a kiss on broken lips

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Points 890
Reviews 5
What good is a kiss on broken lips?
Everything we've done and everything to come.
I try to forgive you but how can i?
your kisses mean nothing and you don't even try.

What kind is this love if i have to beg?
lost within a haze and floating in a daze.
i want you to tell me all you've done.
but nothing comes to you and you haven't even come,
to me.

Is this all I can ask for?
do i really mean nothing to you?
do you hate me that much to forget me?
i know that i won't forget you.

what good is love in a liars heart?
i want to trust your soul, but haven't you a goal?
i wish that you'd confide
but it's obvious you've lied,
to me.

Is this all i can ask for?
do i really mean nothing to you?
do you hate me that much to forget me?
i know that i won't forget you.




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 31
I think it is a really good poem, but if you put capital letters at the beginning of each line and capital letters for "I". Also I don't think you need to put a comer at the end of this line :
but nothing comes to you and you haven't even come,
to
me.

and
but it's obvious you've lied,
to me.
There’s nothing to do, There’s nothing to see
There’s no where to go, There’s no where to be
I’m just sitting alone, In this empty room
Writing my poem, I’m over the moon




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Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 22
Other than the errors it was as really good piece of work and I enjoyed reading it.




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Gender Male
Points 6517
Reviews 798
To me


Take this out of the two stanza;s it appears in. It does nothing but halt the flow of the poem.

Overall, this is really good, I quite enjoyed reading it. Nicely done.
Mah name is jiggleh. And I like to jiggle.

"Indecision and terror, thy name is novel." - Chiko




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 1160
I don't know why but I have the urge to say TOO MANY QUESTIONS!
Honestly, in poems usually there are no questions or very little ones, and it's from the unknown that questions are asked... for me anyway...

Nice job otherwise. Capitalize the I's as cathy said... yes... nice job.




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 221
I agree: Too many questions. I think you did really good on this poem and I enjoyed reading it. There are a few errors and i think you should capitalize as well.
Quarrels would not last long if the fault were only on one side.
--La Rochedoucauld

"An unexamined life is not worth living..."
---Socraties



They laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at them because they're all the same.
— Kurt Cobain