z

Young Writers Society


12+

The Spark - Ch. 2

by Iggy


Tally's POV

One hour. That's the time the Peacekeepers have given me to say good-bye to my loved ones.

Mother and Father come in first. Father is so proud, he tells me with a big smile on his face. He's pleased that his baby girl was chosen to represent District 2 as the female tribute in this year's Games.

Mother also congrats me, but her words sound flat and weak compared to Father's. She drifts over to the barred window and gazes out, pretending to look at everything but seeing nothing. Her focus is on us, listening as my father holds my hands in his and speaks to me in a hushed voice. He promises to send me trinkets when I require them, to help get me sponsors, and to support me as best as he can.

Seconds pass before I work up the guts to say what's been on my mind for the past few minutes. "Father? What if I die?"

A low sob comes from my mother and she's in front of me, crushing me against her chest.

"Stop that! You should be honored that Talitha was chosen," Father hisses, casting a wary glance at the door. "Pull yourself together, Camilla."

Mother ignores him, pressing her lips to my ear. "I love you so much. I'm so sorry."

The door is opened and rough hands pry my mother off of me, pushing her out of the room. My father follows, stopping just inside the door frame to say, "Make us proud."

Then he's gone, and I can hear the ghost of the words he wanted to say floating among the particles of dust that dance in the sunlight. Or else.

The door opens and closes, nameless people with faces I never recognize. They congratulate me on my success, wish me luck, talk about the styles and themes of which I'd look best in when arriving at the Capitol, and tell me how fortunate I am to be the mayor's daughter.

"Surely you'll get an abundance of sponsors!" One lady coos, turning to glance at her husband. "Aren't I right, dear?"

"You're bound to make it past the first night," he agrees.

"And it doesn't hurt to earn you some more sponsors! With that pretty face-"

"and that golden charisma-"

"Why yes, I think I'll be betting on you, Talitha," she beams, reaching out to brush my bangs out of my eyes. Her sharp red nails lightly graze my skin and I hold back a shiver.

"Time's up." The door opened for what seemed like the millionth time and two Peacekeepers came inside. One directed the couple outside while the other turned to me.

"The train is waiting," she said in a cold voice.

There wasn't much to see once I boarded the train. Just the usual District 2 stuff; tables made of mahogany, sterling silverware, meals big enough to feed many families.

At one of the booths was the other tribute, Jed, easily recognizable by the signature tousled black hair he was famous for.

He flashed me a toothy grin as I slid into the seat opposite of his. "Hey. How you feeling?"

"Good. You?' I responded, a bit flat compared to the friendly tone his voice held.

"I'm doing alright," he answered cheerfully, picking up a cookie and nibbling on it. "Did you know the mutes will bring you whatever you want, at any time? Ohh Tally, these cookies are amazing."

"Mutes?" I muttered, twisting to look behind my seat. By the automatic doors is a woman, dressed in white. If it wasn't for the blonde ponytail, she could've blended into the train's walls.

"They're called Avoxes, and they are only to be spoken to when you need something." Lisette, the District 2 escort, calls out as she enters the room, forced to crouch so her powder blue beehive doesn't get knocked off by the door frame.

Lisette sends the Avox off to get her a cup of chamomile tea, then takes the seat beside Jed. She flashes me a similar toothy grin, which I promptly return. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Jed frown.

"Alright darlings, in all my years of escorting District 2 tributes to the Captiol, I've not once had a gorgeous pair such as yourselves. You'll simply blow them away once the stylists get done with you!"

The doors open once more and in comes the Avox, followed by two more people. The Avox quickly sets the cup of tea down in front of Lisette and moves out of the way, allowing me to see that the people that have joined us are Anastasia and Creed, two of the countless victors of District 2.

Anastasia is tall and slim, beautifully statuesque. She won the 68th Games by using her good looks to gain sponsors, then used the throwing dagger set trinket to brutally hunt down her opponents. Creed used his muscular built to strangle and crush the skulls of his opponents in the 70th Games. They are two of the most admired victors of my district and I have the sneaking suspicion that my father specifically requested Anastasia as my mentor.

Once introductions have been made, Anastasia turns to me and confirms my thoughts. "Your father tells me you're good with daggers."

I'm about to respond when Lisette cuts me off. "Not now," she hisses, and Anastasia nods curtly.

