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Autumn Villanelle

by OliveDreams


*Inspired by Lauren2010's Winter Olympics task! I have done a villanelle the most classic of ways…landscape!*

So long to Summer’s song with Her tired eyes,

Slowly watching her heart melt below emerald lands,

Tomorrow, a new view of storm shattering skies.

*

Winter’s breath freed as the swallow flies,

Searching for fire south of the Sahara sands,

So long to Summer’s song with Her tired eyes.

*

Sweet Heidy awakens as the firework Bee Balm dies,

Alongside weary branches shaking off their painted hands,

Tomorrow, a new view of storm shattering skies.

*

Drizzling rain pitter patters as heaven cries,

Grass’ dew a frozen blanket from His morning commands,

So long to Summer’s song with Her tired eyes.

*

Rolling thunder and crackling light join again as worthy allies,

Summer’s heart stays low to follow Winter’s demands,

Tomorrow, a new view of storm shattering skies.

*

Diamond orbs at attention as time falls back anti-clockwise,

Seven months of solar sleep as the Earth follows it’s plans,

So long to Summer’s song with Her tired eyes,

Tomorrow, a new view of storm shattering skies.


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38 Reviews


Points: 372
Reviews: 38

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Sun Feb 23, 2014 6:44 am
Ruby68 wrote a review...



I love the flow and repetition of this poem. It's really beautiful. I like how you almost made the seasons into people. I love the line "Alongside weary branches shaking off their painted hands" this is a great comparison and gives some really good visual imagery.

In this line: "Diamond orbs at attention as time falls back anti-clockwise" I don't know if you did this on purpose, but shouldn't it be counter-clockwise instead?

Overall, I really enjoyed this. It's a really pretty poem. Great work!

-Ruby-




User avatar
29 Reviews


Points: 1361
Reviews: 29

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Sat Feb 22, 2014 11:52 am
Oakenshield wrote a review...



I love the rhythm of this one and it rhymes, I like how you use the line from ''a new view of storm shattering skies'' again and again after every phrase.

I think this poem goes about the seasons, how they change and so do we, we are just like the seasons and that is what I liked about this poem.

After I read this I was a little sad cause it was already over, the poem I mean, it could in my eyes a little more longer.

But short poems are great too, it was a excellent piece and a light for my dark mind. Good job, thumbs up.

~ Dazzle





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