Glance of Anger

He will be drawn no mercy out of him,

This line's wording confuses me.

Singing like a demon of satanic hymn.

I like this line, it's nicely sinister

He will punished thy soul,

Do you mean "He will punish thy soul,"?

This is an ok poem. The first two lines are great but the greatness drops off by the last line. Maybe try to make the last line go more smoothly.

Keep writing!
Alzora

Sorry, posted twice.

Let's fix some grammar points:

He who hasbeen eaten by anger,
Sticking his pride out like a finger;
No mercy will be drawn out of him,
Singing like a demon of satanic hymn.

He who wasslashed by the fiercest of anger,
Cried and shouted as loud as thunder.
He will punish thy soul,
Pushing thee in the pit of fire until you fall.

Kill him! Teach him!
Not to mess with an angry hymn.
That to face the wrath of danger.
Thou shall not have the glance of anger.

I am not quite sure what this poem is about, though you have done a very good job in conveying your emotions--there's vengeance and anger running through this alright.

Try to re-read your poem from the point of view of an outside reader who has no background information at all and does not know what you are thinking. You'll probably be able to avoid being too vague that way.

Keep on writing, I'm looking forwards to some great things!

@Justagirl: "He will be drawn no mercy out of him," Thanks for addressing what confuses you... But I will think it over if its appropriate to change such for I believe that its okay. I wrote that way because I'm trying to "imitate" poets that wrote like "Kill not those people..." instead of "Don't kill those people...". Get some point?? Furthermore, I'm thankful that you had reviewed my work. Just approach me if there's anything that I can do for you (esp.literary works).

@ireylcadence: Oh... I'm touched that you'd just spare some of your time editing some of my flaws, thanks. However, I will consider some subj-verb agreement problems and some tense problems but not all. Hope to review other works of mine in the future.

@Justagirl & ireylcadence: Thanks for exerting "effort". I really appreciate it... If you want me to review some of your woks, just feel free to visit me @ page.php?id=107... It's a kind of you if you will follow it... Thanks...