Toy Soldier

Standing up tall,
Too afraid to fall.
You cannot cry,
Your life... but a lie.
You live on the frontline
Lose the mask and finally shine.
Your face of stone,
Is standing there all alone.
Your life gets colder,
Isn't it time, you admit you’re a toy soldier?

I really liked this poem it does speak to something fragile within people, I don't really think to be honest that a toy soldier is quite fragile enough. Maybe a marble statue or a glass soldier would be more fitting. Most toy soldiers are either tin or plastic durable. But, at the same time the poem spoke to something false and empty and toy soldiers are something hollow and empty.

Great poem, but when I was reading it some of the lines were uneven, and it messed the flow up a little, because some had more syllables than others and you have to adjust how you read them so they fit, maybe change a few words to make it easier to read through. But otherwise, great effort! Keep Writing!

Nice! It was short, to the point and had a great meaning and great ending. The flow was the main thing that threw me off. It really doesn't flow well at all; it's rough and choppy. The first two lines are OK, then suddenly you're thrown hilter-skilter. Anyway, *like* this, and if you just tidy up the smoothness, it'll be awesome.

Ola, the name's Nafe and I'm here to review your poem. Well duuhh. Lol.

I liked this poem very much. Every time I hear the words "toy soldier" I think of Eminem's song which was so beautiful. As a result I always expect things about toy soldiers be it a poem, a story, a song etc to be of high standard and just speak to me as well. I think your poem qualifies *you may now feel very chuffed* lol.

The flow however could use a couple of tweaks as pointed out above by the people that have already commented on this poem. I disagree with Daniel about changing it from toy soldiers to statues or whatever. The topic is perfect just the way it is. Although, most do only associate this poem with toy soldiers, I also beliveve as humans we do sometimes feel this way. Perhaps that's why I sort of relate to this particular piece. The first too lines really spoke to me.

Overall though, it was a brilliant poem. Good job.

I fixed it up. I do hope this is better.

I thought this poem was very moving. It showed how we as people can be manipulated like the toy soldier. How we lie to ourselves by believing we have control. But the toy soldier doesn't seem to fit, I feel like this poem was more about the mind but the toy soldier seems to be but a mindless pawn. I absolutely am fascinated by the story behind this piece. I'd love to know what was going through your mind and what you were feeling when you wrote this.
Keep up the awesome work!!