Teenage Boy Lust

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Points 1040
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Spoiler
Was ticked when I wrote this. But I wrote it very quickly. I would love critique<3


Look me in the eye,
that's the least you could do.
Glancing away at the sky,
trying to make me feel bad for you.

You think I'll fall for it,
like I did the other times.
Think I'll fall for your poems,
those pitiful, selfish rhymes.

Take a picture of my face,
this is the last time you'll see me.
Put me on your wall to remember,
maybe then you'll actually SEE me.

The girl you played with,
stomped on,
crushed, trampled,
spit on.

You pick me up,
to push me down.
You sat there and smiled,
while I frowned.

Think I didn't notice,
the pain you inflicted.
Just because you looked sincere,
doesn't mean I was ever tricked.

Now I'm saying goodbye,
whose smiling now?
While I'm walking away,
take a look at that "fat cow".

Yeah, I heard it when you said it,
you meant it,
I repeated it,
just to make you regret it.

Wiped the smirk off your face,
yeah the thing between your ears.
Don't know what I saw in it,
for all these damn years.

I remember you now,
taking a look back on my past.
I'm grateful everyday,
that we broke apart fast.

You still sicken me,
after all these years,
watching you play with her heart,
uncaps my fears.

Now I'm scared to move on,
scared to trust,
scared to love.
Cause your curse,
is carried by your followers.
That teenage boy lust.
Hess<3




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Points 1071
Reviews 26
HessicaJolt, this was a very good poem. I feel like in some areas it could be a bit more detailed, or with a bit more flow. The only way to achieve this flow is to read the poem aloud to yourself. Other than that, this poem has so much passion and emotion put into it that it makes me really feel into the whole story you told. Thank you for sharing! Keep up your writing and I'll be watching! :)
-sapphirewednesday<3




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Points 3277
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Haha, this is awesome. Boys suck.
...or dear Bellatrix, who likes to play with her food before she eats it?
Fear makes the wolf seem bigger.
I got attacked by a swan.




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Points 6975
Reviews 125
Wow, I really loved this poem! There was a lot of emotion and passion. I think that this is a very relatable poem. It is easy to connect to and understand. Even though I really loved the story and passion of the poem, I felt like the flow was off in some sections. I know that I also have trouble with perfecting the flow, but that is just something you may want to work on as well. Awesome poem overall :) !
I'd like to think I'm creative... instead of just plain weird ;D



When she transformed into a butterfly, the caterpillars spoke not of her beauty, but of her weirdness. They wanted her to change back into what she always had been. But she had wings.
— Dean Jackson