Young Writers Society

Well, this was an interesting idea for a haiku! Honestly, if you follow all the rules with this sort of poem, it can't go wrong.
I hate to inform you, but haikus TECHNICALLY are supposed to be about nature. However, this was such a cool haiku that I shall only take off half a point from your overall rating.
Overall rating: 9.5/10
Your avvie is adorable!
Keep writing
+1

Hey there Cheetah!
Giraffe here!!!!! I love this for your first haiku! It's swag to the max! The font is adorbs! My favorite part though is the spelling! It is definitely on point! You're so swaggy and your writing is too!
Keep us the good work! Hope this helps!
~Your best GIRAFFE friend forever! (Bgff)

Hi Cheetah, Shauzer here reviewing
I always have trouble reviewing haiku s So short, there nice to read but a pain to write about, I did liked this one though. It wasn't complicated, it was to the point. I'll bet it's hard to write a haiku, I've never tried but it must be difficult thinking up what to actually write about. Well done on writing about something I'm sure a lot of people can relate to... Maybe next time - I know it's hard to do in a haiku - try to add some imagery, it'd be a nice touch. Here, in each line, you give us your emotions, next time try to split it up, devote one line to pure description Hope I helped, I'd love to see some of your longer poetry so I can review properly,
Keep writing,
TS.

Timmy here for a quiiicccckkkkk review...

I mean, how can you write a long review on a piece so short? But that is a Haiku. Short and to the point. I think you did a much better job on your first than I did mine. You got the 5-7-5 right. I got it as 7-10-6 on my first. Bleh. Anyway, onto your review!

So this was awesome! At first, your first line seems to contradict your third, when you say you're out of control, and then you say you need to break free... but... there are more kinds of captivity than just restraint. Out of control... I am trying to think of what that could mean... Like going crazy kind of out of control and you have to break out of that?

I think if you are going to punctuate every line, you should make the second line have a period instead of a comma, since it is the same kind of line as the others, and is its own separate thought.

I am afraid that is all I have to say on this one. I am no good at reviewing Haiku's, I am afraid. Its just not my thing. I hope this helped a little bit.
~Timmyjake (Oh, and this deserves a like from me! )

This is an amazing piece of poetry, Cheetah!
I p personally love haikus, writing and reading t hem and this has been really great to reaed.
I have to agree with SubtleSanity on the note where you don't have to punctuate every line, but I do quite like the first line having a first a full stop, it draws the reader in, and really wants them to know WHY you're out of control and HOW.
I have no issues with any of your words, they are simple and powerful, and I like how they're simple, ans the meaning is simile, and that really helps get the message across
Uh, I really can't think of any criticism at all, sorry! Great work for your first haiku though, it's very impressive, it deserves to be on the Spotlight!
Happy Writing!
-CFG

Heyo Cheetah, Knight Subtle here for an incredibly short review. Am I right to say that this is a haiku? If not, than it is a wonderfully written short poem. I just really love what you have written here about your mind, basically because I think a lot of people can relate to it. We all know that feeling when thoughts are raging and screeching in our heads like prisoners behind a bar. And we all know how that just drives people, especially us writers when we cannot express them.

So,

I'm out of control.

I can't think straight anymore,

I have to break free.

This is Verser here for my 2nd review (again, dont hate)

Cheetah, I think this ones going to be short. The best part about this Haiku is it explains SO much about this haiku is that it explains so much about your mind (Although your probably not thinking about that all the time) Also, I think this relates to your picture. You want to break free and be... WILD.

One suggestion for your next Haiku is, make it about something small, that way you can express it in very few words. Or, if your a very good writer, you can write it about something Big and sum it up in three sentences.

All in all. Great job on your Haiku.

Andy here, with the reviews of bananaman!
First off, this is awesome. I'm just going to get that out there. In my expirience, Haikus are a easy art form to learn, and a neigh impossible one to master. Anyone can write a 5-7-5, but this is outstanding. To be honest, the only regret I have here is that I wish it was longer. Maybe you would consider trying to do some longer poems, like rythmic or the type? Maybe you have, I haven't checked your profile out yet.

I bet you'd do really good in the rhyming every other line poems though. I'm waiting for more! *grins creepily* God bless!

Andy of bananaman reviews