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Young Writers Society


18+ Language Mature Content

A Solitary Epistle For "Him"

by Renard


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.

Dear Sirs and Madams,

It saddens me to be here today to report what is the newest, greatest lost of my life.

He asked for forgiveness before he departed the world. And I granted him that, but he ignored me.

I'm not angry at him, not at all, in anyway, shape or form. I just want him back. But I can't have that. Perhaps, the strangest and maybe the most ironic thing is that he will never truly understand now how much he meant to me; and that the only thing he wanted for us to be together and now we can't even do that anymore.

I guess, it should be the greatest thing I deserve, given my history. The biggest: taste of your own medicine you can get. And now I can't rectify it.

I've smudged the next few words because I am crying. Because I can't see through the blurry feelings.

After the loss of my father I never thought I would go through this again.

And I have.

People say you never truly recover from the losses of loved ones.

I have made an uneccessary sacrifice this time, and it was not of my choosing. I had hoped that our relationship would mean enough to him, but sadly not.

Now I will be forever alone without him. Never be touched by him, and I know that no one will ever be able to touch me in the same way again.

In a way, I hope that he will see this somehow, and that the message will come across. That what he did wasn't the answer. If he'd stayed around we could have worked together. And had that wedding and that family we talked about. Hell, even the dog. Yes, in a way, I hope he sees this. Because then he will know how much I miss him and how much what he did fucked me up.

With regards,

~ LT

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933 Reviews

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Reviews: 933

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Thu Apr 24, 2014 12:03 am
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Iggy wrote a review...



Hey BiSF. ^^

Dear Sirs and Madams,


It might just be me, but this sounds almost sarcastic? You sound like you're trying to make this letter like it was written in old century England. I suggest you swap it for something more modern.

the newest, greatest lost of my life.


I don't understand the "newest" part? Unless you mean to say that you've already had a greatest lost and this one is just more recent? If so, remove the comma so it makes more sense.

And I granted him that, but he ignored me.


So this contradicts the earlier sentence. Why ask for her forgiveness and then ignore it? Unless it wasn't her forgiveness he wanted? If so, be more clear on that.

I'm not angry at him, not at all, in anyway, shape or form.


Angry with him*

any way*

Also, too many commas. Find a way to combine that in a more simple fashion.

Perhaps, the strangest and maybe the most ironic thing


Cut out that comma.

The biggest: taste of your own medicine you can get.


Random colon is random.

Because I can't see through the blurry feelings.


Blurry feelings? More like blurry tears. Blurry feelings is you trying to be poetic and it isn't working.

I have made an uneccessary sacrifice this time


Unnecessary*

how much what he did fucked me up.


Cut the indicated words.


Okay. Let's get down to it.

For a letter targeted to anyone and everyone, I can understand how this needs to be broad. But I still think that this would be better with more clarity. For instance, why did he leave? I see that these two are lovers. But clearly he wasn't happy and so he left. Why?

Moving on, I did like the emotion in this. It's hard to convey emotion in a letter, but you did. It wasn't a tear-jerking letter that had me crying, but it did evoke sympathy from me for the narrator. I can also relate to this, as I'm pretty sure all girls have felt this type of pain at least once in their life (and if they haven't, then they better consider themselves lucky =-=)

Overall, this was good. Clear and straight to the point and nicely written. Good job. ^^ Hope this helps.

~Iggy




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285 Reviews

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Wed Apr 23, 2014 11:59 pm
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GreenTulip wrote a review...



Hi, Tulip here to give you a review on this piece.

So...if this work was posted with an emotion punch to be delivered to everyone who reads it...it has done it's job. I was speechless as I read this. I was like 'wow. this is so very emotional.' But that's only half the battle.

So nitpicks:

*So for me this paragraph did not make a lot of sense.* I guess, it should be the greatest thing I deserve, given my history. The biggest: taste of your own medicine you can get. And now I can't rectify it. *I feel like if this was written clearer it would have a lot more impact.*


People say you never truly recover from the losses of loved ones. *I think it should be loss*


Favorites:
People say you never truly recover from the losses of loved ones. *I liked this one because it is very true.*


I have made an unnecessary sacrifice this time, and it was not of my choosing. I had hoped that our relationship would mean enough to him, but sadly not. *Please note that a word has been edited for spelling.*


To travel into the words of wrods, letters and ideas is a wonderful word isn't it...so shall we go! Allons-y!





Almost all absurdity of conduct rises from the imitation of those whom we cannot resemble.
— Samuel Johnson