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Love is like a secret

by PeaceNyumbaiza


Love is secret, its really hard to keep it, Love is a view that you see with all Your feelings, but whats the point of loving if the pain is all I'm seeing?

Love is like a sea, and I'm a fish swimming, planty fishes in the sea,and men can't stop fishing.

Love is not a rumor, Love is a fact, Love is not a movie, so let's stop the act.

Love is a book, wait I'm still reading.

Love is a secret that everybody's seeking, if anybody finds it, they must still look for a way to keep it.

Love is a movie that we forgot to watch

Love is a scene that they only show once

Love is a feeling that you show with your affection

Love is a mirror, but I can't see my reflection

Love is expensive, so You better pay attention

Love is the boss, I'm still looking for employment

Love is a place, but I'm too proud to ask for direction

Love is the answer, but I'm to scared to ask the question.


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56 Reviews


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Fri Dec 27, 2013 6:23 am
ILoveBooks123 wrote a review...



This is Nice,A Nice Poem Everything is really fit the poem!I think everything is my favorite part but there something I notice "Planty is maybe plenty?"

So here's my favorite parts

Love is a movie that we forgot to watch

Love is a scene that they only show once

Love is not a rumor, Love is a fact, Love is not a movie, so let's stop the act.

Love is a book, wait I'm still reading.

Love is a secret that everybody's seeking, if anybody finds it, they must still look for a way to keep it

This really what I feel right now it's really spoke to me and it will spoke to a lot of people around the world.It really clear to everyone that love means a lot to people

It really quiet interesting and clever for everyone

Even if I notice some error it's still good,right?

And I think people will read this more and more than ever

So very interesting poem so keep up the good work and continue writing poems

~ILoveBooks123






Thank yoso much for taking the time to read my poem,and for giving me such good feedback about it, I am glad that you liked it,and I truly appreciate your review :)



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Points: 270
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Tue Dec 24, 2013 12:35 pm
aidanp wrote a review...



This poem really spoke to me, I love it. My favorite line is 'Love is the boss, I'm still looking for employment' cause this is currently how i'm feeling and i believe that this poem is very relatable. Also the last line is very direct and probably sums up what the whole poem is about. I believe that this poem will speak to alot of people and you clearly have a strong understanding of the prospect of love. Overall very good job.






Thank you very much, for taking the time to not only read my poem, but to also give me good feeback on it, I truly appreciate it, thank you so much!



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Tue Dec 24, 2013 11:34 am
ConverseFireGirl wrote a review...



Hey there! I am here for a revieww! :D
I like this poem but I think you could improve it a bit?
My favourite bit in my opinion was:

"Love is a movie that we forgot to watch
Love is a scene that they only show once
Love is a feeling that you show with your affection
Love is a mirror, but I can't see my reflection
Love is expensive, so You better pay attention
Love is the boss, I'm still looking for employment
Love is a place, but I'm too proud to ask for direction
Love is the answer, but I'm to scared to ask the question."

I think it just makes the poem a lot more to the point, you know? And I like the bits before as well, but maybe try to set them out the same way, on separate lines and a bit shorter.
There are some small errors too, but skorlir saw all the ones I saw too, so I wont go over them again to you.
But one little think, on the last line, instead of "to" it should be "too"

My favourite line is probably the line about it being a boss, and you're still looking for employment, I found that quite clever and well thought over.
Keep up the work, with a little editing, this can be amazing! :)
Have a really good Christmas and enjoy your holidays!
-CFG






Thank you so much for reading my poem,and also for giving my your advise and reviewing it! I truly appreciate it :)



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Tue Dec 24, 2013 8:24 am
skorlir wrote a review...



The first line pulls, but its rhyme is obvious. Somewhat childish, even. Which is fine, if it suits the poem. I just don't feel it here.

On a technical note, you ought to write "Love is a secret, really hard to keep it".

Is there a missing line break in the first line?

"Planty" should be "plenty of." Or perhaps "plentiful;" that could work.

Again in the third line, it feels like a line break is missing in the middle.

"fact" and "act" is a very strong rhyme, but also obvious. The placement of the rhyme is somewhat obvious too. One can also rhyme at a slant - meaning one rhyming word in the middle of a line, another at the end of a line, some variation on positions like that, and so forth. Slant rhyming, they call it. (Who would have thought.) It helps diversify one's lines and keep the reader on tiptoe.

5th line: "Love is a secret that everybody's seeking, if anybody finds it, they must still look for a way to keep it."

The second clause, so to speak, doesn't flow with the first. The lengths mismatch, there's no rhyme to cover for their being long clauses to begin with, and the words take up a lot of space. For instance, "anybody" could as easily be "one."

Consider this revision (not really perfect, but it flows a little better): "love: a secret everyone's seeking/if one finds it, one holds it for keeping."

The "movie" "act" "scene" metaphor is pretty much already tired out after its first mention in line 3. I'd not have two more lines dedicated to shows; they don't really add after that.

"Love is a feeling that you show with your affection"... is obvious. Poetry is the unveiling of self through art - specifically the art of expression. A large part of successful art is providing intrigue and perspective. That love is shown with affection - well, that statement just seems to take up empty space. It's not providing perspective, it's just setting up a rhyme.

And the next line, for which "affection" is used to keep rhyme, confuses me. Whatever is meant by love, a mirror which holds no reflection? Is not love usually thought of as something which helps one to find oneself? How would a mirror that gives no reflection embody such a thing? It could be you're really onto something with this metaphor - but I can't tell. Perhaps writing it differently or expanding upon it would help.

The last line is great. The lines leading up to it, mostly lackluster. "Love is the boss, I'm still looking for employment" is actually pretty witty, so kudos. Why love being "expensive" would force me to pay attention, however, I don't understand.

Altogether, the poem has its little gems. But it is little itself, after all. Either the whole is a little gem, or its parts are... well, even if occasionally good lines, they're ultimately forgettable. It doesn't tie things up well or provide new perspective (on the whole - there are a couple good lines, as I said).

So that's my main critique. Write more of the little bits of a little gem - the lines that make logical sense and say something interesting (like line 4), or which just work well for their inexplicable charm and nice rhyme (like that last line) - and just don't write the rest of it at all. Then you'll have a truly awesome poem.






Thank you




A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.
— Unknown