Gone Again

Quiet waters,
and the bridge
over pale light
masks the dusky road.

I would like to see
the afternoon light
swallow you up
in the faint taste of autumn.

Here I stand;
the roses
are the color
of the morning, and I

am watching
your footsteps
as they pit pat
along the cobbles

and thorn.

Quiet waters,
and the bridge
over pale light
masks the dusky road.

I love the way your poem begins. It sets a scene in my mind.

I would like to see
the afternoon light
swallow you up
in the faint taste of autumn.

This is absolutely gorgeous. I love the language you use.

Here I stand:
the roses
are the color
of the morning, and I

am watching
your footsteps
as they pit pat
along the cobbles

and thorn.

The ending is truly beautiful. I love the imagery it gives me. This is a gorgeous poem. Keep writing!

This is definitely a beautiful poem. I love the words you used, and how you used the. It gave me a fairly clear mental image but left something up to the imagination. I myself think that is what a poem should be like. Over all I didn't see any major nitpicks, just one.

Here I stand;
the roses
are the color
of the morning, and I

Keep writing,
-Jem

Very, very pretty. You have excellent description but not too much, like jemjive said, so it leaves me some room to think up myself. The first stanza is wonderful and start excellent imagry; the last two stanzas form a very sweet ending. But what does

I would like to see
the afternoon light
swallow you up
in the faint taste of autumn

mean? It sounds faintly malicious, like she's hoping he'll die or something. Or maybe it's blatantly obvious what it means and I'm just a retard for not seeing it. Whatev. Look! a pirate!

I really enjoyed this poem it seems quite a nice, uplifting poem and the imagery created from such simple descriptions is really good.

Hey Glimmerglass,

When I finished reading this I instantly thought: I want more. It's actually a little bit terrific, what you have here, but I wish there was more for me to read. I'm not sure if you think this works wells this short, but I think you could crown this off with more to it. Or maybe I'm just being greedy. Maybe it's a good thing the poem is a snapshot, "gone again" like the title.

The way it flowed, the enjambement, and the way you chose your words carefully stood out for me. I particularly loved "the roses are the colour of the morning" and "the faint tase of autumn".

The last line should probably be "and the thorns" though, unless I'm missing something? I also disliked "Here I stand"; I thought it seemed particularly dull for such a lovely little poem.

Keep writing!