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Young Writers Society



A Caller's Tale (part one)

by phelps18


Dear reader,

Whether you choose to believe it or not, this is a very true story of several very real teenagers. If you see or hear anything that seems similar to something you read in this story, close the book and get rid of it. Trust me, life is much more liveable when you are oblivious to the truth. Even if you are typically just an innocent, curious person, or you believe that you can handle the truth, think again. The people that think they are tough from the beginning, commonly end up the weakest. So, reader, I am going to tell this story one way or another. Whether you're reading this as fictional entertainment, you think you can handle the truth, or maybe your friend just happened to recommend this book, I'm going to tell you the story. So don't say I didn't warn you.

Chapter one: The beginning

“Welcome to St. Josephs orphanage!” Noah (Mr. Bofats) said as a girl walked into the room. Noah was a short, plump man. He had short brown hair, and side burns that connected to a short beard. He held out his arms and welcomed into the classroom. “Introduce yourself, girl!”

“Uh hi. My name's Rayne.” The girl's face turned deep red and she looked helplessly at Noah. Rayne had long, curly brown hair that she had managed to tie back. A few strands of hair hung out in front of her face that she continuously brushed them away. She had clear blue eyes and freckles sprayed across her tan face. She was shorter than Noah a little over 5 feet. She wore a faded gray shirt with shorts and converse, although it was mid November. She had a plain black bag slung over her shoulder that was packed tight with clothes and notebooks. She scanned the room, looking for a place to sit. It was a cheerful room. The walls were white with multicolored paint splattered on the walls, the rug had different colored patterns covering it. There was a window facing the street on the far wall, and cars could be heard rushing past. An old TV was sitting uselessly on the left wall. It's cord was unplugged, and old, dusty video tapes were piled around it. A radio was blaring in the corner, and tables were scattered all over the room, each one filled with kids from all ages. Every single eye was directed at Rayne.

Noah cleared his throat. “Jay? Stand up.” A boy in the back stood up. “You're going to show Rayne the school, where her room is, and what she can do around here. The boy nodded and Rayne slowly made her way to the back of the room.

“Hi. I'm Jay.” The boy said with his hand out.

“Yeah I kinda figured.” Rayne said, as she shook his hand. Jay blushed. He had pale white skin, and sandy hair that fell just below his eyebrows. His eyes were dark green. He was much taller than Rayne- she guessed about 6 feet. He had long, lanky arms and skinny legs. He wore a brown shirt and old, tight, blue jeans. A boy sitting next to Jay cleared his throat. Jay rolled his eyes.

“That's Ross.” Jay introduced half halfheartedly. Ross nodded his head. He had short, spiky brown hair. His eyes were blue like Rayne's. He was shorter than Jay. Just taller than Rayne. He wore pretty much exactly what Jay was wearing, but his shirt was green.

“Sup.” Ross tried. Jay and Rayne both rolled their eyes.

“That's Ferris” Jay said, pointing at the boy sitting next to Ross. The boy had blonde hair like Jay, but he styled it like Ross. He was tall- taller than Jay. He was muscular, and he wore a tight, black tank top. He wore blue basketball shorts and black flip flops. Ferris nodded and waved cheerfully. “And that's Alex.” He said pointing at the last person at the table. She had long, black hair, and too much black makeup that contrasted against her pale white skin. She wore a black leather jacket, with a Nirvana T-shirt underneath. She wore Black pants that tucked into tall, black, lace up boots. She looked shorter than Mr. Bofats. She nodded without looking up from her book, The Lord of the Rings.

“That's a good book-” Rayne tried cheerfully. Alex looked up with a strange expression on her face.

“Uh, yea.” she said and looked back down.

“Well, Ross and Jake are playing battleship, and Alex is..” Jay paused and thought for a moment. “Well, Alex I suppose. So do you want me to show you around now?” Rayne nodded.

“Yeah sure that sounds alright.”

“Okay then, follow me.”

:C:

“And here is the key to your room.” Jay finished, dropping the key into Rayne's hand. During the tour, Rayne had found that St. Josephs orphanage had an Olympic sized swimming pool, a food court with almost every possible food choice, a full out science lab, (and classrooms for all of the other subjects) and a full sized store that was open almost everyday. “Oh, and sorry that you have to room with Alex..” Jay said sympathetically. Rayne shrugged.

“It's okay, I'm sure we'll be fine.” Rayne said optimistically. Jay nodded slowly. “Oh, where's your guys rooms?” Jay perked up.

