Emo love <3

As i lay on this bed i feel a cold presence
A ghostly spirit a dead silence
I open my eyes to see nothing but darkness.

The pain runs through my veins
So sad no one understands my distress
Tears run down my cheeks as i dream of him
Why can't he love me the way i love him.

He makes me smile makes me laugh
Can't think of anything i would do to hurt him
All these kids saying emo freak emo freak
When i think of him nothing else matters.

Why do people decisive other peoples style
There are Chavez emo's Goths punk's so much more
Why can't i live to be what i want to be
Without people shouting names and hurtful comments.

omg that is so good I have felt this way before.

Whooooooa. First of all, shelley, didn't you read the rules? You need to review two things before you post something. So, go do that now. Also, XxXSerenityStillXxX, you've done 2 reviews and posted 4 things. By the 2:1 ratio rule, you need to go critique 6 things now. Don't worry, it gets easier as you go along. I have about an 11:1 ratio at this point.

I'll crit this when you've critted.

{ reright a little}As [/i]I lay on this bed I feel a cold presence
A ghostly spirit,
A dead silence
I open my eyes to see nothing but darkness.

The pain runs through my veins
So sad no one understands my distress
Tears run down my cheeks as [i]I dream of him
Why can't he love me the way I love him.

He makes me smile,
Makes me laugh
Can't think of anything I would do to hurt him
All these kids saying 'Emo freak. Emo freak.'
When I think of him nothing else matters.

Why do people *decisive*(you sure that's what you ment ot put?) other peoples style
There are Chavez emo's Goths punk's so much more
Why can't I live to be what I want to be
Without people shouting names and hurtful comments

Pritty good other than htat.