Well that class was the worst. I got bullied and paper planes thrown at me the whole session, guess who by…mhhmNate! This has to stop, but I can’t tell the teachers. They won’t believe me, because Nate is the principal’s son. Why does it have to be me? Why not one of those nerdy kids that walk around with their shirts tucked in and there big nerdy glasses? What is so wrong about me? I mean I know I’m different, but everyone is.
“Hey. Andy.” That angel’s voice filled my ears again.This is the second time today she has spoken to me!I spun on my heel to face her. “Wait up. So I’ve been thinking and well, I’ve got the perfect plan.” she said excitedly.
“Really, you want to help me. But he is your brother.” I said.
“Well yeah, but he is really mean. I don’t like the way he treats you Andy. It’s not nice. So I was thinking maybe because he is my brother. We could come up with a plan.”
“I’ve got one. We can put hair dye in his shampoo. So his hair is blonde, whatcolourshould we make it?” I said getting excited about this prank.
“Ooh. Black and pink, maybe blue.” She said jumping up and down. “He hates black hair. When I dyed mine he said I looked like a ridiculous Emo.” she saidsignallingquotation marks for the wordEmo.
“We’ll put black in his shampoo and pink in his conditioner. If that'll work?” I said.This is going to be good!
“How about we put black in the shampoo and when he is sleeping as he is a heavy sleeper. I’ll bleach his fringe and put pink in it!”
“Perfect!”
“So you should bring the black dye and I’ll bring the pink. Meet me at my house after school.” she said.
Ahhher house, I’m going to her house!She gave me her address.
“S-sure.” I stuttered. She giggled, and then walked away.
“Hey you! Stay away from her.” Nate said coming up and slamming me against some lockers.He kneed me in the stomach, and punched my jaw.
“Dude, I can’t help that your sister likes me.” He punched me hard again in the rib then my stomach. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” I pleaded with him. “Let me down.” I said as he lifted me up off the ground. I kicked his leg.
“Oh.” Nate laughed. “The little Emoboy is trying to defend himself.” He had me in a tight grip, and I felt a tear slip down my face. I quickly wiped it away.
I love how it started off. His thoughts about the class he was just in and the problems he faces. What really got me was that the boy that he is bullied by is related to everyone he, Andy, can talk to!!! I mean the principle!! That was a small twist in the story. Also I have been seeing that you didn't place many spaces were they needed to be. It's okay, just read over it so small errors like that don't mess up a great piece. The story seems like it is being rushed a little too. I mean this girl barely spoke to him before and it's like the moment she sees him being bullied BY HER BROTHER, no one else, she wants to step in. She gives him her address and everything!! Also at the ending he said the bully had him in a tight grip......how can he wipe away a tear......with his shoulder? Plot holes, please work on them!! 
Points: 45
Reviews: 17
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