“Actually, our rooms are right there!” Jay said, pointing at the rooms on either side of Alex and Rayne's. “Ross and I share that room-” He said pointing at the room on the left, “and Ferris has his own room.” he said pointing at the room on the right.

“Greaaat.” Rayne said sarcastically.

“Hey!” Jay said, playfully shoving Rayne. She laughed. “Well, dinners starting soon. We should probably get down there.” Rayne nodded and they walked down the stairs, talking and laughing.

:C:

At dinner, Rayne sat in the middle of Jay and Ross, Jake sat next to Ross, and Alex sat next to Jake- who seemed to be the only person Alex liked talking to.

“So Alex,” Rayne started. Alex unwilling looked at Rayne. Rayne cleared her throat. Alex's eyes turned Rayne's blood cold. “Uh, so I guess we're room mates then?”

“Yup.” Alex said and then went back to talking to Ross. Sorry! He mouthed. Rayne smiled. Suddenly Ross smacked his hand on the table.

“I've got a plan.” He said, in a serious tone of voice.

“A plan for what?” Jay grunted, as if Ross always had a dumb plan.

“Rayne.”

“What?” She asked, slowly getting annoyed.

“You and me are going to the movies tomorrow.” He grinned and nodded, as if he had just thought of the most ingenious plan.

“Uhh okay.. Ferris, Jay, Alex! You should go too!” She looked at Ferris. Her eyes pleaded him to agree. Ferris shrugged.

“Okay, Jay, Alex, You wanna go to?” Ross glared at Jay, willing him to say no. Jay smiled.

“Yeah sure I'll go!” Ross kicked him underneath the table. “So it's a date.” everyone laughed but Ross and Alex.

“Alex?” Rayne asked.

“Whatever. I'll go.” She snapped.

:C:

After dinner, Ross, who possessed the key to him and Jay's room, stormed angrily upstairs. Jay hurried after him, hoping not to get locked out. Alex just disappeared. Rayne and Jake stayed

at the dinner table, each with a bowl of ice cream.

“So where did you come from?” Ferris asked Rayne. Rayne shifted uncomfortably in her chair.

“Well, my mom left me and my dad after I was born. My dad died when I was 6. I hardly even remember him. I got shipped off to a boarding school in San Francisco, but strange things started happening there as soon as I arrived. Windows shattered when I got angry..” She paused. “It sounds crazy, but when I got angry, the weather outside seemed to get angry. When I was happy, it was sunny and there wouldn't be a cloud in the sky.. The weather always seemed to match my emotions. So when I was 8 they sent me to an all girls school in Oregon. It seemed pretty normal until my 10th birthday. When I opened one of my presents, one of them exploded. The present just burst into flames, but that wasn't even the weirdest part. The present had love Dad scribbled across the top. The present nearly burned down the school, so the administrators figured I was trying to pull a prank so they kicked me out. I was sent to a boarding school in Connecticut.. That was the worst. Not a week after I arrived, a kid stole my back pack and threw it in the river. A tree seemed to just rip itself out of the ground and almost smashed the school. The wind picked up and seemed to spit my backpack back out of the river, and it landed by my feet. I guess they couldn't find a way to blame me for that one, so they let me stay. They said I had one more chance, and everything went perfectly normal after that.. until last week. When I got back to my room, someone had gone threw my stuff. I think they were looking for something.” Ferris nodded, as if Rayne hadn't said anything peculiar.

“So you don't think I'm crazy?” Rayne wondered. Ferris laughed and shook his head.

“No, I believe you.” Rayne sighed in relief. “That's why you're here.” Ferris said.

“What?” Rayne asked.

“Ah so Noah hasn't told you yet.” Ferris grinned. “So what do you think the person that broke into your room was looking for?” Rayne shrugged.

“Probably wanted to cheat off of my homework or something.” Ferris nodded, but he didn't look convinced. “So anyways, after they broke into my room, I told my teacher, Mrs. Brusch. She checked the cameras, but the only person that ever walked into my room was me. She said that I was trying to get kids and trouble and told me to go to class.”

“Could they have come through the window?” Ferris asked. Rayne shook her head.

“My room was on the 6th floor. And nobody saw a ladder or anything. So a few days later, I was studying in my room, and the whole outside wall literally exploded. Mrs. Brusch burst through the door and started screaming at me. She never let me explain that it wasn't me. She just yelled about how I was obnoxious, immature, etc. She told me I had 2 hours to pack my stuff and I was getting moved to a school in New York City. Best news I'd heard in a while actually. So now, here I am.” She said simply.