"Come with me, Jed. We have much to discuss." Creed says in his gruff voice and Jed stands up, sliding out of the booth. He shoots me one last confused look before Creed's beefy hand is upon his shoulder, steering him out of the room.

"I'll leave you two to it, then." Lisette nods, flashing another smile as she follows after Creed and Jed.

The automatic doors shut and it's silent for a moment, then I turn to face Anastasia. "Why did they have to leave?"

"You do understand how this works, correct?" she responds.

"I go to the Capitol, I train, then they take me into the arena and I fight until I die."

"You fight to survive." she corrects me. Her hands rise to tighten the ponytail holding her long black hair back, and I notice a long scar that runs down the length of her arm. That's when I remember that in the final showdown in her Games, a tribute from District 5 took one of her own daggers and tried to slice her arm open in the hopes that she'll die from blood loss. Anastasia managed to throw the guy off and slit his throat open before she passed out in a puddle of their combined blood. The Capitol sent their best surgeons to work on it, but it was too big of a wound to heal entirely. The best they could do was patch it up and leave a faint scar.

Anastasia smiles when she notices what I'm staring at. "I got lucky. Could've lost it entirely, but they got me before it was too late." she explains, then lowers her arm onto the table, hiding the scar once more. "But that's neither here nor there. I'm going to ask you another question and I want you to think long and hard about it. What are you willing to do to survive?"

"Anything." I respond immediately.

"Ahhh, you didn't do as I asked," she chided.

"I don't need to think long and hard about it. I know that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to survive."

"Oh really?" Anastasia asks, then jabs a finger in the direction that Creed, Jed, and Lisette went. "And what about Jed?"

"What about him?"

"Are you willing to kill him?"

It takes a few seconds for me to process the information, then I say quietly, "I hope I'm not the one to do it."

"Talitha Celosia. I'll ask you once more. Are you willing to kill Jed?"

"Yes." I whisper.

"I'm not convinced. I'm your mentor, Tally. It's my job to keep you alive, and in order for me to do that, you need to listen to everything I tell you. Do you understand? That means if I tell you to cut off all of your hair, you will cut off all of your hair. You jump when I tell you to jump and you duck when I tell you to duck. And if I tell you to prepare to kill Jed, you prepare to kill Jed. And you need to trust me when I tell you that once you're in the arena, Jed will not hesitate to kill you. In fact, Creed is telling him the exact same thing I'm telling you right now."

Her words make me stammer, trying to find the words to tell her that she's wrong, but I can't, because she isn't wrong.

"Now you already know that once you're in the Games, you form alliances," Anastasia continues. "You'll want to pair up with Jed, District 1, and District 4. Then you'll hunt down the other districts. But you know, and I know, that once all the other districts are out of the way, your allies become your enemies. Which is why you need to stop thinking of Jed as a friend and start thinking of him as a temporary ally."

"But-" My voice comes out weaker than I expected.

"Only one person makes it out of the arena alive, Talitha." Anastasia stands and leans over to give me a pat on the back. "Why don't you go to your room and get some rest? We'll discuss more tomorrow."

The Avox girl shows me down the hall and makes a left, then a right. She attempts to make another left but suddenly stops and dips her head respectfully. When she moves, I see Jed standing there.

His dark blue eyes find mine and he studies me silently for a moment. I try to gauge his expression but it's closed off, and he brushes by me before I have a chance to speak.

That night, I dreamt of dark blue shadows that shimmered around me, and daggers that flung out of nowhere and reopened gashes that ran down the length of my wrists.


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Sun Apr 06, 2014 4:25 pm
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Deanie wrote a review...



Heya Iggsies!

So here for the second chapter as promised. This is going to be notably harder to review so excuse if this was short. I did find it to be the better chapter. And I was surprised that we're getting more than one main characters point of view! Different districts too which makes this more interesting. I liked how we saw her dad was proud and her mother was in bits - it just shows that not all people follow what the Capitol thinks they should be like when they hear the news. Especially in the upper class. When people get chosen in District 2 though, aren't there people who usually tend to volunteer instead? I doubt she would've. Maybe you can tell us how she was picked and she could tell her dad had made sure no one volunteered or something else like that which would make it more believable.

