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Transitions

by brokenStrings


People say that being a teenager is one of the happiest parts of their lives. During these years, we undergo several changes because we are in the stage between childhood and adulthood. But despite the happiness we enjoy in this age, we still experience problems. These problems can arise from the freedom we have in our age. We teenagers are free to make decisions for ourselves unlike when we are young where we still need the help of others. This freedom can be used to satisfy our curiosity. We are always interested to know about the things that are happening around us. We want to try things that are new to us because we think that it can’t hurt to try. This curiosity can lead us to situations that could harm us, or worse, something that we cannot escape from. When the situation left us with no options, we may have the tendency to be impulsive. We just choose to do the first thing that will come into our minds. Because of these attributes, teenagers face problems that involve one’s self, others, and one’s family.

Decisions. We make it every day. In the things that we do, making decisions are always involved. But in those situations, there are factors that can hinder us in making the right decision. One of them is stress. The demands of our teenage years can make us stressed out. Being stressed can greatly affect how we perform the things that are required of us. Another factor is curiosity. We want to know what will happen if we do a certain act. Our interest in the outcome of the act may cloud the way we make a decision. We teenagers are most curious about sex. Some schools offer sex education which deepens our curiosity about the topic. Our curiosity is deep enough that some of us eventually try to do it. Because of this curiosity, a lot of teenage pregnancies occur. According to Steiger (2013), recent numbers report 330,000 babies born to teens ages 15-19. The girl will have a different life than the time she was not yet pregnant. She is now responsible for the life of another human being. She now has to care for the child for the rest of her life when she should still be enjoying her teenage life. Being pregnant at a young age can also affect the girl’s health. She can be stressed on the things that should be done for the baby. When the baby cries in the middle of the night, she would be tired the next day due to lack of sleep. She will be out of sorts because of the tiredness she feels. Other girls, when they felt or think that what they’re going through is too much, sometimes rely on drugs. Devon (2013) said that the partnership at DrugFree.org and MetLife Foundation are confirming that one in four teens now abuse or misuse prescription drug at least once in their lifetime.

Aside from the problems we experience within ourselves, it is also expected that we would be experiencing dilemmas with other teenagers. One of them is peer pressure. Peer pressure according to the article entitled, Peer Pressure: It’s Influence on Teens and Decision Making (2008) is probably more accurate to refer to as peer influence to adopt a particular type of behavior, dress, or attitude in order to be accepted as part of a group of your equals. For us teenagers, as school and other activities take us away from home, we spend more time with our friends than we do with our parents and siblings. As we gain more freedom, our friends play a great role in our life. As we spend more time with them, pressure can be hard to refuse and we might be compelled to do something that we didn’t like in the first place. Wang (2013) said, in a growing body of work, including research published in April, scientists suggest that we are more vulnerable to peer pressure than adults because we get greater pleasure from behaviors we experience as rewarding. Peer pressure can indeed coax us into doing illegal actions. When our friends decide to do for example, go to a party in an abandoned warehouse where there will be alcoholic drinks and drugs. We are tempted to join our friends because of our desire to fit into a group that we are taking the risk that the police will bust the party and we are arrested. Another example is when a group of people in school persuades us to rob a certain establishment so that you can be included in their group. This may be the reason that other people will avoid us. People will not keep in touch with us as a result of the notion that we have a bad personality because of what we’ve done.

These problems we encounter can make a gap between us and our family. We teenagers sometimes consider our parents as meddlesome people that don’t mind their own business. When they ask us about the things we do, we tend to not answer their question, snide, and rolls our eyes at them leading to miscommunication. Our family will have the inclination to assume about the things that are happening in our life and can misinterpret our actions. They wouldn’t know what really happened and they would just set rules for us to follow. Nowadays, we teenagers seldom talk to our parents about our life. We usually stay in our room, do our own routine, and just ignore them. This can result to less bonding time with our family. Oftentimes, we prefer the company of our friends than that of our family. By spending a lot of time with our friends, we do the things that they also do so that we will not be left out. Usually these things that we do with our friends are illegal in nature. Because our parents do not know the things we do, they could doubt us. This could accumulate until we have lost their trust.

