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Monsieur De Lacey

by Searria H.

Okay, friends. I really need your help on this one. We have to write a sonnet for English to a character from Frankenstein (I chose the blind man, De Lacey). Our question or concern must reflect on of the themes from the book, and the sonnet must follow all of the structural rules. I'm way out of my comfort zone, but that's no excuse for mediocrity! *epic music in the background* But I have my white flag ready. Halp!

Do you owe nothing to those struggling?
The weak doth look to the strong for guidance.
As the bird soars among the clouds, singing, 
His wings are envied by the earthly ants.

Abandoned by a river were the twins
To be found by an unlikely mother.
If the fierce wolf saw not their furless skin,
Should not all men call each other "brother"?

Of material riches you have none,
De Lacey, nor have you God's gift of sight.
But for this wretch no more could you have done
Than to rescue him with love from his plight.
As stories tell, love be not proud, but blind.
Thus no better man than you could he find.

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83 Reviews

Points: 1115
Reviews: 83

Tue Jun 11, 2013 7:02 am
skorlir says...

This is, for all appearances, an excellent sonnet. Although I must permit some uncertainty - I am not well acquainted with the intricacies of sonnets. My only difficulty is the middle stanza. I presume this passage makes some arcane reference to Frankenstein, the book - which I have not read. Regardless, all other passages, even without having read Frankenstein, were clear. So perhaps this needs some thought (although it is surely far overdue by now :P).

Be forever hortatory,


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1314 Reviews

Points: 23411
Reviews: 1314

Sun Mar 24, 2013 9:55 am
Hannah wrote a review...

Hmm. It's been a while since I've read Frankenstein, so I have no idea who this character is. So I won't be able to give you advice on that, but I'll just give you my opinion of the poem as a separate piece of work.

I understand sonnets have meter than needs to be followed, but what I don't like is sticking in silly, stiff, old-sounding words to try to make the message sound higher (ex: doth). It says exactly the same thing to say "The weak look to the strong for guidance" and way less pretentious! haha~ Maybe personal preference?

As for the logic of that point, I think you went a little askew. What guidance do the ants look to the birds for? They might envy their wings if we personify them, but what does that do in the way of guidance? Your message is of caring for those humans that cannot care for themselves, and that's not comparable to seeing someone with wings and wanting them. Should the birds rip the wings from their bodies to give to the ants? The ants couldn't even use them. It's just not exactly the best comparison, i think.

I think the second stanza could use a little review. You call the wolf a mother, but at first read through, wolves seem more masculine, especially when paired with the adjective fierce. So at first I didn't realize the mother was the wolf because of that conflict. Of course~ You can break down whatever animal gendering stereotypes you want. hehe.

Lastly, I don't understand why this poem is written to De Lacey but seemingly ABOUT this wretch. Like, okay, the book's not titled De Lacey, but I think a poem celebrating him would be about him and not end, "He could find no better man than you", which makes De Lacey the object, not the subject, you know?

Anyways! This is poetry review~ Maybe not so helpful for your assignment. I'd say it's probably acceptable for the assignment, other than the ant logic. If that could be fixed, it would be better. hee~

PM me if you have any questions or comments!

Good luck~

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662 Reviews

Points: 52441
Reviews: 662

Tue Mar 05, 2013 12:54 am
dogs wrote a review...

hello there Searria! Dogs here with your review today :). Well I certainly was greatly anticipating this sonnet of yours. Fortunately, sonnet's are a strong suit of mine from all the Shakespeare work I did. I'm not going to go into content and wording yet, but first let's start with the lines that had too many syllables.

"so then must all men call each other 'brother.' "

Okey dokey, so this line has 11 syllables because "brother" and "other" are both two syllable words. A good way to fix this up is saying: "now all men must call each other 'brother.' "

"De Lacey, nor have you enjoyed God's gift of sight."

I'm not entirely sure how many syllables it takes to properly pronounce "De Lacey," but I doubt it's less than two. Depending on how you say his name (unless you can magically say it all in one syllable) this line is 11-12 syllables. I really am not sure how to fix that line.

I'm not going to even go into the proper formation of IP wording, because I doubt your teacher requires it because it's so flipping hard to write in. Anywho! Also, technically every single line should be capitalized. Well by that I mean the first word of each line should be capitalized like it would for a new sentence.

I really can't give much more advice that that because I've never read Frankenstein (although I certainly should). Also, my eyes may just be going on me... but it looked like you but new stanza spaces in the middle of your sonnet. The poem should be one continual block of text with no extra stanzas. All and all an excellent sonnet and I enjoyed reading this piece. Let me know if you ever need a review. Keep up the good work!

TuckEr EllsworTh :smt032

The reason a boat sinks isn't the water around it. It sinks when water gets into it. Don't let what's happening around you weigh you down.
— dalisay