Gray

Spoiler

Here's another one I wrote back in 2009. At the time, I was struggling with my belief in God.

In the dead of night,
I call your name;

To hear no answer,
So long the flame,

That once burned so bright
Inside this heart;

Now nothing burns,
As I fall apart.

Chest now cold,
It’s here to stay;

Where are you, God?
My world’s gone gray…

2009 Vincent Cuccolo

First of all, I loved the rhyming. It added another level to it! About the feeling behind this, I share empathy with you. I have been there! In my life, in the past, it was just going by fine. Until, I lost someone close to my heart. It took a tragedy for me to see that God will be there for me. One question, now you said, this was back in 2009, do you feel the same way now?

About the grammar, I didn't really see any major flaws. But, maybe after "Inside this heart" add a period. It's a pretty long sentence!

Keep writing. Good job!

Hello! First of all, I liked your poem. That's just it. I liked it: your words didn't move me to love it. It had a gentle, methodical flow, and your grammar was okay. Sorry for such a short and bland review. Thanks, keep up the good writing!
~ Amelia

I like how it flowed, and they way you used the words. I'm not a Christian, but I could keep reading this over and over again. Good job.

I liked this poem mainly for two reasons. One, your rhyme scheme flowed beautifully in my opinion. Two, the simplicity of it worked very well. This didn't exactly have to be one of those long, strung out poems. Though, others might think differently, I do not.

Also, your message was sort of timeless. I think everyday people become questioners of a higher power. But it's just these kinds of things that make you come back believing stronger I suppose --those days of doubt. And it makes for even more beautiful poetry.

Great job I think. Keep up the nice work.