“So, when the wall, you know, exploded, did you happen to be frustrated or angry?”

“Yea! How did you know?”

“Never mind. Why were you mad?”

“Well, I was getting frustrated, because before my dad died, he gave me a locket. I've never been able to open it, and I was angry that all he would leave me was a locket that I couldn't even open.” Ferris nodded.

“Do you still have the locket?” Rayne nodded and unclasped a chain that was hidden under her shirt. She handed the necklace to Ferris.

He looked amazed as he slowly took the necklace.

“You got this from your dad?” he asked. Rayne nodded.

“Why? Do you know how to open it.” Ferris slowly shook his head. He looked at the necklace. It wasn't much. It had a cheap, rusty, silver chain. At the end of the chain hung a plain gold sphere. Ferris gave the necklace back to Rayne.

“Uh I've gotta go” He said. He suddenly seemed distracted and hurried up the stairs. Rayne frowned and walked up the stairs.

“What was that all about?” She wondered aloud as she turned into her hallway.

“What was what about?” a bitter voice asked. Rayne jumped and turned around. Alex was leaning against a wall with her arms crossed.

“Uh nothing..” Rayne said. Alex walked forward.

“So they thinks you're one of us huh?”

“Uh, what do you mean, one of us?” Rayne asked nervously. Alex threw her head back and laughed.

“Oh you don't even know? You're so cute.” Alex snapped. Rayne looked around.

“Uh I'm just gonna go now.”

Wait.” Alex said, putting her arm in front of the door blocking Rayne from going in. “Let me see it.

“See what?” Rayne asked starting to get annoyed, and slightly worried.

“Oh don't play stupid.” Alex growled. “Let me see the necklace!”

“I don't-”

“Alex!” Ross shouted suddenly as his door swung open. Rayne sighed in relief. “Leave her alone!” Alex glared at Rayne and went into their room.

“What was her problem?” Rayne asked. Ross shrugged.

“Just ignore her.. She's just messing with you.” Ross assured. “Hey you can, er, sleep on the couch in me and Jay's room if you want.” He offered awkwardly. Rayne smiled.

“Thanks, but Noah said boys and girls can't share rooms.” Ross shrugged.

“Okay- well, good luck. See you tomorrow.” he turned to go into his room. Rayne slumped against the wall and slid down to the floor.


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User avatar
18 Reviews


Points: 990
Reviews: 18

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Sun Mar 03, 2013 11:11 pm
EatSleepRead1120 wrote a review...



Hey, EatSleepRead here.

Nice story.... it's really interesting.

I only have one question though: is Ferris a nickname for his real name Jake? I was confused over that part.

I like the fact Ross likes Rayne. I always look for a little romance in a story.... :)

So yeah.... Great great job on the story!

Keep writing! :)
~Renee




User avatar
67 Reviews


Points: 610
Reviews: 67

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Thu Feb 28, 2013 2:03 pm
Auxiira wrote a review...



I've done the same as you, but try not to start your story by a block of description. Include it later on in the story, tie it to other places. What you've done is called an info-dump. You do it again with the descriptions of the other characters.

She wore a black leather jacket, with a Nirvana T-shirt underneath. She wore Black pants that tucked into tall, black, lace up boots.
The repetition of "She wore" at the beginning of both sentences is awkward. Maybe try: "She wore a black leather jacket with a Niravana t-shirt underneath coupled with black pants that she had tucked into tall, black, lace-up boots."

Well, Alex I suppose.
You need a comma after "Alex".

Oh, where's your guys rooms?

This is awkward, maybe try: "Where are your rooms, guys?"

“Well, dinners starting soon.
You need an apostrope in dinners since it's a contraction of "dinner is".

Jake- who seemed
Comma instead of the dash.

Not even a week after I arrived,
maybe, it sounds a little better.

gone threw my stuff
Through instead of threw. (threw means is "throw" in the past)

So they thinks you're
"they think"

I like this, it seems like it's going to be a really good story. The warning at the beginning is like The Spiderwick Chronicles, they had one at the end of all of the books.
I can't wait to read more!

Hope I helped and keep writing!
Auxiira^^





The idea that a poem was a made thing stayed with me, and I decided then that I wanted to be an artist, not just a diarist. So I put myself through a kind of apprenticeship in writing poetry, and I understood even then that my practice as a poet was deeply related to my reading.
— Edward Hirsch