Exile, Home.

Take me home
Mother, take me home.

Take me home
to the land I was born
to the land I call hom

Take me home.
Father, take me home.

Take me home
to the place of my birth
where my loyalites lie

Take me home,
little sister, take me home.

Take me home
to the pain, blood and tears
take me home
to the war and the guns
the terrorism, the pain, the killings
take me home.

Take me home,
Brother, take me home.

Let me run
carefree in a field of wild flowers
in the valley of Jezreel

Let me go on adventures
with my freinds
hiking in the desert sleeping under the stars

Let me feel at home
playing guitar on the beach
with complete strangers,
closer than brothers

Let me
work the land and build it up
and make the desert bloom
let me follow in my grandfathers footsteps

Let me climb masada and
ski on the Hermon
Let me swim in the Red Sea
and float in the Dead Sea

Let me dance in the streets
on holidays
drinking in the revelry
becoming one with our people, Israel
as if I never left
rejoicing as we did in '48

But most importantly, Mother, Father
Let me go home.

It seemed almost like two different poem/songs with the same theme. Try mixing up the stanzas, so that the ones where you repeat the line "Take me home" go before and after the other stanzas.

Well done! It definitely sounds good.
This was good with some errors like:

Take me home
Mother, take me home

I would have preferred the comma after the first lines home.

Take me home
to the land I was born
to the land I call hom

U missed an e in the word home.

Take me home
to the place of my birth
where my loyalites lie

loyalties spelling wrong. And I would prefer lay instead of lie.

Let me go on adventures
with my freinds
hiking in the desert sleeping under the stars

spelling wrong of friends.


It was a kind of a plain and simple lyric without something special in it, I mean a tinge of that special effect is going missing in this piece of work, which I usually find in ur stuff.
In all its good but as I said u it needs some more effort. Keep writing.
And I think I checked it as though its a poem and not a lyric,lol,sorry for that,u know pointing out the spellings and all.