z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Dancing: The Escape

by stargazer9927


This was an assignment that our teacher gave us last semester. I was super nervous about it, but I'm really proud of the final result. The idea was that we had to write a short story using the letters of the alphabet. If anyone would like to try an exercise like this, please link me to it. I would love to see it :)

Abby was a very kind, very smart, and very insightful young lady. Before her father left, leaving just her and her mother, she was on the debate team, the national decathlon, and the dance team. Catching the bus home every day was now the only thing she really did, as she felt she didn’t have time for things like that, because she needed to help her mother. Dancing was still a part of her, though, as she tried to attend Saturday classes when time would permit. Eric, a boy she saw there when she went, always tried to talk to her, but she never seemed to want to pay attention. From the leg movements to the way she waved her hands, dancing was the only thing that was on her mind when she came. Giving a boy the time of day just wasn’t something she thought she had the time for, as her time with dancing was very limited.

Hilary, their dance teacher, was the best dancer Abby had ever seen. Imagination, the one word she used to describe the best dancer, was the main thing that Abby had taken from her. Just as Abby was feeling confident about her ability to use her imagination to dance alone, though, Hilary did something she wasn’t expecting: she talked about dancing partners. Knowing that Abby had never danced with a partner before, Hilary decided to pair her up with the best on in the class, telling her he could help her learn really easily. Lived, Abby stated to Eric, “I don’t come here very often, so you probably won’t have a partner most of the time.”

Memorized by the way her lips moved, Eric didn’t seem to be very concerned at all, rather he was staring at her, watching the way her lip went into a tight scowl, how her hazel eyes almost looked a bit red when she was angry, how her long hair came up in her face like she could never get it to stay down, how she stood on her toes like she was always walking on eggshells, how her stare made him feel like she was staring right through him, and counting every freckle on her face like each one was important. “No problem,” he said simply.

One thing about Abby was she couldn’t stay mad at someone if they weren’t mad at her, even if she got mad first. People often used that to their advantage, but there was something about Eric that made her realize she should probably stop and enjoy working with him.

Quietly, he came up and took her hand, not saying a word. Regretting that she had never stopped to get to know him before, Abby realized how amazing of a dancer he was. She seemed to be in a trance, although she wasn’t sure if it was actually because of him or just because of his amazing dancing. Time would only tell, but for right now she wasn’t going to think about that, because she really didn’t care.

Understanding every move he would take, it seemed as if she could read his mind, even though she had never danced with him before. Vision seemed to be coming back to Abby; not because she was blind, but because she was seeing something in a way she had never seen it before. Whether it was life or him she wasn’t sure. X-rays might as well have been in this very room, because she felt like he could see right through her.

“You’re a fine dancer, Abby,” he said as we finally stopped and he let go of her hand.

Zoning out, all Abby remembered after that was his dark blue eyes.

Note: I hate dancing. I like to watch it, but I would never actually do it.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
102 Reviews


Points: 928
Reviews: 102

Donate
Tue Apr 01, 2014 6:28 am
View Likes
katngo73 wrote a review...



I love this story. It's got a wonderful rhythm and romantic thought to it.
You fit the A-Z thing in perfectly! I didn't think you'd be able to do it.
There was only one problem, and it's only a tiny one.
"Memorized by the way her lips moved, Eric didn’t seem to be very concerned at all,"
Memorized should be Mesmerized, right?
Yeah, that's all. Keep writing! This turned out brilliantly, and I love it!
<3




User avatar
52 Reviews


Points: 467
Reviews: 52

Donate
Tue Apr 01, 2014 12:01 am
View Likes
catcha01 wrote a review...



Hi, Catcha01 here with a review!

First and foremost it was a nice story. It was romantic in its own way and it was cute. That made it very enjoyable to read and I'm really happy to review.

My only suggestion for your story would be to please elongate it. I was reading it and I wanted to enjoy it as long as possible, but there are a lot of aspects of the story in which you left undeveloped which in all took a way from the story. For example I know taht your story is a pice of fiction, but it isn't really possible to fall in love with a boy just by his dancing. If they can thats amazing, but I believe that if you can make these essential parts of the stories longer it would improve it a great deal.

Anyway, I loved this story. I liked the main character and how she found love through dancing. Great Job!

Happy Writing!

~Catcha01





You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.
— Joyce Meyer