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140,788 Literary Works • 673,688 Reviews
I was waiting for review day to happen so that I can review this!
So. Your story. I really like it. But you forgot to add: characters, plot, theme, setting etc.
Good start, but, grammar. Don't forget to put a full stop (.) after a finished sentence!
The ending, hmmm, it needed a but of oomph. Like the secret could've been like a twist ending of some sort.
You had it all 100% correct on spelling as well. 50% on grammar.
Well, that's all I can really say. Hope this helps!
Hello there here is a me with a review for this peace of work I hope it helps you out some by the way this is for review day so hope you don't mined if I make this short.
OK is a really good start but I think you need to put a little tiny bit more to this story or maybe you were going to say something on a chat or on a discussion who knows but why is it so small?
Or you were trying to post a story that is if you know how.
But I don't think this is for a DT or something of the sort.
Good work with the spelling though. XD
If you need help form a prow let me know I ma not a prow about some thing you should ask around for a Mentor and then you might get to know the website a little better.
Until later "May god be with you and good luck."
~Jon~ :pirae3:
Hopes it helps.
Forgive me if I rambled.