On Paper

Go easy on me guys. This is my first post ever!!

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There are so many words that I want to write,
to express myself,
to paint pictures with words,
to make my stories come alive.
I want to create different worlds,
tell peoples stories.
Pull dreams and hopes out of my head.
It's like magic, isn't it?
Making lines and curves on paper,
black and white,
sometimes reds and blues.
With them, a sea can spit it's green foam,
the sun can light the way of a traveler,
snow capped peaks can glissen with a million diamonds.
At times, the words won't come.
Others, they fly out like sparks from the end of my pen.
On paper, I can do anything.
I can be anything, on paper.

bravo.

i like this, a lot.

it was poetic, but not quite a poem; more of an expression of one's desires and lusts, phrased in a poetic style.

try separating it into stanzas so it's easier to read, though.

all in all, this was great.
keep it up.

Some tiny grammar mistakes:

I want to create different worlds,
tell peoples stories.

Peoples should have an apostrophe right after it.

With them, a sea can spit it's green foam,
the sun can light the way of a traveler,

It's is equivalent to it is, so you don't want an apostrophe this time.

Overall it's a likable poem, and it does capture the *magic* throughout the process of writing. Nice job

good heart in your words.

It's not in your preface line that ask for us to go easy on you where I find my reason to give you praise.

I like this poem because of honesty. you can hear honesty through words written on paper.

congrats mostly on your last lines. On paper you can be anyone.

You can if you were writing fictional stories. I think on paper when you write as you do, in a honest fashion, you are creating who you actually are.

Hello, welcome to YWS!

Firstly, a brief rule that we have here, is to have 2 reviews for every post you make of your own work.

Now for the critique:

There are so many words that I want to write,

to express myself,

to paint pictures with words,

to make my stories come alive.

**These words need something to them. Right now. They are just a simple sentence and somewhat meaningless to the poem. Cliche. Add flavor and description, a metaphor of figurative language so that it isn't so bland and abrupt.

I want to create different worlds,

tell peoples stories.

Pull dreams and hopes out of my head.

It's like magic, isn't it?

**This is more like talking. You're involving the reader and really here I thought this might do better as a story.

Making lines and curves on paper,

black and white,

sometimes reds and blues.

With them, a sea can spit it's green foam,

the sun can light the way of a traveler,

snow capped peaks can glissen with a million diamonds.

**Wow, and here all the description comes! I really like this part, but it's weird how it turns all poetic right here when the poem is about to end.

At times, the words won't come.

Others, they fly out like sparks from the end of my pen.

On paper, I can do anything.

I can be anything, on paper.

**The ending is a little cliche and there's not enough description still. Overall your point is good but it needs more oomph.

Happy editing!
~Rieda