've just edited this a bunch, so would you mind doing a reread? :) Thanks!

P.S.: @RavenMoonStone Sorry, that was just to get your attention. :P



Evander says...


I re-read it.



Zhia says...


TYTYTYTYTYTY SO MUCH FOR EDITING!!! It is so much better now!!



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Tue May 20, 2014 9:57 am
Niraco wrote a review...



Hello there, now I haven’t read the previous chapters but I will try my best to review regardless. Let’s dive right in shall we?

“NO! Just NO!”
That is what I say when I am told I have to go to school. It was already bad enough at Z.A.C, and HERE? In the PAST?! NO!
Selene looks at me. “It wasn’t that bad, Zhia.”
“Are you kidding me? It was horrible!”
And so, with much complaint, I was dragged to school. As soon as I entered the main office, a smiling(too much) lady with TONS of makeup on waved us in.
“Hello! Are you new here?”
Bellatrix handles this one, because Selene and I are not liking this lady at all.
“Yes we are, thank you, and you must have received information from Tony about our registration?”

I’ll be honest this was pretty boring to read. Perhaps it is because I haven’t read the other chapters but I just couldn’t enjoy these characters. They seem rather bland and very agunsty. Also as I read this I found there to be a lot of dialogue which was rather difficult to read. I suggest adding a lot more description as it will make your story much, much better to read.
Bellatrix and I were too busy laughing at the classic(and comical)scene that took place to notice that people were walking into the classroom. Selene kicks our shins and looks pointedly to the classroom.

Another thing I noticed as I read this was you use a lot of unneeded parenthesis. The parts in brackets seemed like they could have just been added to the sentence and didn’t need to be in brackets. Brackets are used for extra information. When taken out the sentence still makes sense. Which is what you did but I felt that the parenthesis wasn’t needed at all.
Lunch comes. I eat the lunch that I arranged quite quickly, to be able to go outside. And outside I go.
I stride through the other students, who stare at me nervously... or are they staring past me?
“Hey, you!”
I turn with a smirk.
“Yes?”
“What’s your name?!”
“What makes you think that I will tell you?”


I’m really sorry to say that this is all I got up to. I just found that everything moved very slowly and that it was very boring. I just couldn’t get into this chapter and couldn’t continue.
Judging by this chapter I wouldn’t go back and read the rest of your story. As harsh as this may seem there is one thing I like. That is the chemistry your characters share. While the dialogue may be over used and unneeded at times I still found their interactions to be pleasant at best.
So my suggestion is to go back and try this again. Add more description and bigger paragraphs.
I understand if you feel that I am being very harsh but I cannot bring myself not to talk about what is bad with your piece. It just needs work as many other writings do. Just keep at it. Expand the way you describe things and you’ll improve within no time
:D




CuriosityCat says...


BLAND?!?! Sorry, I AM one of those BLAND character, and the angst might have SOMETHING to do with the fact that they lived in post-apocalyptic ZOMBIE WORLD all their lives and were then sucked into the past spontaneously, leaving everyone they know and love BEHIND.



Evander says...


Cat, calm down.



Zhia says...


I sort of agree with Cat. My username signifies that I am Zhia and if you knew me, I am not "bland".



Niraco says...


I did not mean to cause any offense. Like I said before, I haven't read the rest of the novel and didn't get very far in reading this. Perhaps in other chapters they're not bland but based on what I read they were.



Zhia says...


I am also sorry. I was having a bad day yesterday and I took it out on you. @CuriosityCat is sorry too (hint hint CAT)



Reneia says...


I am honestly apologizing for this comment. I was a bit stupid a year ago. I hadn't really had much actual critique on any of my stories before. *shrugs* So yeah. XD I like your avatar though!



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Mon May 19, 2014 11:28 pm
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Pinkiegirl13 says...



Hi, this is pinkie. This is my review.

I love your story. You bring the character to real life. I love how you told the back story of the characters. I enjoyed this story very much. I think you are wonderful writer and grow up to be a famous writer. I like this story very much

These was pinkie and these are your review.




Zhia says...


Thank you. I am truly flattered! :D




Who knew paper and ink could be so vicious.
— Kathryn Stockett, The Help