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Young Writers Society


18+ Language Violence Mature Content

Bad blood

by Mindfang


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

Sasha Brooks was normal. She had been normal since the 25 August of 1997, her birthday. She got average grades, had an average amount of friends, got a normal amount of trails in her life and she usually got through them without any help.

Yes, Sasha Brooks was a normal girl, in a normal city of a normal country. Never once did she look at a plane a wish she was some where else like adventurous people do, instead, she would think of how much noise it was making.

She sighed as she walked home, her hands stuffed in pockets and her earphones on. She was humming along with the lyrics of the song. It was a hot day, the weather man saying it would go over 40 degrees today, and she was really regretting wearing jeans. “Why didn't I listen to the weather man” she groaned as she shielded her eyes from the sun with the back of her hand as the sun beat down on her.

Sasha lived several blocks away from her school, which made her walk even harder. But as her Mother said that this neighbor hood was great and the price for the rent was just too good to refuse. She could understand this to be honest, ever since they had moved in here money stopped being an issue. Not a big issue has they had to get welfare but it just meant that she couldn't go on school trips and that they had to be economical with petrol.

Her mp 3 was a gift from her Dad last Christmas, Sasha picked it out and her dad fussed that it was so old and he suggested to get her a phone that would also play music but she had refused. Her parents had separated when she was seven and Sasha was angry at her parents for a while but she came to terms with it when she was 12 and got over it. But her Dad was dead now. He had died in a car crash on new years eve drunk out of his mind.

She paused her music to skip a song but then the noise of someone panting caught her ears. Turning her head, she saw her neighbor, an old Greek woman, struggling with her bins. The old woman waved at her “Ah Sasha, could you help me please?”. A smile spread across her face as she jogged across the street, set the bins up right and even wheeled them back so they where close to the door.

“Oh you are such a good girl” Hera squeezed her cheek, pinching it lightly. Sasha always liked walking past her house, the garden always looked so pretty and she always waved at her. “Sasha, could you help me with the garden? I hate to ask you but it's just so hot”, the teenager could only nod. This woman was one of her mother's friends and she would probably tell her mum about this as well.

Her skin was olive and wrinkled, and her hair was gray but she frequently dyed it and put it up and low pony tails. Hera had never married Sasha noted as she saw no ring on her finger. Hera always wore long, deep blue dresses and a massive white cardigan. Hera was quite short and she was plump but that was to be expected since she could never exercise much.

“What do you need help with?” Sasha asked as she took of her jumper after putting her back pack down on her front porch. “I just need you to weed the gardens and water the plants” she smiled at her. Hera showed her the backyard and her eyes widened. There had to be weeds as long as her legs for Christs sake. “I'm sorry to make you do this Sasha, it's just my nephew promised he'd clear the weeds but he didn't show and I'm too old do this much work” the Hera said. Sasha's plans of saying she had homework to do in the middle of the job went out the window.

“Do you have any gardening gloves?” she asked and she was given a pair. They where pink. She tied her up in a high pony tail, admittedly it wasn't a very good pony tail, then she pulled the nearest weed. This took for effort then she has expected. She yanked much harder this time and the weed cam out of the ground. She threw it on the ground.

This continued for the next hour and thirty minutes. Sasha's arms where screaming at her to stop, her arms, jeans, face and arms where covered in dirt. She was also sweating bullets. Hera clapped happily “Sasha you are a saint! I made some lemonade for you” then she was offered a glass of the sweetest yet bitterest lemonade she had ever had in her entire life but she still drank it. “I can water it, you can go back home young lady” Hera playfully said, before pinching her other cheek. Great, now both of her cheeks where tingling.

She picked up her backpack along with her jumper and walked to her house. She opened the door to see her mother filling out the local newspaper and sipping her coffee. “I saw you helped out Hera with her garden” she smiled at her, and Sasha nodded. “That was very nice of you Sasha” her mother spoke to her and then she went back to her crossword as Sasha walked to her room.

The house they lived in was always clean and smelt like lemons. Maybe it was the shampoo they used or maybe it was the candles her mother always light. Once she was in her room, she tossed her bag on the floor and flopped herself onto her bed. A low groan escaped her as she kicked off her shoes.

