Chapter one: Born

Hi there! Lucrezia here for a review, as requested.

Okay, this is a really, really good first chapter, I must say. The pacing was fast without being overwhelming, the descriptions were good, some parts were downright shocking (the MC's siblings being shot so suddenly, for example), and it was quite addictive to read.

Well done!

Now for some technical nitpicks:

were already in the bath tub

"Bathtub" should be one word.

"Come on out little ones mommy says the wound isn't that bad." That's when I heard a different voice, a female one almost just like my mothers say, "Yeah, it's not that bad, just a little cut. Come out!"

Should be:

'"Come on out, little ones. Mommy says the wound isn't that bad."

A different voice, female and almost identical to my mother's, cut in to say, "Yeah, it's not that bad. Just a little cut. Come out . . ."'

I changed the exclamation point at the end to dot-dot-dots for suspense and dramatic purposes, though that's stylistic.

What I changed here that's most important is the paragraph break between the man's dialogue and the woman's. As dragonofphoenix already pointed out, it's crucial to always put in a paragraph break before a different character starts speaking. Remember that in the future.

I was staying in the tub where I was told to but I felt my little siblings get up, and out of the tub and were at the door in two seconds and yelling in unison, "Yay daddy you’re all right......" That's as far as they got before he shot them to death.

This is something of a run-on sentence, the D in "daddy" should be capitalized, you left out some punctuation, and overall it's just clunky. An example of how to change it:

'I was staying in the tub as I was told to, but suddenly I felt my little siblings get up and head for the door. They were there within seconds, before I could even attempt to stop them.

"Yay, Daddy, you're all right . . ."

That's as far as they got before he shot them.'

but that's kinda hard to do when you know you entire family is dead

Your entire family, not "you."

The people one the other side were strange looking

"On," not "one."

one was the male. He was tall, even though he was kneeling, his eyes were a dark—an evil red—his skin was a little darker than his eyes but not much.

Again, this is kind of clunky and not a very smooth description. Also, calling him the "male" instead of just the "man" is a bit off-putting and took me aback for a moment.

You might want to change it to:

'The man was tall, which I could tell even though he was kneeling, and his eyes were a deep (and sinister) red. His skin was a bit darker than his eyes, but not much.'

"I could feel energy warping around me, and into my body. The man let go of me and started to walk backwards.

I don't know why the quotation mark is there at the beginning.

So, I think it would be fair to say the technical stuff is not your strong point. Luckily for you, that's really not a big deal. The most important thing is having a good story; the rest of it just comes with practice and learning.

And I can say it seems this story is going to be very good. It's intriguing, mysterious, fantastical, and held my interest the whole way through. I'm looking forward to reading chapter two.

Nice work!

Knight Dragon, here to review!

Technical:

"I woke to my mother shaking me, "Wake up X, someone's breaking into the apartment and your father told me to get y'all to safety!" She said dragging me out of my bed."

This was a really awkward opening for me. On the technical, that first comma should be a period, that second comma should actually be after "up" and there should probably be an exclamation point after "X". Then the "She" should be decapsed, and there should be a comma after "said."
Now, a comment on your main character's name. "X", to me, isn't a name, it's a letter. And that letter seems to stand as a placeholder. Reading it felt like you haven't taken the time to pick out a name for your main character yet and just wanted to write the story. Unless that's a part of your world's system and how characters are named, I'd strongly recommend changing it. Even if that is how your naming system works, I'd recommend changing the letter of the alphabet.

"In the corner of my little, dim lit room I saw it, or something, it was a blackish color and piercing eyes, with a demonic grin."

Reading "little, dim lit" was a mental mouthful. I felt like little wasn't exactly necessary and only cluttered up the mental articulation.
Hyphenate "dim lit", and that third comma is a comma splice and needs to be a period. Style recommendation--put "or something" in parentheses, if you keep it at all. That "it" should cover the "or something", but if you want it for narrator style, then I'd put it in parentheses.

"I have extremely good hearing, eyesight, smell, and reaction, which came from my father, he has the same attributes, making him the most respected and wanted cop in America."

