z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

There are Three

by KindlingDragonsFire


There are three types of people in the world.

The Proud.

The Humble.

And the Inconspicuous.

The Proud are boisterous, chests puffed like happy robins, giddy and always showing off their works. The Proud can be good people or bad people or boring people or interesting people, and it's written in permanent ink on their faces.

The Humble are quiet, waiting for fate, for others to look at what they have, for themselves to be recognised through quiet discovery. The Humble are still the bad and the good and the boring and interesting, and the Humble are always folk who decide that being Proud is foolish. If you boast to be humble, chances are you are not.

The Inconspicuous are silent. They are the overlooked, the ones who hide in the shadows of others, the ones never to be recognised, faces always jumbled into something else. The Inconspicuous are inconspicuous. Some are much like the humble, and other have to fight to be seen at the best of times. The Inconspicuous are often called wall-flowers. They stand near the sides of the room, listening to a tale of intrigue and suspense, but never joining in. They are the ones quietly watching you from across the table as you finish up your lamb steak. They can be bad or good, and are always interesting. No one boasts to be inconspicuous. The Inconspicuous are there. They are the listeners, the readers, the ones who stare, the men and women and the ones mixed among the Proud and Humble and Others.

That is not a bad thing, not really, because what would this world be without them? They do not hide. They could be sitting by the window in a cafe, drinking their beverage or reading the paper. But no one has ever gone up to one. Why would they? They are, after all, a stranger...

...and yet they are needed. This world without one who was Inconspicuous would not be the world you knew. Because it is truly the Inconspicuous who make the world so wonderful and interesting. They are secret. But they know one another, and they notice one another. The world, in the eyes of an Inconspicuous, is a place full of magic. They never grow up, not really. Their minds are silly to those who hear the words, to the Humble and Proud, but not to the ones like them. They keep their dreams of flying, or being astronauts, even when they’re old and wrinkly, even when they are past the point of hope.

Yet things changed.

It was when a visionary of the Inconspicuous died that the others decided it was time, time to make their mark, and it split them in two. There were now two parts to the Inconspicuous, the ones who were tired of being overlooked versus the ones who wanted it that way. A feud began, and as quick as a flash, sides were taken. Recruits were chosen. It was if a war was looming, and a war would do no good.

This feud had to be settled, quickly and peaceably.

But it wasn't going to be that simple.


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29 Reviews


Points: 4615
Reviews: 29

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Wed Apr 09, 2014 3:34 pm
TheUnnatural wrote a review...



Hey, Unnatural here! I'm sorry, I'm kind a critical reviewer if you don't mind :)

I was immediately hooked into this story because of the title. I was like "what? three? three of what?" This short story is beautifully written, and definitely needs to be expanded into maybe a slightly longer short story.

Ok, anyways, let me get moving.

Nice beginning, definitely liked it right away.

"The Inconspicuous are there. They are the listeners, the readers, the ones who stare, the men and women and the ones mixed among the Proud and Humble and Others. Who are the inconspicuous?

They simply are."

I didn't exactly understand it here at the very end when you wrote "who are the inconspicuous? they simply are." because a) you just wrote a whole paragraph about them and b) "they simply are" doesn't answer the question.

Okay, I also got confused here when you wrote:

"They simply are.


Which is not a bad thing, not really, because what would this world be without them? They do not hide."

Maybe you should start the fourth paragraph talking about what the "which" is. Because you started with the fourth paragraph after "they simply are", this isn't a good way to start a new paragraph. Remind the reader what you're talking about. The reader should know what you're talking about. Their behavior? Be more specific.

Finally, work on your tenses.

"Yet things are changing.

It was when a visionary of the Inconspicuous died that the others decided it was time, time to make their mark, and it split them in two. There were now two parts to the Inconspicuous, the ones who were tired of being overlooked versus the ones who wanted it that way."

For example, here, it should be "Yet things changed" if you want to write about how things changed.

An overall wonderful, intriguing story. Keep writing, I hope to see more from you! :)






Thank you for the review! I will definitely keep that in mind.



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933 Reviews


Points: 4261
Reviews: 933

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Wed Apr 09, 2014 1:44 am
Iggy wrote a review...



Hello!

First off, I love how random this is xD

Second, I like how you introduced the three types of people and went into details for each of them, describing each of them and giving examples to further understand how people are like that. It even helps the reader figure out what personality type they are.

You focus a bit more on the Inconspicuous and it made me think that you were favoring that personality type because it was your own or it was just the general focus of the story, but then you proceed to tell us that Inconspicuous was now gone and it was just the Humble and Proud. That gives this a mysterious feel, as you say the war has begun and I'm sitting here like "What war?!"

Overall, this totally should be continued or turned into a story where things are explained more and these traits become actual people. This has a lot of potential! It was interesting and ending with a nice cliffhanger, leaving the reader confused but also intrigued to know what happens next. Here's to hoping you expand on this. :)






This story has been stewing in my head for years! I've been meaning to expand on it, but I've just needed a long time to come up with details!
It's a longer short story (wow, that was an oxymoron...) called Adventures of an Inconspicuous... But it wasn't that good after this part so I kind of cropped it short...
Thank you so much for you kind words and for reading! It really means a lot to me. :D




It is not enough to do your best; you must know what to do, and THEN do your best.
— W. Edwards Deming