Sasha soon lifted herself off her bed and walked into her bathroom, towel in hand. After having a quick shower and changing into her pj's she walked into the kitchen to see her mother cutting up some vegetables. Her mother looked at her “Isn't it a little early for pj's?” she asked her and Sasha laughed “It's never too early for Pj's”.

“Can I help?” she asked her and her mother shook her head, her brown hair tied in a pony tail. Her aunt would say she was looking more and more like her mother, the same brown hair and the same brown eyes. But they still had their differences, her mother was a champion fencer in high school, college and university but the most Sasha had achieved was that she could fix cars.

Yes, Sasha was a motor head but a closet motor head. She was always ashamed of a passion that she thought was for guys. Se walked to the couch, sprawling herself on it and then turned on the TV. She stayed like that for an hour, she only got up when it was time for dinner.

They had salad with vegetables and a small verse of pork. Stabbing her fork into a carrot, she heard a small crunch and she put it in her mouth. Her mum always cooked the vegetables crunchy. They where extra crunchy tonight. Her mother was wearing a white shirt with a long, casual red skirt. “So how was school?” her mother asked, her brown eyes looking into Sasha's brown eyes.

“It was okay I guess” she mumbled between bites. “ 'I guess', did something happen?” she was asked and Sasha mentally groaned in her head “No, nothing happened mum”. She frowned and then she said “Eat your lettuce”.

“But I hate lettuce”

“I hate tomato's but you still see me eating them”

Sasha gave the lettuce of her plate a dirty looking before stabbing it with her fork. She glared at the leaf before putting it in her mouth. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. This could only fuel her hatered for lettuce. Her mother always had been a bit of a health nut, always giving her fruit to school and always serving vegetables for dinner.

Looking to her left, she saw all her mother's trophies, medals and awards she had won for fencing. And above all the trophies was a pair of fencing swords. Next to all the trophies where pictures of Sasha when she was younger. She drank the rest of her water, stood up and picked up both her plate and her mums.

“Your being so polite tonight” her mother smiled at her as she slid the plates and glasses into the sink as she filled it up. Then her smile fell “What do you want?”.

Busted

“Weeeeeell” she said nervously and her mother raised an eyebrow, “I was just wondering if I could look under the hood of the car. Her mum frowned “I don't know, I mean, it has been humming for a while but” then she trailed off. Sasha's eyes brightened “I'm just as good as a mechanic and I can do it for free!”

“I guess, I could let you look at it and see what you could do” her mum said and Sasha squealed “Awesome!” and then she ran in to hug her mum “Thank you!”.

The car Sasha was going to look at was her mum's had it had been giving off with awful rattling sound when it went over 60 mph. It was quite old but it still worked well and her mum just couldn't get rid of it. It was deep blue and Sasha washed it very week and made sure it was kept clean.

They finished washing up, watched some TV until it was 10 o'clock then Sasha said she was going to bed. Her mum was fairly relaxed about bed times, but she had made it clear that no matter how late she stayed up she was going to go to school, weather she liked it or not. After having a glass of water and placing it near her bed side table, Sasha went to bed.

Her dream was nice, she had a dream that she was in a forest and exploring it but then the dream changed, she was floating in the air. Then she started to fall and she woke up with a jolt. She starred at the ceiling for a while before turning her head to look at the time. 2 am.

Sasha could never get back to sleep after she had woken up, so she slowly got up. She might hop out of her pj's and look at the car, maybe have some breakfast. But Sasha was frozen in place when she heard a small cry from outside her room.

She walked to her door, careful for the creaky floor boards and peaked threw. Her mother stood in front of the hallway, holding her fencing swords. Her mum had tried to teach her how to fence but Sasha was no good at it and gave up but Sasha recognized the pose her mother was doing. She was using an attack pose.

“You fucking cunt” she heard the low growl of a pains voice, then the feral sound of something ripping was heard and the man let out a grunt “You cut off my fucking ear, you bitch” the man snarled at her and Sasha felt herself starting to shake.

The man laughed and Sasha felt tears starting to roll down her cheeks and her knees starting to wobble.

