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Young Writers Society


12+

Taking Back The Strip

by LordFabulous


Foreword

This story is set after the ending events of the game 'Fallout: New Vegas', where the Courier (player character) sides with the legion who take over the Mojave Wasteland. If you do not know of this game then the story will not make much sense, but read it anyway! Also this story can be continued, so if you would like to see more of it then let me know, and I will write it. The speech in italics is thoughts, so I wrote them with apostrophes rather than speech marks.

The Strip

The Courier walked through the New Vegas Strip, now a mere shadow of its former glory,

“Legate, you asked for me?”

The Legate stood in the street, almost completely ignoring his presence. After some time, the Courier asked again,

“Legate! What is it you wanted?!”

He turned this time, however his expression was mostly hidden behind his mask, which was still stained with the blood of the Chairmen. But still through his mask I could see the anger in his eyes.

“Now listen, Courier. You may be important around here, and you may have some influence, but I am your leader, and you will not speak to me in that way!”

He glared at me through his mask, and the Courier couldn't make any attempt at glaring back, it was too risky.

“But you didn’t speak… I only spoke up to get your attention,”

“I don’t care what excuse you have for your, outburst. Do it again, and I’ll have you sent to the Divide faster than the hounds, and you know them when they’re hungry!”

“Understood… Sir, what was it you wanted from me?”

“I’ve heard of a resistance movement sourcing at the Mojave outpost. They recently moved into Nipton, and they were welcomed with open arms apparently! This sort of movement cannot be allowed to continue, so you are going to get rid of them,”

“How exactly do you want me to do that sir?”

“I want them sorted, and if that means killing them, do it. If they gain support they could take back Primm and before you know it they’ll be banging on our doors! Never underestimate the power of the slaves,”

“I never did. I’ll be on my way then,”

“Go, go! I’ve got more Chairmen to kill…”

The Courier left, taking one last look at the Lucky 38 before he left;

‘It used to be so beautiful, the true jewel of the Mojave… Why did they ruin this place?’

His thoughts soon digressed as he passed the tower and set out of The Strip, proceeding into the wasteland once more.

Mojave Outpost

Knight collected his ID from the security gate, and once again entered the Mojave, a look of uncertainty on his face. This wasn’t the Mojave he knew, this was entirely new; when he was here the Legion was just a small fortress on the eastern Hoover Dam, and now it’s taken over the whole wasteland! He walked over to the office building, where a soldier stood to greet him.

“Welcome Major, I hope your journey was good,”

“Thank you soldier, but you know it could have been better given the circumstances of my being here…. Why can’t you get some other general to do this, I’m only a major,”

“They’re so spread out trying to hold their borders against the Legion armies; their attacks are getting more and more frequent, and this resistance may be our only chance to take back some control,”

“Ok… If I have to do this, what do you want me to do?”

“You are going to Nipton with me and some other soldiers. We’re helping spread the resistance to Primm and out to Novac. If they’re as welcoming as Nipton, this is going to go very well indeed,”

“Good to hear, but just one thing I need to know…”

“Ask away, I will at least try to answer,”

“What about the Courier?”

The soldiers around the outpost froze, and all of a sudden all eyes were pointed at Knight; the soldier took a step back and cleared his throat, and a sudden look of fear appeared on his face,

“He… he’s still in the Wasteland, he’s serving as the Legate’s second in command, and that is why you are here sir,”

“What do you mean?” Knight looked worried now, but he knew what the soldier was going to say, he didn’t even have to tell him…

“You may be our only chance at getting him to see some sense. You both were close before all this, maybe he still remembers you,”

“He will, I know he will,”

They stopped talking and set off towards Nipton, the sun setting with California as the backdrop; Knight knew this was the only way to get peace, the courier had to side with them, or they would be dead by morning. He was a lethal weapon, and he attacked without mercy, without remorse, without any love for whom he killed; who would have thought that a simple messenger could become the most deadly human besides the Legate? Knight couldn’t bring himself to understand that, he could never answer that question, but he soon would have to.

Ranger Station Charlie

The Courier arrived at the abandoned outpost, now a burning stack of scrapped automobiles, made complete with the collapsing power lines and the crystal clear night sky the Mojave was borderline famous for. His mind soon drifted back to his old NCR friends, Knight in particular;

‘What have I done? I’ve thrown away some of the best friends I could ever have. Knight was like a brother to me, and I tossed him away like trash! I’ll never see him again, he’ll try to kill me, and I’ll have to defend myself. I can only hope I don’t encounter him in this fight…’

He pushed this thought out of his mind, it only made him upset, and it could lower his performance; He set off into the canyon leading to Nipton, but he soon stopped to observe a small group of soldiers appear nearby. There were six of them, all armed with assault rifles and heavy armour, but one of them he recognised… It was Knight, and he didn’t look comfortable either;

‘why is he here? I can’t do it, I won’t fight him.’

Knight signalled the other soldiers to halt and lower their weapons, for just up the road stood a figure, a lone figure, the Courier, it had to be.

‘Just speak to him; I have to get him to stop this fight. I hope he still has some decency.’

Knight focused on the figure, and cleared his throat to speak;

“You there, state your business. Why are you this far from New Vegas?” The lone figure looked back at him, and it looked like he was smiling.

“I would think you knew me Knight. We have met before, didn’t I buy you a few drinks in Primm?”

Knight grinned when he heard that voice, and those words.

