U hurt Me

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You hurt me; I couldn't stand it....

I wanted to hear you but the truth wasn't true;
Or maybe it was that I
Didn't want to hear it from you
You always are telling me, and I don't believe you
it's not true;
Have to let go, can't hold on
You don't want me
My heart is gone, I can't accept it
You never care
No matter how hard I try; you're never there
Here it is, it's a fact
You just don't like me
I just can't accept that

-Nicole L.
Last edited by Tropicana on Fri Sep 15, 2006 12:43 am, edited 1 time in total.




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Again, you don't need the enlarged fonts at those certain points in your poem. Don't use chat abbreviations like "<3", either. In "No matter how hard I try; you're never there", you need a comma instead of a semicolon.

Otherwise, it was good. I liked its sound and flow a lot. Keep it up! I am beginning to like your work quite a bit. :-)

-*-*--Diana--*-*-
You say "crazy" like it's a bad thing...




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See this for critique on this poem:

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=7351
The Oneday Cafe
though we do not speak, we are by no means silent.




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innerbeauty555 wrote: Don't use chat abbreviations like "<3", either. In "No matter how hard I try; you're never there"


What the heck happened to the rules? Honestly... I mean... HONESTLY! Did you do this in your other poem? I can't remember, you did the enlarging I know, but that heart thing was pathetic.... I didn't get the point, i was sort of disctracted... but... *forgets what I was about to say*

Twas sort of choppy.




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they have a point, don't make the words bold or put symbols. But good poem anyways



Uh, Lisa, the whole reason we have elected officials is so we don't have to think all the time. Just like that rainforest scare a few years back: our officials saw there was a problem and they fixed it, didn't they?
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