those joyful days

Youth is gone,
that young happy boy,
with his blue eyes gleaming,
and his smile beaming.

Innocents is shattered,
that soft cool breeze,
that peaceful wind
that calming draft

Pain is here,
that evil beast
with its crimson eyes
and its keen claws

Knowledge has arrived,
its labyrinthine mind
and its lust for learning
its greed for more

Age has barged in
its bright green eyes
with its crippling fist
and its deceiving smile

I have grown up
my playing days are over
will i have no fun
what oh what will i do?

TuckEr EllsowrTh

Hey!

Cool poem!

Knowledge has arrived,
it's [s] labyrinthine[/s] labyrinth mind

Correct those mistakes. S'il vous plait.

Put your periods after your stanzas please. Also put your commas in.

I have grown up,
my playing days are over,
will I have no fun ?
what, oh what will I do?

Fix those.

And please spell your name right.

Good poem! Keep up the good work!

zOe

Hi dogs, if that is your name. LOL. Well i really got the message behind your poem communicated in a simple and appealing style. It was wonderful reading your poem. Your poem brings to mind the feelings that one has when he discovers that Hey! Its no more those childhood days, it's growingup time and the challenges it brings. The only mistakes i saw have been addressed. Take care.

Hi dogs!
It was a nice and a simple poem. Childhood days are certainly the most beautiful days in one's life.
Apart from the mistakes mentioned, I think that it is 'innocence' and not 'innocents' that you meant in the second paragraph.
Thanks for your reviews. They did help me.

thankyou kiwalker and praisjoe for the good reviews =D



=P forever zoey

You're welcome Tucker. If I don't point it out, who will?

And for the millionth time, spell my name right!!!!!!!!

zOe