Young Writers Society

Hello Ms. Olafson (at least, I presume, from your username, olafson11, that you are, indeed, Ms. Olafson herself). Welcome to the Young Writers Society. I hope you enjoy your stay. We're very committed here to helping young writers improve their writing craft!

With that said, as far as informative pieces go, I found this to be a bit sparse on the information, heavy with the lauding. There's issues with excessive modifier usage, as well as a general lack of coherent organization, which results in the jumping of ideas. An example of this is most obvious in the first paragraph, which leaps from introducing the subject of this article to describing the attributes of a particular Miami suburb and suddenly back to describing the commitment to the shop mentioned in the first sentence before continuing on about our subject's accomplishments.

Something else I noticed was a complete lack of objectiveness or modesty in this, and it can be tied to the excessive use of modifiers I mentioned earlier, combined with the fact that you are (presumably) the author of this article. For instance, claiming that you are "an amazing floral designer" without providing concrete examples to back up this claim renders it quite empty. A more effective modifier to use would be "accomplished" or "well-established" as you could then cite the number and variety of events as concrete examples of being both accomplished and well-established.

There were also a number of typos in this, which severely detracted from the professionalism of this article. In the same sentence as the use of "amazing", "design" should be "designs". Small details like subject-verb agreement are important in establishing one's professionalism through writing, and these small details can make or break a professional image.

I strongly encourage you to more thoroughly proofread your own work before posting it publicly, or else invest a copy editor who will ensure that your writing is free of all sorts of grammar errors.

Hello olafson11, welcome to YWS!

How did you get all this right? I would be tired after the first paragraph. Anyone know why there has been? I'm no fan of writing essays but apparently people are nowadays.

Are you Nichole Olafson? If you are, silly you. Going to write an autobiography about yourself. Then post it on here. You must be Nichole Olafson, I seriously doubt the fan sites have the fact she (or you?) Would have the fact that she was a band geek who played the flute.

I don't think I can nitpick this for there is no grammar, punctuation, capitalization, or spelling mistakes on here.

This was a good thing to my eyes. It's short and I don't have to read big long paragraphs. Keep writing,

-lost

Hello cherry here to:

A)'make sure that stupid blue team doesn't win

B) review your amazing piece of work!

This was very short. Sweet, simple and yet very interesting. I found myself trying to read more and it was too short for my taste! I have never heard the name olafson...maybe it's popular somewhere else. My favorite paragraph had to be the second, talking about her job at the night club. I found that one to be the most entertaining.

Keep writing and happy review day!

-cherry

Hi there! GreenLight24 here with a review for you as we continue to push our way the ought this magnificent March review day. Team blue all day!!! ;D

First of all, I'm frankly not sure whether or not you are this Nicole Olafson, but my best guess is that you are because if you weren't, it would e low-key scary for you to know this much about here XD. Of you aren't Nicole Olafson, lo siento.

I like the job you've done here as far as expressing your pride in your achievements. Often, people are reluctant to write articles about themselves for a variety of reasons, but I think that a little bit of "tooting one's own horn" every now and then is good for you. It's never a bad thing to go ahead and give yourself credit for the things you've done as long as you look toward the future with an open mind and continue to consider the possibilities of what you could achieve. My biggest criticism here would be that I would try to go bak and re-write this as a short story or maybe even an autobiography. Articles are cool, but I feel like you could come up with something aerodyne if you fused the events of your life with a literary form and turned your story into a real work of art.

Other than that, good job and thank you for sharing your story with us! Happy review day!

*waves* Just so you know, I've changed this from being a "short story" to an "article/essay" because that's what it is and I don't want to deceive our reviewers.

Also... there's been a lot of these type of essays floating around. Do you know why?

Anyways, I really don't know how to review this. I think you got your facts correct, but that might be because you are this Nichole Olafson, correct?

Your facts were clear and so were your examples. This was all formed simply. The information was conveyed in a way where anyone could understand it; it was short and simple.

I think you gave us a lot of information on Ms. Olafson, and maybe a bit too much information. I'm going to remove the Facebook link for your own safety.

Overall, this was short, simple, and sweet. I do think you could have given a few examples of her self-proclaimed amazing floral designs, but that's for you to decide. This was still good either way.