A Day On Daddy's Motorcycle

A Day On Daddy's Motorcycle

The breeze that blows,
Ranches racing past,
Vibration of his motorcycle,
And roadrunners running fast

Mountains that tower over me,
The smile on daddy's face,
Rustling Palo Verde trees,
And the saguro standing high

The cloudless blue skies,
The lizards who scamper,
The endless beautiful desert,
And the small elf owl's lair

A day on daddy's motorcycle,
Is like christmas every once in a while,
But the present i like most,
Is my daddy and his smile

Hope you like it! It's an original poem that got published in a small biker magazine in Arizona. If you like it or don't like it please say below. Any advice is good for me

Aaaaw, this is such a sweet poem!

One nitpick...

But the present I like most,

Also, I think you could replace a couple of commas with periods or just take them out. And, you might want to add a period to the end of each stanza. It will be better grammatically.

Anyways, the only other thing that I think might make this better is if you had it rhyme. It looks really good with all the stanzas having four lines each but it doesn't flow very well and it would be and extremely wonderful poem if it rhymed.

Good job with this! It's so cute and I love the last line

Keep writing,
Alzora

Good job, that was really sweet. I loved it. The line "Is like Christmas every once in a while" didn't fit the rhytm quite right, but overall, this was great.

Hey, Just wanted to say I really enjoyed your poem! Nice work

I love this poem...honestly. Its so simple yet beautiful, it really evokes the feeling of the breeze rushing past your ears and the sun shining on your head. Yet its not overly worded. Beautiful!