An Ice Cream Truck in Late Summer

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Seems like we miss it every time--
the music too quiet,
the outside noise too great.
We hear the bells,
leap up shrieking to get the door and then
it's gone,
too far to catch.

So we eat ice cream from our own freezer
and wait for it to come back around.
"Existence is only futile if you say it is, and it's only meaningful if you say it is. And if you say neither, then it's just boring." -E.S.J.




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Hey Stripes ^^ Shina here for a review ;)


I. Nitpicks

We hear the bells,

No comma needed hear.
leap up shrieking to get the door and then

"And then" should be on the next line or get its own line.

II.Overall

Cute poem, Stripes. There's not much to review, but you may need to think more about the moral or story. Waiting for the ice cream man... there could be more story to this, maybe describe more of what goes on during the summer.

Hope this helps

-Shina
You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself into one.

The writer, when he is also an artist, is someone who admits what others don't dare reveal.




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