Then her mother moved, the air filling with blood, the sound of the hallway mirror being broken and the man and her mother let out small cry’s. Sasha’s eyes strained to see what had happened but she soon saw it as her eyes adapted to the darkness, the man had forced his hand into her mother chest and she could see his hand.

A warm wet liquid started to trail down her legs then she realized that she had wet herself out of fear but she didn't care. She reached for the nearest thing she could find, but she only knocked down her alarm clock. The noise echoed through the whole house. The man chuckled, tossing her mother's body a side. Then Sasha felt someone grabbing her hair and dragging her down the hall. She tried to rip away his hand but it was no use. So many question ran threw her mind, how did he moved that fast, how did he get in. But the main question was, what's going to happen to me?

He slammed her back onto he mirror, still holding her by her hair in place. Sasha's eyes looked at him, he was in the his thirties, and blood was flowing from his right eye and trail of blood flowed from his right ear. He moved her so her neck was exposed and he sunk his teeth into her neck. It was like knifes where being stabbed into her neck. Sasha's world started to fade, she could feel the broken shards of the mirror stabbing into her back.

She could feel her heart beat fading and her vision fading.

Her eyes trailed to her mother's corpse and she looked into her mother's eyes, then she mouthed 'Fight' to her daughter. Fight. Fight. Fight. Fight.

Adrenaline started to pump faster then it had ever in her body. She felt her hand wrap around a shard of a mirror and she stabbed it into his neck. The man screamed and Sasha stabbed him again and again. This was not how she was going to die! This was not how her life would end and this was not how her mother would die either.

Once she had stopped stabbing him, it was like she was frozen. She could only stare at the ceiling, as lost feeling in her toes, then it started to spread. Sasha didn't want to move. She was just numb. Her vision started to fade, but she was quickly felt herself vomit. It seemed to bring her back to reality and she vomited again, coughing and sobbing.

She had just killed someone. Sasha was a murderer. She was shaking and she started to cradle herself back and forth. She kept crying, “I'm a killer” she cried, tears rushing down her face. The howls of her sobs echoed throwout the house.

Sasha looked her mother, a puddle of blood around her. Sasha crawled over to her mum, ignoring the pain of the shards of the broke mirror stabbing into her knees and hands. Once she had finally reached her mother, she looked into her mother's blank eyes.

Her mother had died before she could reach her.

Sasha broke down. She held her mother, cradling her head to her chest as she sobbed. “Mum I'm so sorry” she cried. “Mummy” she cried “I should of, I should of” and she trailed of in her sobs. What could of she done to stop this?

Maybe she could of tried harder with fencing? Maybe then mum could be alive. It should have been her to die, not her mum. She kissed her forehead then specks of blood fell onto her mums forehead and she wiped them away. The more blood fell. Sasha looked up at the ceiling only to see pure white ceiling. Then she touched her eyes.

Sasha was crying....blood. She turned her head to look into the mirror. Her eyes widened in pure terror when she realized she couldn't see her reflection in the mirror. She looked at her hands, dried blood coating her fingers.

“I love you so much Mum” she said to herself, as she pressed her back against the wall, bringing her knee's to her chest. Tears started to roll down her cheeks and she looked at the man's body. His eyes where open.

She starred at him. Sasha starred at her sin.

Slowly standing up, using the wall for support and walking into her room. Sasha picked up here backpack, emptying it's context. Her books and pencils feel onto he floor and she stepped over them, beginning to pack her bags.

Sasha would be named a killed if she reported this to the police, and she had no immediate family so she would be sent to foster care. She had to leave. She had to distance herself from all of this.

She had managed to fit all her clothes in two bags, then she realized one thing. Money. Sasha slowly walked into her mother's room, inhaling her scent. Opening up her dresser, she saw a small book and she opened it. Passports, and Sasha quickly took hers. Sasha took the cash and started counting it.

Two thousand dollars. Sasha quickly stuff it into one of the bags. She was still shaking and she walked out of the house's.

Then she started to run.

'Rest in peace mother' she said and then Sasha Brooks, who was no longer a normal girl, disappeared.

Sasha walked the streets of a her new home. She had lived here for a few months, she had gotten a job as to clean cars and she also worked as a waitress in a restaurant. But she wasn't at work, she was waiting. A lump filled in her throat as she thought of what she was about to do. This was so wrong but, she had to.