This is a major "tell" sentence that broke in on the reading flow. It really wasn't necessary and detracted from the "show" of the next sentence. If listening in on the struggle is such a feat, then readers will pick up on it. But right now, it's not that big a deal. They're in an apartment, and most apartments have thin walls that let sounds through easily. This is well understood, and you don't need hyper-hearing to listen in on a fight outside.
I would recommend cutting this sentence completely. It's a technical mess as is, and detracts from the story.

"I keep listening in as the person was walking down the hall."

Your verb tense shifted here. Keep is in the present, and should be kept in the past. Also, I'd recommend changing "as the person was walking" to "while the person walked."

"Honey I've been shot and need you to help me please come out, I really don't want to scare the kids."

Punctuation seems to be a struggle. There should be a comma after "Honey", a period after "me", a comma after "please", and perhaps a period instead of a comma after "out."

" "Stay here guys," My mom said, with a hint of horror,"

That "Stay here..." should start a new paragraph. Decaps "My", and change that last comma to a period.

"yeah, it's not that bad just a little cut, come out!"

Capitalize 'yeah', move that comma from after 'cut' to after 'bad', and put a period in its place.

"the tub were I was told to but I felt my little siblings get up, and out of the tub and were at the door in two seconds and yelling in unison, "yay daddy you’re alright"

That first 'were' should be 'where', that "yay" should be capitalized, and there should be a comma or an explanation point after it. Also, 'alright' is spelled "all right."
Story note: why in the world didn't your MC try to stop their siblings??? Seriously, they're older, and they have a very good reason to believe both parents are dead. Killing off the siblings just to show how evil the demons are is unnecessary. The demons have already killed both parents, and we intuitively understand demons are evil.

""Alright come on out I know there's one more in there and you can't hide forever you know, come out and talk to your daddy.""

Just noting the 'alright' there. Now, for the punctuation. A comma after "alright", a period or comma after "out", a comma after "forever", change that comma after "know" to a period.
Another thing: all dialogue should start a new paragraph, unless it's the same character speaking. Then it's okay to leave it in the same paragraph.

"but that’s kinda hard to do that when you know you"

The "that" that's all by itself in "hard to do that when" makes the sentence flow awkwardly. I'd recommend deleting it.

"My dad had told me to always control my emotions, especially my anger, but that’s kinda hard to do that when you know you entire family is dead just on the other side of a simple door, so I stood up and stepped out of the tub, walking toward the door when something caught my attention in the mirror."

Same section, except that's the entire sentence. That's a really long sentence. I'd recommend breaking it up into smaller sentences.

"I turned towards the mirror and I saw the thing from earlier but a lot clearer."

I had to go all the way back to the beginning and stop and think about what this 'thing' was you were referencing. The thing that really threw me off was that your MC's now looking in a mirror. When I read this sentence, I wasn't thinking, "Oh, that's what was in the bedroom earlier." Honestly, at first I had no idea what you were talking about. What 'thing' from earlier? Please make this a little clearer, perhaps emphasize the thing in the bedroom a little more.

"and it's eyes were glossy white"

Typo there. That "it's" shouldn't have an apostrophe.

"but it was also the thing was me. I looked up in horror not knowing what I could actually do."

You have an extra verb and word in "but it was also the thing was". Also, please put a comma after "horror".

" I pointed at the door and threw my hand away from the mirror letting the door get pulled off of its hinges and into the living room."

Comma after "mirror," please.

"The people one the other side were strange looking, one was the male, he was tall, even though he was kneeling, his eyes were a dark— an evil red— his skin was a little darker than his eyes but not much."

Multiple comma splices. Please fix those.

"The female was a reddish-pink, her eyes were blood red, her hair was more of a pinkish-red, and she was floating in midair by the help of her wings."

Same note as before.

Okay, just note that that entire paragraph contains many comma splices and needs attention.

"I slammed into the guy, knowing than men..."

Misspell. "that" instead of "than."

You have enough information to start revising. When you do, look through from where I stopped and see if you can spot the some of the errors I pointed out earlier (they're in there).

Hope this helps!