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Young Writers Society


12+ Violence Mature Content

Sheridan Holmes: The Last One to Drop (PART 31)

by WillowCutz


"Lestrade?" Captain Baynes of the Niagara Falls police station said over the phone. It was not everyday he found himself out of his depth, but after Lestrade had faxed him the picture of Buffalo's most wanted criminal and that criminal was spotted at the falls, well he had to call.

"Yeah?"

"You know that criminal you faxed me?"

"You've spotted him?" Lestrade stood up from his chair and pulled on his jacket.

"Yeah on the Maid of the Mist of all places. Some security guard spotted it in the water, we checked the cameras and he boarded the boat with some girl."

Lestrade stopped putting on his jacket, his right arm almost in it's sleeve. "What girl?"

"I don't know, tall, skinny girl with black hair and a purple coat. Does it matter?"

"Yes. Anything else happen? Are they still on the boat?" Lestrade was frantic.

There was a pause. "We heard gunshots a while ago, but we docked the boat. Moriarty and the girl are missing though, we're searching the shores now." Lestrade dropped the phone and ran.

***

The sirens wailed around the falls, not that Trevor Hanson could hear them over the sound of water rushing down around him. He had thankfully managed to hold onto a slowly shrinking piece of ice long enough to get to a spot where he could swim to land. It was then that he noticed the flashing lights reflecting off of a pair of black shoes into his eyes.

His coughing face looked up to see a Niagara police officer glaring down at him. He had red hair, that is what Trevor remembered the most. He was the 5 of hair colors, five being an orangey number. "Lestrade, we found someone." he said into his walkie talkie.

"Is it a girl?" A hopeful voice asked back.

"No, it's a pale guy." there was a long pause.

"Get him to an ambulance and keep looking."

***

Lestrade set his walkie talkie back into it's holster. He tried to keep himself calm. She had to be there. She had to be alive. If not for him, or Mark, or herself then at least for-

"Any luck yet?" Eli asked, her teeth chattering from the cold.

"No, but she still has about half an hour before she's dead."

"The hypothermia might not take hold." Eli swallowed a lump in her throat.

"It's below freezing in that water, even if we find her now she might loose a limb."

Eli rubbed her hand over her face nervously, a tear found it's way into the corner of her eye, followed by a raggedy sobbing beneath her hand. Lestrade didn't say anything, he couldn't. He just grabbed her by the shoulders and hugged her. Eli sobbed for about five minutes before she finally broke free of his hug.

"She's fine, I know she is." Eli proclaimed.

"I know." Lestrade agreed, "And we aren't giving up until we find her alive and swearing."

Eli laughed slightly between her heavy breaths and hiccups.

Needless to say, when the thirty minutes passed Eli and Lestrade were the last ones to leave. Eli was done sobbing though. On the car ride to the hospital, she went from tears to pure anger. She stomped through the emergency room, pushing through the nurses who tried to pull her back, and into the room where the police radio said Trevor Hanson was.

He glanced up when she entered. The doctor, who was busy running tests on him, looked up when she entered. "Hey, you can't be in here!" he yelled, but Eli ignored him. Instead she grabbed a chair and pushed it under the door handle. "Hey!" Eli glared at him.

"Shut up a minute, I'm a doctor." she went back to glaring at Trevor. "Where is she!?" she demanded.

"I don't know." he said calmly.

"What happened!?" she growled.

"She pushed me over the side of the boat, and went down with me." he glanced at the doctor for a second then back to Watson, "If you didn't find her then we know what happened to her."

"She's not dead!" Eli cried out. There was a banging on the door. Moriarty glanced over her shoulder to see the officers in the little window.

"But she must be." Trevor told her. Eli instinctively went for his throat, stopping herself a foot from him. "Eli Watson, Sheridan Holmes is dead." Eli's face went blank. The door crashed open and Eli was dragged out of the hospital room. One sentence swimming through her thoughts.

Sheridan Holmes is dead.

"Eli, Eli, Eli!" Lestrade said, shaking her by the shoulders.

Eli swallowed and opened her mouth a bit. She was suddenly in the hallway. Her hands were being handcuffed behind her back and Lestrade was staring at her with the same parental worry he always had for Sheri.

Sheri, Sheri, Sheri. Sheridan Holmes is dead.

"What?" she muttered.

"Eli, relax. There is nothing we can do now. Just calm down."

"Sheri...." Eli muttered blankly, "Sheridan Holmes is dead."

***

"Start again from the beginning."

Moriarty rolled his eyes.

"Again? There's nothing left to say. I'm sentenced to death one way or another, and Sheri is dead."

