Best Friends

Hey, Jolene.

So, there were quite a few grammatical/chat-speaky/spelling errors going on here I see. I can see why some might not choose to capitalize when writing poetry for stylistic reasons, but you seemed to have unnecessary commas at the end of each line and your spelling wasn't at all very grammatically correct.

One thing that's important to keep in mind when posting literary works here on YWS is the no chat speak rule. For example, when spelling the word your, we don't short hand it to "ur". It's not a very big rule, just something to keep in mind when posting works up. It's actually a rule when using the chat room as well if I'm not mistaken. (Ironically enough. xD) So yes! Proper grammar m'dear.

Also, when writing out poetry I'd just like to say that there is no real need for the commas after each line like the way you've done it here. When writing out your poem, simply place commas and periods where you normally would when writing out a letter or a story. I've corrected the main things that stuck out to me below, but you'll probably have to re-do the commas and periods yourself. Though I wouldn't mind lending a hand if you need it.

jolene15 wrote:

best friends should stick together,
foreve(r) and foreve(r),
even thou(gh) they don(')t,
if someone says they're,
your best friend and,
then stabs you in the back and ,
never talks to you again that's,
not a best-friend to me

The poem itself was quite simple to grasp. I think you could have maybe elaborated a bit more, but that's alright if you'd choose to leave it simple the way it is. It seemed a little like more of a thought than a poem in my opinion, but I guess the main thing that stuck out to me as a bit of an eyesore was mainly the spelling and such. But now that I've pointed that out I feel a little less OCD. I think you should maybe go through and edit once or twice at least. After that you'll maybe see some need for improvement on the actual content of the poem itself. There's always room for improvement. :]

-Smylin'

Hi there!

I enjoyed reading your poem. It's written fairly well and you did a great job getting your point across. You put a lot of emotion into this. There were some grammer and spelling error in this, but it looks like SmylinG fixed all of that for you.

Overall it was a good poem. Keep writing!

This has a nice topic but it just wasn't detailed or grammatically correct. I noticed that somebody already pointed that out so I'm just going to shut my trap.

We've all lost friends. We've all been stabbed in the back. This is something that everybody can relate to and everybody can write about. If you really want to wow somebody with this subject, then you have to put full effort into it.

I didn't feel any emotions. When I get betrayed or 'stabbed in the back', I feel upset, frustrated, angry, confused. Where is that in this piece? We can't relate to your story because we don't know how you feel or what really happened. How exactly did they stab you in the back? Did you do something that caused it to happen? Could you have prevented it? How did you feel? What did you want to do when feeling this way?

There are so many ways to express this topic and this just seemed like a pile of words. I'm not saying that you have to change this poem, but I am giving simple advice and recommendations. I hope you keep writing and I hope that this helped! Have a nice evening!

Heey! The content of this is great and very cute! Obviously there's alot of grammatical errors and lack of capitals and stuff but since it's not your work and was only given to you all I can say is... you've got a real sweet friend to write this to you, hold on to him/her!

I liked it a lot. But to me it seemed plain no offense.
I hope I did not hurt your feelings:(

Hi there Jolene

You see, you're poetry has many mistakes for a short poem like this one.

First that you have to learn about poetry are that :

1) You mustn't use any Chat Language. That's a minus point to you're poetry.
2) You're spellings must be correct
3) Where ever there's a comma, semi-colon, etc... Is needed, make sure you put in them to words too

Corrections

best friends should stick together,
foreve(r) and foreve(r),
even thou(gh) they don(')t(.)
if someone says (,)
"you're my best friend" and,
then stabs you in the back and ,
never talks to you again(,) now that's
not a best-friend to me O.O

I don't think there's a need for a (-) between best friend.
So, let it be this way...

not a best friend to me

I guess you have to work on you're writing A LOT!
But I'm sure you'll get used it ^.^

Keep writing <3 !

--
LM.

hey there, i reviewed your small poem and let me say i agree with what you said.it may be small but it tells it all straight up and it's what i liked.you did make a few errors im sure you could tell and maybe you could be just a little more straight forward on the topic but over all, nice job

Im not upset about what you guys are saying but I put it that way so it look like a little kid wrote it and i like it that way