Young Writers Society

"This is pointless." Sheri pointed out, twitching as she stood in the fake crime scene. Lestrade stood next to her with a stern look on his face.

"If you want to get off grunt work, then you have to take and pass this."

"Yeah, but before I start, there's something you should know about the other six times I took this exam."

"And that is?" Sheri almost answered, but before she could the examiner, a burly inspector named Levi Walsh walked over and shooed Lestrade away to watch from the sides.

"Sheridan Holmes." he said holding a large, tan hand out for her to shake. She shook it nervously. "This is a test crime scene, tell me what you think." Sheri looked around at the testing space, it was a large field they'd driven to for quiet and privacy. The crime part was the fake murder victim with fake bruises and stab wounds with red paint splattered across the grass.

"Well, I think that the mannequin is most likely a retired store mannequin made for women's clothing. The murderer of this plastic person used a standard ten inch kitchen knife and the paint is highly inaccurate if it is symbolizing blood."

"Yeah, but what do you think about the murder?" he insisted, motioning to the plastic body. Information was of course flashing in front of Sheri's eyes, but it was not the information she needed.

"I think the painter of these bruises was left-handed, used a course brush, and that they left in a police car. I see that the person walked up from that direction, she pointed to a spot close to Lestrade who was standing by the road and police car. "And walked back in that direction after splattering paint in that direction." she pointed in the opposite direction. "How'd I do?"

"You failed." he said scribbling on a piece of paper with a disappointed frown on his face, and they both walked back to the police cars.

"I failed." she told Lestrade when she got there.

"What? I thought you wanted to be a detective!"

"I do, I just couldn't pass." she crawled into the passenger side of the car, followed by Lestrade in the driver's side.

"I don't understand. You can solve a real murder, but you can't solve one little test?" she slumped in the seat, embarrassed by herself.

"I don't see it like you do, Lestrade." she told him as they drove down the road. "I see the facts not the templates. Genius doesn't test well."

"Well that was modest." he said sarcastically. Sheri gazed out the window sadly. "So, all this time you've been failing. You haven't been faking?" she shook her head.

"I think I'm gonna quit the police." she said quietly.

"What!?" he yelled, "But we need you."

"I don't fit in here. People think I'm crazy, I'm not allowed to use my head, and I'm failing all my tests. It's just like high school all over again. I work better alone."

"So you want to be a private investigator?" she shook her head.

"Consulting detective." she decided, "I like the ring of that. Just call me anytime you people get stuck for an answer. I'll be there as quick as possible."

"What about money?" he said pulling onto the highway with one eye on Sheri.

"I have 943 million in the bank." she said calmly. Lestrade nearly slammed on the breaks, but fortunately he remained in control of the vehicle on the high speed road. "I'll be fine on my own."

"MILLION!" he yelled.

"Just remember to contact me about these sort of crimes. I don't think I could stand the boredom."

"934...million." Lestrade muttered.

"Lestrade!" he turned to face her.

"Sorry. I promise. It's just, millions?" she stared out the window again.

"Yeah I stole it from my family before I ran away. It's the boredom that really gets me, though."

***

"Wait a dang minute!" Eli interrupted again.

"What?" Sheri said, arranging chicken bones into a tower.

"This whole story was about how you get bored, wasn't it!"

"Little bit." she said waving over the waiter. "An order of the hottest wings, uh, Rita." she told the waitress.

"I thought it was cool." Ginger said, sipping her Pepsi.

"See, Watson, Ginger the ginger thought it was a cool story."

"Yeah," Reese interjected, "But why did she have the wife killed anyway?"

"Well actually you see Mrs. Suresh's maiden name was Bin Laden. The government has tried really hard to keep all his half-siblings safe, but Catherine found out and, viola. She had her boyfriend kill her for revenge on 9/11."

"So all of this was because of her son?" Candy asked.

"He was a pilot on the first plane."

"That must have been horrible for her." Ginger said sadly.

"It probably was, but it does not justify killing two people and kicking a dog."

"She kicked a dog?" Eli asked Sheri leaned herself back in the chair.

"Obviously. I speak from experience when I say that when a dog is trying to rip your leg off you kick him." The doctors looked at each other. "I have a scar on my leg, but you can't see it cause of my complexion." Sheri gabbed her soda and sipped it happily.

"Do all of her conversation end in her getting mortally wounded?" Ginger whispered to Eli.

"Usually they end in 'Shut it Watson'."

"I'm not sure if I should do the cliche and repeat that phrase." Sheri said smiling sarcastically at Eli.

"Never stopped you before."

"Good point. Shut it Watson." the two smiled.

"Okay," Reese said, "Why couldn't you pass the test crime scene?" Sheri paused for a second, then grabbed her pipe out of her navy coat pocket. Gently she filled it with her mixture of tobacco and lit it. Smoke billowed from her mouth before she could answer again. The group of doctors, except for Eli, all stared at her disgusted.