"Just one more time," Lestrade said coldly, "I want you to remember this when you're waiting in-"

"I'm literally waiting for someone to pull the switch." Trevor said, struggling against the straps of the electric chair.

"Fine." Lestrade said coldly. He glared at Trevor one more time before nodding to the other officer to prepare for his execution. "You know what to do." and with that, Lestrade left the room. Leaving all of his hurt feelings in there with him. After all, he had a family. No reason to dwell on the past. Then through the door, he caught one last sentence that made him stop to think.

"Of course it'd be you." Trevor said.

But by the time Lestrade had the thought to see what the criminal mastermind meant, he was already to late to go back and check. It didn't matter, Lestrade convinced himself, He was just a criminal. It was just another tick of the clock. There are thousands of officers Moriarty knew in the station. Then Lestrade stopped walking. He turned and ran down the halls, just in time to see Moriarty's body being taken out of the electric chair.

"Lestrade?" one of the officers asked, pulling the straps of the chair free.

"I want a DNA test on that body." Lestrade said, his eyes wide.

***

"So this is it?" Eli said to Lestrade, Mark, and Linda and the dirt began to fill the hole again.

"Well, we couldn't give her an open casket." Lestrade told her, rubbing her shoulder as she blew her nose again. "There was too much water damage at that point. I won't get into details on how bad it was."

"No, I mean, that's it. She's just gone? No denying it now." Eli stared at the tombstone in front of the slowly filling grave.

"I'm so sorry, Eli." Linda told her.

"It's not your fault, Linda." Eli smiled sadly. "It's that twerp Trevor's fault." Eli looked up at Lestrade, "Did you get those DNA results back?"

"Yeah, dead as a doornail, he's getting buried tomorrow."

"Good riddance." Mark sighed, staring with Eli at the falling dirt.

"She left you both something." Lestrade said, pulling open his bag. Eli and Mark both looked up hesitantly, as if staring would bring her back to life. "I just got her will yesterday."

"She had a will?" Linda asked.

Lestrade nodded, "Surprised me too." he unfolded a square of paper with Sheri's long exaggerated hand writing on it. A sign of her narcism, Eli thought. "'To Linda, I leave a small fortune to pay for my past expenses. Ten million dollars in the hope that she will finally retire and treat herself with the same pampering she did me.'" Lestrade shrugged. "Guess you're a millionaire, Mrs. Hudson."

"Oh, Sheri." Linda smiled through new tears at the tombstone, "You didn't need to do that."

"'To Mark,'" Mark looked up surprised, she remembered him in her will. How surprising that she thought of me as more than a jerky officer. "And this looks like it was added in later." Well, she did eventually. "'I'm giving you the mustang. Do not scratch it or spill anything in it or I will come back from the grave and-' I think I'll skip this part. Oh, this part's about me. 'To Lestrade, please take care of your family, and protect them with all the love you did for me. I'm leaving you my police badge, it's about time I gave that back.'" Lestrade raised an eyebrow at the rest of them.

Eli shrugged, "It's at least something isn't it?"

"Moving on." Lestrade said, eager to keep Eli from crying again. "'To Watson, I'm leaving my cellphone. Remember, you have three tries to get the right combination or it will delete it's memory. I also leave you these words: 'Never give into assumed facts. Keep searching until you find the facts yourself'. Also 'Martin is an untrustworthy slimy jerk, and if you ever find out he's lying then I told you so...just saying...your friend Sheridan Holmes. P.S. Everything else goes to my homies-'" Lestrade paused to make a sarcastic smile, "'-The Buffalo irregulars. Ben Riker, apartment 2Q of Carla road. Remember that people will always need your help, ypu just need to ignore their pride along the way.'"

"Sheri..." Eli croaked.

"Come on, Eli." Lestrade said sadly, "How about we all go out to Anderson's? You look like you could use an ice cream."

"Ice cream sounds good..." Eli muttered, and allowed herself to be taken away from the tombstone and the tired gravediggers.

Sheridan Lynn Holmes

Age 28

May she solve the last

of life's mysteries


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Thu Jan 23, 2014 3:41 pm
Aley wrote a review...