Descriptions <3 Especially of Jed! I loved the moment when he just seems to be assessing her, as if he himself is gathering the wits to be able to defeat her if the time calls for it. I love it!

Okay, all I've got is the initial point I mentioned. Apart from that, flawless. I also really liked how she just seemed so blasé about the food... I'm pretty sure Stitch's reaction will be totally different!

Pretty please continue this?

Deanie x




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Thu Dec 19, 2013 6:40 pm
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thegirlwhowrites wrote a review...



I really enjoyed reading this. Beautifully written, simple but catchy and I loved how you kept it true to Suzanne's story. My favourite part was actually when went into depth with Talitha's mentor, transporting us into the past and letting us in to see the history of smaller characters makes readers really connect.
I absolutely love The Hunger Games and I really want to see how you continue with this novel. As for criticism, maybe one suggestion I would make is to add just a bit more detailed description. Both of the characters and the setting. That way, I can really envision it as you do.
Sorry if this is a bad review, it's my first time on this website!
*three fingered salute*




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Thu Dec 05, 2013 9:00 pm
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Nate wrote a review...



First Hunger Games fanfic I've ever read, and it's interesting to get the viewpoint of someone from another district -- especially from the point of view of a tribute from one of the wealthier districts. To highlight that, you added in some nice details, such as two mentors, the father being proud, and the familiarity with nice things (such as a mahogany table).

However, I never got the feeling that this person is actually from district 2. From what I remember, all tributes from District 1 and 2 are either volunteers or personally picked to represent the district (as opposed to the random draw for other districts). As a result, I would've expected Talitha to sound more confident and have a greater awareness of what's happening; that is, she would've known that she'd be representing the district for at least a period of weeks, if not months. Instead, it seems like she's just now learning that she'll be in the Hunger Games. And even if she did just learn, it seems like she'd be more confident. But, I think you can keep this as is if she were instead from District 4 or 5.

Exposition wise, there was really only one paragraph that caught me:

Just the usual District 2 stuff; tables made of mahogany, sterling silverware, meals big enough to feed many families.


What you're going for here is to establish that District 2 is wealthy, and you do succeed in doing that. However, the way it's conveyed comes off as far too direct. Instead, aim for being subtle and express how familiar Talitha is with these objects through her interaction with them. For example, maybe she casually sits down at the table to eat a salad, and she actually not only puts a napkin on her lap but also picks the right fork. Just something that establishes she's comfortable in the opulent surroundings and knows how to conduct herself.

Overall, I thought this was pretty interesting. As mentioned above, I like the small details such as how there's two mentors, and I also like not only the father's reaction but the mother's reaction as well. The dialogue between Talitha and her mentor was also quite believable and fun to read. Well done.




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Thu Nov 28, 2013 6:27 pm
TimmyJake wrote a review...



I was only meaning to read this cause I don't usually like fanfiction, but this one is an exception!
Timmyjake here to give you a review!
Firstly, I love how you make everything seem so realistic. Nothing is shaded over from your character, making her life seem a fairyland like some authors do. She is in danger.
Now what year is this? 71? It isn't anywhere katniss is involved, is it? If you do go all the way to the games, add haymitch in there. I think he would be a good addition.
I was going to criticize that it starts too fast, but then I noticed that it was chapter two. Now one thing that I don't get is the name of the chapter. What is the spark in the chapter?
Your grammar seems perfect, as does your spelling. I won't criticize that there are no indents. Every work that I have put up has had the same problem, even if there were indents on the word document I uploaded.
Good job on it, I think! Very realistic! I think that she and Jed should team up, but I wouldn't want her to kill him. It would seem too morbid if you ask me. Hopefully Jed doesn't get turned to the way Creed thinks! There seemed to be something between them before, even if it was only on her side!
Keep writing! I will look for the first chapter!




Iggy says...


Honey, of corse there's a first chapter. If you'll look to the right, you'll see the link to chapter one.

It's called The Spark because that's the name of the novel.



timmyjake says...


Ah, ok! The name does sound hunger gamyish. I will read it.



timmyjake says...


I'm sorry. But I don't get it. The names are different in the second chapter!



timmyjake says...


Wait a sec. They're from different districts! Oh! The two main characters. Makes sense now. Sorry, Iggy!



Iggy says...


Thanks for the review. :)



timmyjake says...


Yep!! :)




By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach.
— Winston Churchill