Young Writers Society

In the last line, I think there should be a comma after 'birthday'. I know that's not a major criticism, but I still feel kind of bad about pointing it out, since this poem was so. Very. Meaningful.

Seriously. I don't like saying even small negative things on heartfelt poems like this.

Besides the comma thing, I thought some of the middle lines were a bit too long, considering the shorter lines in the rest of the poem.

What I liked: Well, literally everything else. Lol.

Keep writing!

Hi there, Sunshine1113!

I hope you don't mind being my guinea pig. I'm trying out a new poetry review format, so there may be a few repetitive/confusing bits in here. I'll try my best to keep it straight.

Introduction:

Well, first of all, let me just say that, yeah, your poem is pretty, but it's more than that. Your poem is genuine. More than anything, the reader really just wants the words to be heartfelt--and that's what you manage to accomplish here.

Formatting and Punctuation:

On formatting, you're mostly fine. The lengths of your lines are mostly consistent, which not only makes the poem easy to break up and say, but also makes it LOOK good. That's always important.
However, in the center of your poem, there are two lines that are much longer than the others:

In a few years after that you'll probably be a professional gamer or musician,

After that you'll grow old with the woman you love and watch your children grow up,

Happy birthday little bro

Hi sunshine1113!!!!!

Its Eros here!!!!!

Wow!!!!It was really a great poem.It expressed all your love for your little brother in such a sweet manner.I read so many poems till now,but i found a depth in this one. You have got a beautiful talent. And you are using it so beautifully.

You have written this poem for your brotjer on his birthday. It will be the most wonderful and unique gift to your bither.

You have got an art of writing such nice and lovely poetry.I really loved it. You think of the beautiful future of your brother and express it it in the form of a lovely poem.

Bestof luck!
Continue writing.....
We all love to read your stuff

:~Eros

Your work is amazing.

Hey there! Purple here to give you a review! Let's get started.
This is a pretty nice poem except for a few little nitpicks. Actually instead of a poem I would but this under 'Other' since there's really no imagery, metaphor, or persuasive/narrative main theme.
The big problem I have with this is your punctuation which seems to be a common issue on this site. If you're going to use punctuation, it might as well be done correctly
When having one complete thought, that would be it's own sentence. All the lines are capitalized even though you used a comma for every line except for the last two. By that I would assume you were intending making sentences but you still wanted it to "flow", right? Well flow is just kind of another word for rhythm or beat that the poem has behind it. I would format it like this (and you can change this but you get the idea)

"My dearest younger brother,

today you turn 14.

This year you graduate eighth grade,

then you'll be in high school.

A few short years later, you'll move out.

And after that you'll probably be a professional gamer or musician.

Then you'll grow old with the woman you love and watch your children grow up.

But no matter how old you grow,

no matter what you do,

there's a special place in my heart

that's just for you.

I'll love you no matter what;

No matter how far or close,

No matter how young or old,

I will always love you.

Happy birthday little bro."

I hope this was helpful. Have a nice night
~Purple

Hi, Tulip here to give you a review on this poem that is written for your brother.

I found this poem rather sweet, and I found that I can connect to parts because I am both a younger and older sister to two brothers. I know that even my younger brother will never be able to do the things that are listed in this poem, I am glad to see that you have a brother that will be able to.

I liked the format, but I feel like the emotional impact that you may be trying to gain will benefit with stanzas. These will give the parts with the same amount of emotion a strong sense of it, and I feel like it will be shown to have a strong impact on your brother if he has not already read this.

I have nothing negative to share with you about this poem, but I can give you some of my favorite parts of it.

This year you graduate eighth grade,

Soon you'll be in high school,

In a few short years you'll move out,

In a few years after that you'll probably be a professional gamer or musician,

After that you'll grow old with the woman you love and watch your children grow up,(Should be a period in my mind.)