I'm jumping into this off the figurative street for this review. First thing I'd like to say is that the electric chair is not a very popular way of execution any more. According to Wikipedia it was used from 1924 to 1976. The current method of executing death row prisoners is euthanasia, more commonly known [for humans] as lethal injection. While I appreciate that the time frame might be different due to the subject matter and your story might fall somewhere between 1924, and 1976, especially since the original story was written between 1887 and 1927, I think you should decide for yourself what time frame you would like to work with in terms of him having a cellphone and so forth.
Moving on from that, I think you did a good job with how you killed off your Sherlock. Having her dive into frigid depths and not found until much later apparently, seems like a good way to go about it. I do question actually having a body found if you want to do the masterful return, because while it is easy to assume they would keep searching for the body, there's really no evidence they would. Most search parties won't go netting the bottom of a river for a body when it's clear the individual has died.
As for this as an ending, as it seems to be, I'd like to say that it wraps up rather quickly, which is probably a good thing, depending on what you were going for. If you wanted to really tug at the heart strings and give us something to remember emotionally, you should add more in of the emotions in the aftermath. Right now I'm not very connected to the characters jumping in fresh and this is really close to the climax of them all going overboard. Loosen up on your attachment a bit and let the characters get dizzy with emotion, really think about how it would physically feel, and put that in there.

Eli's face went blank. The door crashed open and Eli was dragged out of the hospital room. One sentence swimming through her thoughts.

In this case in particular, you need to add more emotion, less doing, more thought to get that balance of I can feel what Eli is feeling. What's it feel like when you almost faint? What about when you're so struck with something you can't move on your own? Does he bump into anything while he's being dragged out of the hospital? that Was verb is really hurting the second sentence.
Try working in something closer to the now. "Eli stumbled out of the hospital." or "Someone dragged Eli's arm, his body following limbless and asleep." Whatever you want to say, say it without 'was' if you can. It's going to make your writing more active.

Anyway, I hope this helped. Questions or comments or anything and we'll talk again.




WillowCutz says...


Actuall it's quite common for body's to float to shore on the Niagara river, often with no skin and severe bloating.



Aley says...


Oh really? Didn't know that <3



WillowCutz says...


my cousins are messed up. interesting facts yeah... but i turned out fine right?



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Sun Jan 19, 2014 3:52 am
Astronaut says...



Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.

I was just re-reading this, and you said, "He was the 5 of hair colors, five being an orangey number."

Is Trevor a number-color synesthetic? Or just a synesthetic in general?

Also, really? I always thought of five as icy blue, and eight as orange. Hmm.




WillowCutz says...


Clearly our interpretation of number-colors is off. I sort of transferred my obsession with numbers onto him so he's not special or anything. Just obsessive compulsive.....and a sociopath.





Oh, ok.



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Mon Jan 13, 2014 8:26 pm
Deanie wrote a review...



Hey Willow

Sheri is faking her death... right? RIGHT? Just like in the series... right? And is Moriarity really dead as in that's it? It seemed like, too easy. So easy. Your cliffhangers will be the death of me.

What I would like to say in this chapter is just to slow down in general! It can't hurt to wallow in this feeling. It would be nice to see more of Lestrade's serious and solemn mourning, see more of Mark now that who he fancied is dead, and a lot more of Eli. I mean, Sheri was the one who picked her up and helped out the newbie (gosh that seems long ago. You can tell you have a good novel when you can bring your reader through a trip). I think this is a brilliant chapter, a brilliant cliffhanger and I. Want. More.

Nitpicks:

"'To Mark,'" Mark looked up surprised, she remembered him in her will. How surprising that she thought of me as more than a jerky officer.


Mark looked up surprised; she remembered... (Note the punctuation mark)
Also, that she thought of 'him' as more than... sticking to third person. Especially if Lestrade is talking about Mark, then it would be 'you' instead. I didn't get if he was talking about himself or Mark.

Remember that people will always need your help, ypu just need to ignore their pride along the way.'"


Typo on the you.

Really, there is nothing much else to straighten out. Let me know when there is more for me to be reading! I shall pounce :D I love reading this novel!

Deanie x




WillowCutz says...


Well...about book 2...I was writing it and....*coughs* ahem....I uh, started another project so I may or may not get back to it soon. I will be posting my other project as soon as possible, which I think you'll all like. So....yeah there will be a book two.

Remember Moriarty's comment?



Deanie says...


You mean I have to waiiiiiit? Until after this next story? What's the next one about?



WillowCutz says...


I don't want to give too much away, but I always do, i decided the first case shall be simply called "Russia"



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Mon Dec 30, 2013 8:26 pm
Astronaut says...



YOU REALLY LIKE THESE CLIFFHANGERS DON'T YOU.




WillowCutz says...


Yes... And "...." It's sort of my...thing. I'm working on the next book so... Yeah. Not even past the first page.



WillowCutz says...


Yes... And "...." It's sort of my...thing. I'm working on the next book so... Yeah. Not even past the first page.





It's Reichenbach Fall all over again.



WillowCutz says...


Technically it's Niagara Falls. Not Reichenbach Falls as it is in the original books.





Well I mean as far as the cliffhanger-ness goes. BUT SEASON THREE IS TOMORROW.



WillowCutz says...


Yes, :D




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