Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Summer break is about to end in 2 days, but i can't stop thinking what new things are in store for me as i am going to become a high school student. As i was imagining,there was a knock at the door.The knock wasn't an ordinary one, it was a loud and energetic knock. Nonetheless i opened the door and to my surprise
OKayyyy...interesting point to start off on there...we've got ourselves someone being worried about going to high school for the first time, which definitely establishing a nice platform of sorts for what that person is going through but then adding that on top of a sudden knock on the door makes for a pretty neat start here.
"I'm back, Stella!"with a huge smile on his face while holding a luggage on his right.
Quickly i embraced him since its been a month since i last saw him.
Okay...looks like a happy reunion here although...uhh...its a tiny bit confusing as to who exactly just arrived here cause it looks like you haven't gone ahead and actually mentioned that here...soo...that's prolly something you need to try and include there, just to make sure we know exactly what all the cause for this joy is and who this person is that she seems to be so happy to see.
Mom suddenly screamed "Food is ready guys."
The smell of bolognese spaghetti suddenly filtered the room and just like that time pasted and is now bed time.That night i dreamed that i saw a red string connecting me with someone i could not recognise.
Okay...the screaming is a touch extreme, I feel like that word doesn't quite work with the context we have there. At any rate though, it ends on a pretty intriguing note there, which is definitely a nice touch. The transition there kind of makes the pacing a tiny bit rushed, but that aside we have a pretty mysterious ending there, which definitely works quite well for the start of a story here. Overall, this is a pretty decent little start here, seems like a story that I would read here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Points: 254038
Reviews: 4101
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