Young Writers Society

I really don't like the ending last two lines, so I'd like some feedback on how to make atleast those better.

cheers CL

Muse
Muse Circle v.2

roving touches
faint to dust
on my skin
rough kisses plaster
themselves
to my aching heart
an angel with battle-scarred wings
sighs fondly in my embrace
my inspiration-
alive
but breaking under
repeated abuse
like the Wall, she ruptures
with pride, hate and longing
but most of all fear
Goodbye, Lenin she remarks
to me
coddled in my
western cloister
rummpled and brittle
are the wings that
once sparkled with ambition
cracked are the pale lips
that once spoke the melodies
of
a charmer
lost is she now
my muse
for she’s run along
musing

Very good. You really did the enjambment well.

Overall it was awesome! I really enjoyed it, but towards the end the poem lost its rhythm and fell apart. Maybe you should keep the same length phrases throughout the whole poem.