You Are

You Are

Your thoughts are more valuable than silver
Your being more precious than myrrh
So what the HECK do you do
When the world says “You make me hurl”.

I wish I knew the answers
I truly wish I did
But trust me when I say this
Nothings worth the end.

For there is a God in Heaven
And there are people that care
Cause when you have a problem
You must open up and share.

I’m not here to sway you
One way or the next
I’m only here to help you
Be your very best.

You have the full potiental
To be anything you desire
So don’t go by the world’s standards
Set yourself much higher.

I’m not trying to look better
Or exalt myself high
I’m just trying to fix the world
And maybe save a life.

Love is a human’s strongest emotion
Don’t take this the wrong way
Though you barely know me
I love you just the same.

So just keep on fighting
And believe the mountains worth the climb
For you must trust me when I say this
YOU ARE the reason worth the rhyme!

Nothings worth the end.

*Nothing's
Nothing is

Cause when you have a problem

* 'Cause
Cause means like I'm doing this for a good cause.
The way you're using "cause" is a slang abbreviation of "because" so put an apostrophe in front of "cause"

I like your rhyme. I can see how this could be a motivational poem for people stuck in the ruts of life and thinking of ending it all. I haven't seen a motivational poem before on YWS, so I commend you for that. Keep on writing words of encouragement to others!

Great Great Great Great Great! It is nice to have an encouraging poem, there are not many! You had amazing flow and emotion! The stanza structure is grand! My favourite line is ;

You have the full potiental
To be anything you desire
So don’t go by the world’s standards
Set yourself much higher.

I applaud your great efforts to use your writing to help others!

aww what an amazing strong and beautiful poem! you had my attention since the beginning and i loved every word line after line, stanza after stanza.your poem speaks the truth and says it all.it made me feel something warm afterwards and i know this poem could help someone whom is having a hard time.great work!

This is a very encourraging poem and you manage to deliver the message real good both with good imagery, reflections and powerful lines!

"You have the full potiental
To be anything you desire
So don’t go by the world’s standards
Set yourself much higher." - This stanza here is incredibly good, it could be a powerful poem just by itself, it's that good!

* This piece has got emotion
* The flow is good
* You've used punctuation, big plus for that
* The structure of the piece, with regular stanzas and all - Perfect
* No grammatic errors as far as I can see
* This poem has got a message, a good one!

So... as you see, there's nothing much to complain about! 5/5 icky sticky spiders to you!

Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Demoness

Hello.

I think it's a good effort to write something positive for a change. I've noticed that a lot of poems in the site have been taking a darker turn.

Now though I do like the message you are trying to convey, I think you could have done it better.

First, I commend you once again for rhyming but it doesn't always work to the benefit of the poem. I think that some rhymes in this poem sound a bit forced. Particularly the first stanza with "you make me hurl". I felt like you chose that line only to make it rhyme a little with myrrh. It was a little out of place. A rhyme scheme can be very constricting but if you are intent on using a rhyme scheme, I suggest that you really try to widen your vocabulary so as to have a broader choice of words. It's unfortunate when a rhyming poem fails just because of an out of place line.

Second, I don't think that capitalizing a bunch of words from time to time help your case at all. It comes off as too dramatic. It makes the supposedly motivational feel of this poem a little laughable. Perhaps you can italicize instead of capitalizing?

I do like your message, but it's cliche. There's a lot of motivational stuff out there that have this exact same message and because the message of the poem is cliche, the only way to present this was in a new and original way. However, I find that many of the lines you used in this poem are very old-hat as well. Use more vivid and original imagery. Present this in a new way to the reader.

Nixie

Hey

I think this poem is great! Love it!

Anyway, I think you're awesome and you should keep writing

And the poem's really powerful ^^

It made me cry and by the way, I love you too xD
Hehe =D

What I feel about you:

*You have a strong potential
*You're going to be an awesome writer
* You can write really strong poems which makes people's heart melt :') Like mine just did!
*You're poems are worth a read.
* Keep writing and wall post me when you have new poems ^^

Love it! I think the corrections are all made. So, anyway, Good luck! xD

Love,
Cookie or LM!