These are just some of the problems teenagers face today. Freedom, curiosity, and impulsivity are some of the causes of it. These problems can involve our self, other people, and our family. It involves our self because these problems can lead us to terrible decisions. These decisions may take us to inescapable situations like teenage pregnancy and health problems. It also involves other people because they can be affected by our decisions or they can be the reason why we did such things. Our family is also involved because they can help us in making our decisions. However, miscommunication occurs because we ignore them. Our bonding time will be limited because we seldom talk to each other. Also, we can lose the trust of our parents if our actions continually lead us to bad situations.


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Sun Oct 13, 2013 6:44 pm
KnightTeen wrote a review...



Hey, I am Knight Teen from the Green Room Knights here to provide you with a review.

I thought that you wrote this essay very well, using facts to support your topic as well as experiences that as teenagers we all go through. That makes this easily relatable to.

Your spelling and grammar are very good, but I do want to point out several things to you.


This curiosity can lead us to situations that could harm us, or worse, something that we cannot escape from.


The final section of your sentence doesn't really connect with the rest of it. You should probably add a few words to make the transition a little more smooth.

Decisions. We make it every day.


Your first word is plural, but the word in the second sentence referring to it is singular.

Peer pressure according to the article entitled, Peer Pressure: It’s Influence on Teens and Decision Making (2008)


I italicized it here to distinguish the article from the rest of the sentence. I advise you to do the same.

Because of these attributes, teenagers face problems that involve one’s self, others, and one’s family.


This is your thesis statement, correct? It needs to be revised slightly and used as the concluding sentence. Whatever you do, don't repeat it.

Everything that I say in my reviews is merely a suggestion and as the author it is up to you whether or not you heed it.

Overall, I thought that this was very good.

KT




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Sun Oct 06, 2013 3:20 pm
Lauren2010 wrote a review...



Hi there brokenStrings!

You have a lot of great information in this essay, and it's great that many of the facts and date you include are from reputable sources (and are cited in the essay!). You cover a lot of ground on a really broad topic, which is awesome, but it can also feel a bit disorganized at times.

What this essay is really lacking is a thesis statement. Start here and the rest of the organization of the essay will fall into place. Basically your first paragraph ought to tell us what it is you're going to argue in this essay. It seems that this argument is "being a teenager is hard" or "bad things happen to teenagers because being a teenager is hard". It's not exactly enough to say this, though, especially considering we all kind of know it's hard to be a teenager if we are/were one. Try focusing this point more, perhaps to something like "being a teenager today is much harder than it ever has been", and then many of the points you bring up can be the evidence to support this assertion.

I would also suggest framing the argument in a more positive light. Being a teenager is hard today because of the expectations put on us by ourselves and others, the ease of bullying and self confidence issues brought on by prevalent technology, the rising rate of teenage pregnancy due to lack of proper sex education courses (right now the essay seems to suggest that sex education causes teen pregnancy, which is actually untrue. Sex education that resorts to scare tactics and refuses to inform young people about how to have safe sex is what leads to an increase in teen pregnancy because teens don't know how to properly protect themselves from pregnancy), etc. And also, not all teenagers have terrible lives or make bad decisions! Lots of teenagers have great relationships with their families and lead happy and healthy lives. Sure, most teenagers encounter problems "caused by" being a teenager, but not all suffer so greatly as this essay suggests. So I would suggest keeping away from the generalizations, which will make this a much stronger argument.

Just cleaning things up like this and adding some organization will make this essay really great! Best of luck!

Keep writing!

-Lauren-





Who wants to become a writer? And why? Because it’s the answer to everything. It’s the streaming reason for living. To note, to pin down, to build up, to create, to be astonished at nothing, to cherish the oddities, to let nothing go down the drain, to make something, to make a great flower out of life, even if it’s a cactus.
— Enid Bagnold