She heard the sound of someone walking into 'her' little alley. Sasha sat on the edge of her window, her legs dangling at the end. Sasha was renting out an apartment, admittedly it wasn't a great apartment but it was the only thing she could afford. The man walking in her alley whistled at her and Sasha felt her cheeks flush.

The man was obviously drunk, Sasha could tell by the way he walked and she could smell him from her one story apartment block. She quietly moved from her little perch by using the ladder. The man turned around and he slurred “Wanna have some fun sweetie?”.

Sasha didn't answer as she walked closer to him and he spread his arms out to her. She grabbed his arm and started to squeeze it. “Hey, wait what the fuck are you doing to my arm” he nearly yelled and Sasha used her other hand to cover his mouth. Sasha felt sorry for him and she frowned, letting his hand slip between her fingers but she soon regretted it when his fist smashed against her nose.

She felt a trickle of blood from her nose and she snarled after she touched it. The man ran past her to get to the street but Sasha wasn't about to let him go. She ran after him, proving herself much faster than him and grabbed his shirt.

He sobbed “Please let me go” but Sasha wasn't listening anymore. She threw him into wall and he grunted, falling onto the floor. Sasha kicked him a few times, her eyes glowing red and her mouth set in a snarl.

The man, with black eyes, tanned skin and brown hair looked at her, blood rolling from his forehead and tears rushing down his face “Y-y-you monster!”. Sasha felt a pang in her heart but it only seemed to make her angrier.

“I'm not a monster” she growled to him but it was also to herself. Sasha grabbed his collar, bringing him up and pushing against the wall. Sasha then sunk her teeth into his neck. The man froze, then he started to struggle even more, pulling her hair, hitting her and kicking her.

Salsa pulled away, grinning at him. She always felt like this after a feed. It was blissful. “You are going to go straight home, am I clear?” she told him, using a trick she had learnt. The man nodded, his eyes glazed over and he started to walk out of the alley, leaving Sasha.

A laugh started to bubble in her throat and she licked her lips. It felt like someone had wrapped in a blanket of happiness and told her everything was going to be okay. She sniffed the air around her then winced, it was like something had died was around her.

Her high was soon over after she had whiff of that awful smell. Sasha sniffed the air again, walking out of the alley and she got a better whiff. The smell was even stronger and her eyes widened in pure horror when she saw a lone figure standing the other side of the street.

Fear hit her like a train. How long had they been standing there? But a bigger question rose in her mind. What was she going to do? Sasha ran across the street lighting speed, getting ready to tackle the person.

“Stop” their voice said and Sasha froze.

It was like their voice had so much power in it, Sasha began to shake and she looked at the person. They blew some cigarette smoke in her face. “Look at the ground” they ordered and she was looking at the ground. She heard the person move, they put their foot on her head and smashed her face onto the ground.

“What the fuck are you doing” they growled to her “Just what the fuck are you doing?” they asked her.

Sasha was shocked, she thought that she was top dog in this city. She was faster, stronger and she was sure she was immortal as well. Granted all the knowledge on her abilities was from T.V and the few vampires novels she had read at school.

“Who are you?” she asked them.

“None of your business” they snapped at her, kicking her in the between her neck and shoulder. She yelped, her shoulder erupting in pain. She could feel tears welling up but she furiously blinked them back. The person, no, the monster, grabbed her neck, making her look at it.

There eyes met. Sasha starred into it's eyes and they starred back. Their grip had moved, they where now squeezing at her throat but she could tell they weren't even trying. As she looked into their eyes they looked like they where looking at themselves. For a few tense moments the vampire held their eye contact but it felt like their presence had changed from one to anger, to confusion and then to anger once again. They growled “What the fuck?”. They grabbed her hair, throwing her like a rag doll. She was winded as she hit the brick wall's of the alley. She was shaking, fear coursing through her as she shock.

The figure stopped, lighting a cigarette, taking a long drag. “Fucking disgrace” they growled, walking out of the alley, leaving Sasha.

