The Secret

by Samm885

Published April 27, 2013

12+ Violence

In Secret

PreviousNext

Ok

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
GlitterGabbi
Review
GlitterGabbi wrote a review Review · Apr 28, 2013

I was waiting for review day to happen so that I can review this!

So. Your story. I really like it. But you forgot to add: characters, plot, theme, setting etc.

Good start, but, grammar. Don't forget to put a full stop (.) after a finished sentence!

The ending, hmmm, it needed a but of oomph. Like the secret could've been like a twist ending of some sort.

You had it all 100% correct on spelling as well. 50% on grammar.

Well, that's all I can really say. Hope this helps!

User avatar
Jonathan
Review
Jonathan wrote a review Review · Apr 28, 2013

Hello there here is a me with a review for this peace of work I hope it helps you out some by the way this is for review day so hope you don't mined if I make this short.

OK is a really good start but I think you need to put a little tiny bit more to this story or maybe you were going to say something on a chat or on a discussion who knows but why is it so small?

Or you were trying to post a story that is if you know how.

But I don't think this is for a DT or something of the sort.

Good work with the spelling though. XD

If you need help form a prow let me know I ma not a prow about some thing you should ask around for a Mentor and then you might get to know the website a little better.

Until later "May god be with you and good luck."

~Jon~ :pirae3:

Hopes it helps.

Forgive me if I rambled.



“I am not worried, Harry," said Dumbledore, his voice a little stronger despite the freezing water. "I am with you.”
— Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince