Call Me Suicidal

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CALL ME SUICIDAL

So here I stand, right here I stand
Stagnant in the raining sand
A hollow shell without a home
A stranger to familiar land
Where so many men have and will roam
A whole horizon I have scanned
To find that I remain alone
Not long before my sun will rise
My nakedness to all be shown
Seen for the first by cyan skies
And judged by nature’s eye: so red
The night has cooler softer eyes
Unlike the morning heat I dread
They sing me soothing lullabies
And trap me gently in my head
I know my dark will soon be dead


And while my purpose remains tidal
Just call me suicidal


I take the time now to express
As I stand defiant on precipice
The daily struggle that I face
Confounded by my emptiness
An ongoing fight to find my place
In this flawed and modern wilderness
Against the hourglass I race
On my heels its jaws they snap
I’m running blind, my eyes of mace
I raise raw wings and flap, and flap
I wish to one day fly away
An exodus from cyclic trap
I hope that I can find a way
As I complete another lap
To cut my chains and join your fray
And be set alight by light of day

But while my purpose remains tidal
Just call me suicidal



And suddenly it comes to me
And such a simple prophecy
Fore one cannot afford to wait
And be swallowed up by apathy
When one can just manipulate
The waters in their future sea
A bridge across can they create
To get them where they want to go
Don’t be tempted by tricky fate
Enticing you with passive flow
Just hold your breath and take a dive
Your lungs will burn your heart will slow
But at the surface you’ll arrive
Your eyes will glisten, your heart will glow
On ultraviolet rays you’ll thrive
You’ll never have been more alive


But still my purpose remains tidal
So call me suicidal


I want to bleed, I want to burn
I want to scream, I want to earn
The oxygen with which I’m blessed
I need to hurt, I need to learn
To fill the desperate emptiness
And with what I need not to discern
There’s no such thing as worst or best
‘Tween hate and love and love and pain
For both can cause severe unrest
And both can make complete again
So struggle ‘till your soul is bent
To find the sunlight in the rain
But not long until you must relent
When seeing how much time was slain
Precious minutes, better spent
So with anything I’ll be content


I’ll let my purpose remain tidal
So call me suicidal


So shake hands with risk and time befriend
Perpetually alive with soul to mend
Perfection is a deadly space
An illusion we cannot comprehend
In life and love it holds no place
Insecurities pretend
That it will be a warm embrace
When in truth it lies far out of reach
Moments now and past erase
For faultlessness a deadly leech
So see the world for all its vice
Accept its flaws and don’t beseech
Skate like mad across the ice
And if you fall on sleety beach
Adrenaline will be worth the price
Of pain that’s caused by fateful dice


Please let my purpose remain tidal
And call me suicidal


Now for eyes upon my back I itch
I think I now could make a switch
The shadows for the open light
Before there’s been just the one hitch
And now I will not run in fright
Shallow wounds I’ll simply stitch
Prepare myself for further fight
I’ll curve my lips and clench my fists
And stand and stare with all my might
My light will dissipate the mist
Declaring war on insignificance
I’ll take a match to scrolls and lists
And any structure created hence
Within myself, an anarchist
For don’t you see: it makes such sense
For death is life’s one consequence

So let my purpose remain tidal
And call me suicidal
Last edited by erratik_statik on Sun Mar 15, 2009 5:55 am, edited 1 time in total.




User avatar
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Points 2926
Reviews 122
I am sorry man. This poem is really good: long, theme, plot, the words that you used! But it got boring in the SECOND HALF. I understand that this is really awesome. Problem is the second half didn't change. It became boring so I couldn't read it to the end. That's why not many people are commenting this poem because it's too long.

I agree that a poem, lyric ,or story should be long but it just gets boring when you don't change it, and you continue explaining what you did in the beginning.

Any ways I will give you a star because I can see how hard you tried.
I would grade this 4-/5.
Blood is red
But Heaven is blue
The Devil will fined out
And take you




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 1610
Reviews 47
I agree.
This was good, but I mean does it really need to be so long?
You have a lot in you, I bet, and you're a great poet.
It sucks that it has to be that way but nowadays people are just plain impatient.
I read the whole thing, and overall, it rocked.
You describe things so vividly, and you just seem so real.
I'm impressed.
Keep it up.
NaNoWriMo, ftw.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 115
Wow. I liked this so much! The way your words twisted into different meanings but you still have a slight idea of what they're really about, well, I mean I think every reader has a different opinion to what it all could mean. I loved it, and I don't think you should change a thing. =]

_Writing for love is a passion_
No where to run...baby let's hide. Take her in your arms on a chilling winter's night. Watch the stars twinkle and glisten. Know that you've found the one person that will listen. ~*(ME)*~




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 3121
Reviews 108
Hey!

I liked your poem. It's sad how everyone's sooo impatient nowadays, and can't read the whole thing. Personally, I read it all and loved it. Usually I don't read poems that long, but I was very impressed in the first half and decided to keep reading. I loved it, and it created a great imagery. I wouldn't change it if I were you, but if you really want to, you can.

Keep up the good work!

zOe
Help! I can't remember if I'm the evil twin or the good one!



Meet me in Montauk.
— Charlie Kaufman