Published February 18, 2014
*Inspired by Lauren2010's Winter Olympics task! I have done a villanelle the most classic of ways…landscape!*
So long to Summer’s song with Her tired eyes,
Slowly watching her heart melt below emerald lands,
Tomorrow, a new view of storm shattering skies.
*
Winter’s breath freed as the swallow flies,
Searching for fire south of the Sahara sands,
So long to Summer’s song with Her tired eyes.
*
Sweet Heidy awakens as the firework Bee Balm dies,
Alongside weary branches shaking off their painted hands,
Tomorrow, a new view of storm shattering skies.
*
Drizzling rain pitter patters as heaven cries,
Grass’ dew a frozen blanket from His morning commands,
So long to Summer’s song with Her tired eyes.
*
Rolling thunder and crackling light join again as worthy allies,
Summer’s heart stays low to follow Winter’s demands,
Tomorrow, a new view of storm shattering skies.
*
Diamond orbs at attention as time falls back anti-clockwise,
Seven months of solar sleep as the Earth follows it’s plans,
So long to Summer’s song with Her tired eyes,
Tomorrow, a new view of storm shattering skies.
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139,388 Literary Works • 672,542 Reviews
I love the flow and repetition of this poem. It's really beautiful. I like how you almost made the seasons into people. I love the line "Alongside weary branches shaking off their painted hands" this is a great comparison and gives some really good visual imagery.
In this line: "Diamond orbs at attention as time falls back anti-clockwise" I don't know if you did this on purpose, but shouldn't it be counter-clockwise instead?
Overall, I really enjoyed this. It's a really pretty poem. Great work!
-Ruby-
I love the rhythm of this one and it rhymes, I like how you use the line from ''a new view of storm shattering skies'' again and again after every phrase.
I think this poem goes about the seasons, how they change and so do we, we are just like the seasons and that is what I liked about this poem.
After I read this I was a little sad cause it was already over, the poem I mean, it could in my eyes a little more longer.
But short poems are great too, it was a excellent piece and a light for my dark mind. Good job, thumbs up.
~ Dazzle