She coughed, using the wall to help herself up. Her fingers grazed against her neck, wondering if they had cut her on her throat but it seemed not. After this incident it had put Sasha off of hunting for sevral days, which was the longest she had went with out blood ever since she had been turned.

Using her tongue to feel around in her mouth, she was jolted back into reality as she accidentally cut herself with her own K9. She was so hungry. But Sasha knew that thing was still in the city, she could smell them a mile away. She had guessed that the creature could probably smell her as well.

It was amazing just how scary one person could be, the power in their harsh voice and hot touch. Sasha walked as night fell, her hunger growing with each step as she inhaled the sweet scent of the humans around her.

Burning. That was what she could feel on her neck. The smell of burnt flesh filled her nose and she turned her head, her eyes looking into the monsters eyes. “You're in luck brat” they smirked, moving their hand from her neck, flicking a cigarette onto the ground, putting it out with their bare foot. They looked at her like piece of meat, like they where seeing where she was strong and weak. The monster moved their fist again, swinging it at Sasha.

It cracked straight into her jaw, making the vampire spit up some blood. The injury hurt so much, it was like their they weren't even human. Everything snapped into placed and Sasha asked them “Are you a vampire?”

They laughed “No”, cracking their knuckles “I'm much worse”.

Bam, first story on this site. Go me


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Points: 240
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Tue Nov 19, 2013 3:45 pm
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Oh.My.Potato.That was effing amazing,hahaha I wanna know what happens now sooooooooo badly.




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Mon Nov 18, 2013 4:00 pm
lostthought wrote a review...



I don't know why but people forget to say this. Also I don't know the date so I guess welcome to YWS! You need some improvement badly but since this is your first story, I need to tell you t get use to harsh reviews.

First- you need to work on your capitalization better. There are many things that need to be spelled better.

Second- as mentioned below, I saw punctuation and grammar issues. You need the quotation marks outside the period.

Third- when you have the part after she runs away, you didn't elaborate enough. How did she know she was a vampire? When did she start feeding? You just skipped a huge part here. If you are not planning on putting in on here, I suggest that sometime later you have a flashback about what had happen or something like that.

~lost




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Sat Nov 16, 2013 5:00 pm
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FireFox wrote a review...



Hi, Mindfang! FireFox here to review your piece, Bad Blood! My reviews are typically written like this: I first list three of the main things I think you can work on to make your writing even better than it already is, and then I write about two or three things that I thought you did exceptionally well.

Needs Improvement:
1. There are quite a few grammar and punctuation issues. I.e. “Ah Sasha, could you help me please?”. You are missing a comma after the word "Ah," and the period at the end that you have outside of the quotation marks can be nixed. There's no need for it, being that you already have the question mark inside the quotation marks. I saw a few other minor things like this, but just decided to use this as an example, since I know others will nitpick every little grammar issue.

2. I was a little confused about exactly how Sasha's mother died. Did the "monster" rip her heart out of her chest or something? Maybe I'm just misunderstanding how it was written, but it didn't seem clear to me. And, as an avid reader, I do not like to be confused about anything. I just suggest making the cause of death a little clearer.

3. I feel that a big chunk of this piece was unnecessary. Rule of thumb is: if it does not contribute to your end goal, it's not necessary. I.e. The whole spheel about Sasha helping Hera with the weeding in the yard. I mean, it shows us that Sasha is a kind-hearted girl, but it doesn't exactly contribute to the over-all goal of the story, does it?

Okay, to be honest, I am not at ALL a vampire, sci-fi kind of person. Not in the least. I am a realist and love realistic stories, psychological thrillers, that kind of thing. But I decided to review something I wouldn't normally review and this is what came of it. I have to be honest in that I really enjoyed this piece, and I didn't think I would since it's about vampires and "monsters" of sorts. I have to applaud you on completely surprising me! I like the direction in which this piece is going and I hope you will continue it and let me know when more is posted!

-FireFox




Mindfang says...


Thank you so much for reviewing! It makes me even happier that you did the time to critique it. But it makes me even happier that I made you interested in my story, even if vampires and monsters aren't your thing but that just makes me even happier!!!!!!!!

Thanks a lot!



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A beautiful funeral doesn't guarantee Heaven.
— Haitian Proverb