Ghost

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Gender Female
Points 1083
Reviews 3
She searches the world
Looking
For the girl she once knew
As herself

She had a kind heart and
a large smile
But she got lost
Somewhere in the past

The others think
She was a
Ghost
But she knows better

So she continues
To search the world
Looking
For the girl she once knew
As herself
If there's a book you really want to read but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it. ~Toni Morrison




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Points 903
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I loved this poem I'm not good with the nitpicky stuff, I only have one improvement.

Ladyinpurple597 wrote:
So she continues
To search the world
Looking
For the girl she once knew
As herself I think you should take out the As, or try to rework the ending. Either way it would still be a great poem.


Good job, and keep on writing.
I may not be the brightest crayon in the box. I might not be the prettiest, shiniest or favorite. I might not be anything to anyone, but yet I'm still in the box.

There's nothing wrong with you. There's a lot wrong with the world you live in. - Chris Colfer

I love you all, and thank you for reading my posts




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Points 1242
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I really liked this poem and could relate to it. I actually respectfully disagree with the above comment and think you should keep 'as', but I agree the last stanza needs rewording and here is my suggestion:

So still, she searches
The world

Looking
For the girl she once knew
As herself


You really need to think about punctuation, it needs commas/full stops at the ends of the lines, but overall great work :D
~Una palabra no dice nada y al mismo tiempo lo esconde todo~ Carlos Varela




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Points 646
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That was a vary inspirational poem.I loved the flow and emotion.You did exceptional!
IHI means hi backwards, forwards, vertical, horizontal, and any other way and is pronounced by saying the individual letters, like so I H I. I came up with IHI as my thing, don't take it or I will send a scary monster after you ; D




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Thanks for taking the time to review and give me suggestions. I really appreciate all of your feedback.
If there's a book you really want to read but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it. ~Toni Morrison




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Points 2918
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I really liked the imagery that you used. I could really this in my mind. I did think thought that you could use some puncuation to improve it a bit. Other than that it was good.
When people ask me, why are you so weird, I never know what to say. Then I think, why should I be like this when I can be like ttthhhiiiisss?




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Points 1753
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I like this poem a lot. I love how, when I read it, the words flowed together. "Ghost" was easy to read, understandable, and overall, very enjoyable!

So she continues
To search the world
Looking
For the girl she once knew
As herself


^ That is my favorite part of the whole poem. Love it.

I hope you keep writing! :)

~JustMe
I don't obsess.

I think.

Intensely.

-----

Excuse me, I have work to do. Evil plots don't make themselves.




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Points 1244
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I really think the theme of this was very good, especially since some people actually do go after this. It's a very human poem, so well done.

I guess I really didn't think the rhythm was one I would use, but you made it work. Another criticism would be that even though you split the poem into stanzas with mostly the same number of lines, the lines don't seem to correspond at all. For this poem, I would recommend just making it one whole thing so it retains the free-verse-ness of the piece... Anyways, if you were going for free verse.




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Points 517
Reviews 9
Nice poem I liked it
! Time to Write !



I'll show my defiance through ironic obedience!
— AstralHunter