Young Writers Society

I really like this change in the story. I feel like she's finally coming around to the senses of someone who is in one of these novels, skipping out on school, running away from the creepy guy who she stabbed, ignoring family ties when the family ignores her, it feels like that's where she would end up going.

To start with, I think there is a bit of a disconnect between chapter 9 and chapter 10. The reason I say this is because last I understood, she was running away and freaking out, but here she is curled up at home somehow. When did she get home? How did she get by her sister and the creep?

I'm not saying you have to follow her every step of the way, but at least having some transition between running through the woods and getting home would be nice. If this were a novel in print, I'd have turned back a page to see if I missed something. As it was, I sort of wondered, if I'd reviewed the last one or not, so I had to check. I don't remember there being that big of a jump between chapters 8 and 9, but that could be because of how it ended.

Overall I think the chapter is pretty good. I don't really like that you incorporated the mirror and the message on it for the first time here [that I've seen] I feel like she should have written that down sometime in the first few chapters and then stuck it in her mirror to forget about it for more than just the start to end of a chapter.

Also I'm surprised at how distant the two sisters are. I didn't hear about her at all in school in the 8th chapter, and in the 9th when she was around, I wasn't sure who she was, but now I know she's the twin sister? It's a little boggling because I'd think they would be closer, or that her sister would be confident enough to go to the US alone, or even just do something on the internet like try to contact their father she thinks is out there. It seems like a crazy idea to go jumping across the world with a killer, especially with someone as quiet and rational seeming as Isabelle, but I could be reading her character wrong. Either way I feel like Isabelle's reaction is a little forced considering the circumstances, and she shouldn't feel so in control. Something is up with her that allows her to be so demanding that she would ignore justice for their mother, and her own fear of self preservation. She goes from not being able to stab this guy herself, to wanting to own his butt to help find her father. It's a strange twist in attitude.

Overall, I liked the chapter. I think this is going somewhere better because we're seeing Alexis stand up for herself and take action how she wants to instead of blindly walking around expecting things to work out, or expecting her mother to come home. I'm a bit disappointed she didn't get to call the cops about her mother, and that she ended up stabbing Russel but at the same time, I think something needed to happen. She needed that fight or flight response and in this case she fought.

O_O *mind-blown* This review will probably be different to my previous ones, partially because I can't find any major mistakes and because I really liked it, and partially because I'm floating somewhere in heaven right now. So anyways, let's get on with the review!

“Yeah?” he said, sarcastic from skepticism. “Then where did you get ‘em?”

Leaning my elbows against the window sill and holding my head in my hands, I sucked in a few deep breaths and tried not to cry, tried to stop fond memories of us playing in my mind, tried to stop myself thinking I could’ve stopped this. It’s my fault, I should’ve protected her.

The wind rustling the leaves of the gum trees soothed me like wind chimes. A kookaburra began laughing at me and I laughed with it. I was free now. I didn’t quite know what that meant or what it would entail, but I knew I was free; free of the fear for my mother that was now grief. Free of Russell. I didn’t have to watch him abuse her anymore. I didn’t have to listen to them bitch about me. I didn’t know where I could go, but I knew I couldn’t go home, and that was fine, because I was free.

Alexis’

Hey, I will review this later, just to say. This is my favorite chapter by far, your writing had gone up a few notches.