Young Writers Society

Thank you. Thank you for using dialogue for the opening. I love these kind of media res openings. Yay.

‘Pens down boys. Did you hear me Johnson? You won’t get even a moment extra end of year, so neither do you now.’

So, the story continues. I really like the way you write. It sounds really good, keeping that three parts structure in each chapter make it interesting. Well, in fact I haven't much to say (so it's not a review) except that it's good and I've good expectation for the following chapters and the end of the story.

Hey! I'm guessing none are reviewing the technical stuff any more. Characters, characters, characters. Honestly, can we just know about our grammar?

Nitpicks

Heyo Blackwood, Subtle here for a review!

Hmmm, what was I got to comment on. Ah yes, the characters and plot. Your writing, grammar and spelling is as flawless as any YWSers can get on here, so is a hopeless case if I try to comment on them.

I don't have a lot for the plot either, just a few hunches here and there. The one thing that bothered me a little, is the characters. I have not doubt one of your reviewers have told you this. Your characters, though each have a distinct way of speaking and personality to some degree. Especially with Beaureguard, he stands out the most besides Nazza. The rest just seems to be there, like there isn't enough depth into them yet. Because you switch different characters each part,car don't really get a in-depth view into any of them. Even with Nazza, whom is our constant MC. We still only get what he thinks of others and not a lot on himself. This is almost like a first person omniscient (I know it doesn't exist, but it feels like it, as if we are standing from a outsider's POV).

One of my next hence, is actually on the collective group of the history boys. Despite we know them and all, and despite the earlier claims in Nazza's chapter. I still don't have the feel that they are a collective of boys with the same goal. It doesn't have that feel that they all belong in this group but instead, is like this faint whisper that they realize they are into something but nothing serious. That bond between still needs to develop, but this is already the eighth chapter. You might want to speed up the bonding and action a bit, for the past seventh chapters we have gotten to understand each of the inidvuals a bit now is time to throw them together and see what happens.

One of the most enjoyable parts is actually, reading about Sir when he's alive. But this story is very intriguing, so please keep updating when you're ready.

-S.s

So interesting. I'm wondering if all the details of the future (post dead-sir) will be told through flash backs (err flash-forwards), or will we eventually catch up, leaving us with one clear narrative?