Young Writers Society

Tea and Toast


We are ugly in the morning,
my face is puffy and lame.
We could use this time to talk,
but I’m speechless, it’s a shame.
Words are left untouched
and stacked up by the drain.

I could ask you to ask me
the things I long you to yearn for.
But the day is much too young
to pack itself off to war.
It's more foolish than it’s worth,
to wish for a little more.

Is there romance in the misery
Is there justice from the pain?
Because early morning love is blind
and it’s colder than the rain.
I’m looking for a sign of it
The spark I can’t explain,
then you set it down in front of me.
That heart; pure and plain-
I see joy in tea and toast
Bliss in the mundane.

We are ugly in the morning, my face is puffy and lame.We could use this time to talk,but I’m speechless, it’s a shame.Words are left untouchedand stacked up by the drain.I could ask you to ask methe things I long you to yearn for.But the day is much too youngto pack itself off to war.It's more foolish than it’s worth,to wish for a little more.Is there romance in the miseryIs there justice from the pain?Because early morning love is blindand it’s colder than the rain.I’m looking for a sign of itThe spark I can’t explain,then you set it down in front of me.That heart; pure and plain-I see joy in tea and toastBliss in the mundane

For this poem it was really the unusual title it had that really drew me in (for some reason, hahha). I liked your rhyming and the poem seemed to flow with ease. However I didn't really get what you were trying to express with this poem. At least I think I do now. Other than that it was a joy to read!

~G.G (Gamergirl)

This was a nice poem. I did have issues with the second stanza, though. I felt like it was sandwiched between two really solid stanzas, but fell flat in itself. It just didn't have the right rhythm and time to it. That second stanza really is the only thing I'd fix, and possibly the little fact that only certain lines are capitalized (and I wouldn't capitalize any unless it was the beginning of a sentence); the rest of it was really good, and for whatever reason made me smile.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver

Hi there, Eimear!

I like this... and your avatar<3 *sings*

Okay, talking about the poem: The subject you're bringing us is neat, and the way you expressed it is neater, since you managed to make it original. Kudos on that. Although, you need to fix the punctuation in your last stanza, like for example, there should be a question mark after the first line. Other than that, you did a great job!

Keep Writing!

~Solly<3