"I find that my mind has been so filtered for finding facts that I throw away anything that doesn't fit the real picture." she blew smoke up into the atmosphere. An old woman next to her sneered at the smell of her smoke. Suddenly she looked up at the disgusted faces around the table. "What?"

"Sheri..." Eli said, "You can't smoke in here."

"I don't see a sign." she said making a ring of smoke with her mouth.

"It's kind of a law." Ginger said.

"And really bad for you." Candy added. Sheri shrugged.

"Ma'am?" a waitress said, Sheri looked up from her pipe at the short waitress with red dyed, boy-cut hair. "You can't smoke in here."

"What is everyone's obsession with me smoking!" Sheri yelled.

"It's a New York State law." the waitress said.

"Well I'm a cop!" Sheri insisted. Eli shook her head.

"No, you're not!"

"Was a cop." Sheri said trying to start a staring contest between her and the waitress. "I work for them anyway."

"Then you should know not to smoke indoors." Sheri blew an insubordinate puff of smoke through her ebony pipe.

"I still don't think it's a law." she said.

Ginger picked up her spoon and began to fish around in her soda.

"Ma'am just put the pipe out." Sheri stared at the waitress angrily.

"I am a citizen of the United Kingdom! How dare you tell me-" Sheri was interrupted by the sound of steam coming out of her pipe, from an ice cube that Ginger put in there. Sheri's head spun back at the red-head. Ginger bit her lip and shrunk back in her seat.

"Well, as long as you understand the rules." the waitress said, turning to go back to work.

"AND I BET YOUR BOSS WOULD BE HAPPY TO KNOW THAT YOU SKIPPED WORK YESTERDAY TO GO TO THAT FALLOUT BOY CONCERT!" Sheri yelled, shoving her pipe into her pocket. "I better go." Sheri leaned her chair up right and began to pull her long navy coat back on. "Nice to meet you all."

"You too." Ginger said, suddenly getting over her fear that Sheri was going to kill her.

"Yeah, it's good to know Eli didn't quit medicine for nothing." Reese said waving his big hand.

"I'll see you back at 6A Eli. And don't forget to pick up Andre at the hospital." Sheri nodded a goodbye and walked out cooly with the click of her heels as her goodbye.

"Who's Andre?" Candy asked, sipping her Pepsi. Eli rubbed the back of her neck.

"A dead guy..." she said. Candy and the others nodded and avoided eye-contact. They obviously forgot about the psychopath's strange hobbies.

***

"Welcome back." Sheri said, lying on the carpet stretching her leg over her head in black yoga pants and a tank-top. Eli walked in and pulled her coat off. "You bring Andre?" Eli sat on the couch and watched Sheri stretch her legs farther than should be humanly possible.

"First, stop calling your scientific corpses by name." Sheri breathed in heavily, "Secondly, I'm not picking up your corpses."

"Why not?" Sheri looked up from the ground and her face turned bright red, then she faced down again to help the blood flow through her body.

"Because people look at me weird when I pull a body bag onto the subway." Sheri sighed and let her leg down with a gasp. "You could let me use the car if you want me to pick up the corpses."

"I'll pick up my own corpses." Sheri said, standing up with the crack of her joints. She grabbed her coat off the pink armchair and began to leave.

"Hey Sheri?" Sheri turned and pulled her hair out from under her coat collar. "Thanks for being so nice to my friends." Sheri smiled.

"They weren't as moronic as-"

"Just accept the thank you." Eli interrupted.

"I accept." Sheri said, and the two girls left apartment 6A.

Once they were gone the sound of the window opening was heard from inside the bathroom. A small man stumbled onto the top of the toilet cover. He smoothed his black gelled hair back and stretched his gloves over his wrists.

He jumped off the toilet and sneaked into the main room. Quickly he ran to the bedroom and closed the door almost completely behind him.

His small hands searched through bottled of powdered chemicals and piles of books and the odd deadly weapon until he found the box with her tobacco in it under the houndstooth bedskirt.

"Why can't you just leave the pipe?" the small man heard through the door. Quickly he pulled a vial of poison and poured it into the shredded leaves.

"It helps my thinking." Sheri said through the door. Mr. Knight ran across the hall and through the bathroom window just as the front door opened. Sheri walked in looked around the room and stopped. "On second thought..."

"What?" Eli said watching Sheri look around the room.

"I think I'm going to take you up on that offer to stop doing drugs." Eli looked confused.

"Really?"

"Yeah..." Sheri nodded, "I think you're right about the smoking problem. How about I stop now." Sheri walked past Eli back into the hallway. Eli followed her out and closed the door behind them.