“Oh my god, it is you! Come over here, we need to talk, we want to be peaceful,”

“Don’t worry about me Knight; I will keep my rifle holstered if your soldiers holster theirs,”

“Agreed, come on down, I’ll meet you in the Nipton Town Hall.”

Nipton Town Hall

Knight sat behind an old office desk, probably the seat of the old mayor before the Legion destroyed the town a while back; he was happy to be able to speak to the Courier again, he might be able to change his mind, and maybe save the people of the Mojave. The Courier entered the hall and took his respective seat on the opposite end of the table, and he too was smiling, both were happy to see each other once more, it was like two brothers reunited!

“Hello Courier, it’s great to see you again! I just wish the circumstances were a little different,”

“I agree, this is a mess, and I am entirely responsible for it,” Knight suddenly looked shocked, and lost his ability to speak for a moment, but he composed himself once more.

“What do you mean? Aren’t you happy? You have control of the Mojave!”

“The Legate does, not me. But that’s not what I want, not anymore. I miss my friends in the NCR, I miss you Knight. We used to be such good friends, and I want that back again,”

“I thought I was going to have to convince you to do this, but if you help us take back the Mojave and get the NCR in control again we can be friends, and drink ourselves under the table from the Lucky 38!”

“I’d like that, I really would. But if I did this, the Legion would turn against me, we would struggle to beat them,”

“Not with you Courier, you often underestimate your influence and abilities. If you side with us the slaves and the common people will support us as well, and then before you know it we’d be taking back the Strip,”

“But what if they don’t?”

“They will my friend, there is no denying that. The people will support you, no matter what you do, despite your slightly dark past,”

“Well, it’s a risk worth taking, Knight. For our friendship, I will change sides; the Mojave wasteland will go back to the people, and the NCR will have control again, it’s what’s right.”

“I’m glad you agree with me, shall we get started?”

“Let’s do it, sooner rather than later!”

They both left the hall, reunited and ready to fight; their future was uncertain, but one thing they both knew was that this was right, and their friendship was worth the fight and bloodshed. The following day the NCR left Nipton, the Wasteland now theirs for the taking.


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User avatar
317 Reviews


Points: 20
Reviews: 317

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Sun Mar 16, 2014 12:41 am
lostthought wrote a review...



Ok, I'm here to review, clearly this piece needs TLC- Tender, loving, criticism.

Nitpicks
Ok, so I mainly saw a lot of semicolons. Ever heard of comma overuse? I think you just defined semicolon overuse. Some of those semicolons would be good just as commas out just plain sentences.

EX:

“They will my friend; there is no denying that.
How about "They will my friend, there is no denying that.
Or this "They will my friend. There is no denying that.


The only other thing I saw besides that is the couriers name. I'm pretty sure it's suppose to be capitalized?

“What about the courier?”


Feedback
I don't understand a single thing of this honestly. Slap a tail on me and call me Donkey. I wonder what happens next. Keep writing,

-lost




JackSkinner says...


Thank you for the review :) I don't know how, but I just use semi colons a lot. It only really makes sense if you have played the game before



User avatar
19 Reviews


Points: 440
Reviews: 19

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Fri Mar 07, 2014 4:33 pm
steward wrote a review...



Okay, I'm here for obvious errors, cause I suck at digging in., :)

“Legate, You asked for me?”

So, the capital letter 'Y' on 'You'., :)

The Legate stood in the street, almost completely ignoring his presence, and after some time, the Courier asked again,

That's a lot of commas, :) ., it should be something like
'The Legate stood in the street, almost completely ignoring his presence. After some time, the Courier asked again,'

He turned this time, however he showed no expression, most of it was hidden behind his mask, which was still stained with the blood of the Chairmen, but still through his mask I could sense anger in his eyes.

Okay, I'll try to reword this., :) 'He turned around this time, showing no expression. Behind his mask, which was still stained with the blood of the Chairmen, I could sense his anger.'
Not my best, but you get the point., :D

“Go, go, I’ve got more Chairmen to kill…”

Slight mistake., "Go, go! I've got more Chairmen to kill."

This wasn’t the Mojave he knew, this was entirely new; when he was here the Legion was just a small fortress on the eastern Hoover Dam, and now it’s taken over the whole wasteland!

"This wasn't the Mojave he knew, this was entirely new. When he was here, the Legion was just a small fortress on the eastern Hoover Dam; now, it's taken over the whole wasteland!"


‘why is he here? I can’t do it, I won’t fight him.’

“we have met before, didn’t I buy you a few drinks in Primm?"

“Oh my god, It is you! Come over here, we need to talk, we want to be peaceful,”

Capital letters again., :)
And also there, I noticed you used single quotes for some dialogue, then double quotes for the others. You might want to correct that.

“They will my friend; there is no denying that.

Plural., *friends* :)

“Well it’s a risk worth taking Knight.

Always remember to separate introductory words and direct addresses with commas: "Well, it's a risk worth taking, Knight." :)

Okay, so I don't know the video game, but I'm getting the flow of the story., :) It was great, just with a few typos. So, great work, keep writing, and
*-rock.on., :D




JackSkinner says...


Darn me and typos, we're like two peas in a pod (sort of). :D I will get this sorted so thank you for letting me know



steward says...


Haha., that would be 1 and a half peas in a pod., xD I'm half., you're very welcome., :)



JackSkinner says...


I meant me with typos being peas but i'll role with it :) I hope I corrected everything




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— Groucho Marx